Don't Get Attached

Chapter Twelve

"Will you take the damn jacket off now?" Was the first thing your father said as the icy air whipped your faces.

"I'm cold." You replied defiantly.

"Better cold than dead!" He hollered back. "What was your plan if he decided to shoot you?"

"He was never going to shoot me. Were you Connor?" You looked over at the android who seemed like he hadn't been listening the last few seconds. He loosened his grip on your hand, so you let go of it.

"I-I I don't understand." He stammered not really answering you. "I could have shot you, [Y/N]."

"That's what I was saying!" Hank chimed in.

"Connor, I know you better than that, you were never going to shoot me." You assured him, but as you took a half step forward, he stepped backwards.

"I should have shot you, [Y/N]. It's what my programing should have told me to do." Connor explained with a shaking voice. It shouldn't have mattered what I wanted or what I thought. My mission is to stop the deviants at any cost."

"But you must have some sort of...I don't know sub-programing that stops you from hurting innocent people." You suggested. "Maybe if the test had really been whether or not to shoot an android, you might have chosen differently."

"No." Connor shook his head. "I don't think I would have. Perhaps I should report this incident to Cyberlife." He frowned.

"What if you do that and they think you've become deviant?" You asked him.

"What if I already have?" He asked you back worriedly.

"Why don't we get in the car?" Hank shivered. "[Y/N]'s right. It's cold out here, we can sort all of this out at home."

"I'm sorry that I almost shot you, [Y/N]." He apologized quietly as the three of you trudged through the snow towards Hank's car.

You didn't know what to say, so you did not respond. The car ride home from Kamski's was nearly silent. All three of you were absorbed in your own thoughts. You didn't know it at the time, but you were all thinking about the same thing. You were thinking about Connor standing there, pointing the gun at you; his finger on the trigger.

"Connor, why don't you go inside?" Hank ordered as soon as he parked the car. Connor nodded before getting out of the car and doing as he'd been told.

"I think you should go home." Your father said once you were alone together.

"We are home, Dad." You replied already reaching for the handle of the backdoor.

"No, I mean I think you should go back to your own place." You stopped reaching for the car door and looked up.Your father made eye contact with your through the rearview mirror. "I don't think it's safe for you to be around Connor right now."

"Dad, you're being paranoid." You insisted, trying to brush the whole thing off.

"I'm serious, [Y/N]." He told you, looking very worried. "I didn't want to say anything in front of him, but I think Connor might be a deviant or at least is very close to becoming one. I think you're a bad influence on him..."

"A bad influence?" You scoffed.

"You didn't let me finish. There's something about you...You confuse him. Do you know what will happen to him if we can't figure out a way to stop these deviants?" He asked you.

"Well, no. I guess I never thought about it." You pulled the collar of Connor's jacket close to you. It was a mild defense mechanism for how uncomfortable you suddenly felt.

"They're gonna shut him down." Your father replied. "They'll take his brain chip thing out to analyze it. The rest of him will get melted down and the Connor we know will be replaced with something new. Possibly something even more machine than him."

"I really thought I was helping him this whole time." You said quietly. "I thought if I could help him understand humans it might help him understand deviants better. What if he is a deviant, Dad? What if I did that to him? They'll want to disassemble him anyway, wont they?"

"I don't know, kid." He frowned. "But that's why I think for now it would be a good idea for you to go. Give him some time to clear his head. Let him focus on the cases."

"Yeah, alright." You nodded before getting out of the car at last. You shrugged Connor's jacket off and ignored the sinking feeling in your stomach.

"Is everything alright, Lieutenant? [Y/N]?" Connor tilted his head slightly. He studied you and Hank as you entered the house. You were both wearing unmistakable expressions of sadness.

"Con...Connor..." You took a deep breath, choking back tears. You knew you had to leave, you had to do it for Connor. What you were doing could possibly save his life, but that didn't make telling him any easier in that moment. "I've decided to move back into my own apartment. Things were easier for everyone before I was living here."

"I don't understand." Connor frowned. "I thought you moved in to be with Lieutenant Anderson. Is this because of what happened at Kamski's place? Are you...are you afraid of me, [Y/N]?" The look on Connor's face that that of true brokenheartedness. It was too much for you to bare. You wished you could explain everything to him, but that would only make things worse. You opened your mouth to say something, but the words didn't come.

"No, Connor it's my fault." Hank chimed in, coming to your rescue. "I sent you in the house because I didn't want you to hear us fighting. I told [Y/N] not to wear that jacket. She was asking to get shot dressed like that! I don't want her around if she's just going to act like a fucking android. Not in my house! If she wants to be a deviant sympathizer, she can do it somewhere else!"

"I'm gonna go pack my stuff. Connor, please take your jacket back." You held the coat out to him with a shaking hand.

"Lieutenant, I think you should reconsider..." Connor tried to suggest but Hank cut him off.

"Shut up! I don't need suggestions from you! What I need is a drink." He pushed past you and Connor both and headed straight for his bottle of whiskey settled on the kitchen table.

"[Y/N], I do no think that you should leave. Clearly the Lieutenant is not himself." Connor attempted to change your mind.

"You know as well as I do Connor, there's no changing his mind once he's in a mood like this. I'll come by for my stuff another time. I'll see you around." You tossed Connor's jacket on the couch and left the house. You managed to hold back your tears until you made it to your car. You turned the key in the ignition and before the radio even turned on, you had already dissolved into hysterical weeping.