A Reason To Live | ✔️

Chapter One

Four Months Ago...

Why am I here?

That question weighs heavily on my mind as I make my way through the tall building. Today is my first official day at my new job and my nerves are eating at me as I step onto the elevator and press the button for the top floor.

I am 30 minutes early, something I do constantly thanks to my ADHD and anxiety. I am early to everything simply because the fear of being late terrifies me way more than it should.

I'm not even sure why I applied for the job, I am anything but organized, tidy, and neat. But I need a job and it was the one place that was hiring.

With my medical debt from a year and a half ago, I need a job with high pay in order to afford to live. The irony behind this doesn't amuse me. I want to die and yet here I am doing anything and everything in order to live..

The ding from the elevator arriving at the top floor brings me out of my thoughts and I smooth over my long skirt as I step off.

Thanks to being here on Friday I already know where I'm going but it doesn't stop my heart from racing as I make my way towards my desk. I am officially the personal assistant to the CEO of a new and very well known security company in Chicago, well, in 30 minutes technically.

The large double doors to my new boss, Zander Scott, office are opened and I peek inside. Mr. Scott's back is towards me, he staring out of the large window behind his desk, his hands behind his back and his suit jacket off. 

I have seen pictures of Zander Scott on the internet and read up on him and his company a bit well before my interview last week. He stands at 6 foot 3 inches, he is muscular(kind of a given for a security company huh?), brown hair, and blue eyes.

"Can I help you?" I jump at his voice as he turns around to face me. Its dark in the room considering so I can barely make out the tight frown on his face.

I stand there nervously, "sorry sir. I, um, I'm Freya Conner, your new PA."

"Ah yes, do come in. You're a little early for your first day."

I slowly step inside his office, it's clean and neat. I just know I am going to get fired by the end of the week.

"Yes, sir. I was too nervous and didn't want to risk being late."

"So you showed up thirty minutes early." There is a humorous tone to his voice as he grabs the suit jacket off the back of his desk chair and slips it on.

"Yes, sir." I bring my bottom lip into my mouth and chew on it.

"Freya, I am not too sure what you have been told but if you call me sir again we are going to have some problems."

My eyes widen at his statement, "I  - sorry, I'm not -" I stop talking unsure of what to say and too nervous to say more in fear of rambling. 

He walks over to me as he buttons his suit jacket, his face coming into full view in the light. I almost fall over as I look at him. I have seen pictures plenty but the in-person view is so much better. His blue eyes are so deep and bright I find myself staring at him a little too long.

"Do you understand?" He raises an eyebrow at me and I realize I completely missed everything he said to me, mesmerized by his eyes. 

"I'm sorry I - um -" Yeah, I'm definitely getting fired before the end of the week. I need to snap out of it, being flustered in front of my boss can not be a good thing.

"Look Freya, I'm not a normal CEO and if you're going to be my personal assistant we are going to spend a lot of time together, just call me Zander, or Zan, okay?"

I nod quickly and he walks past me, his scent fills my nose and he smells amazing. I quickly follow him out of his office, "this is your desk. You will find a work laptop, cell phone, and tablet. Your work login is provided on a sticky note inside the laptop. Do you have any questions?"

I shake my head, "no, sir - I mean, no, Zander."

"All right I'll let you to it." He walks away, down the hallway, leaving me standing there feeling like a complete and total idiot.

I toss my purse against the wall and plop down into the chair after removing my coat. I move the phone and tablet off the laptop and open it up, finding the sticky note that has the laptop password as well as my information for the company login.

After logging in I spend some time looking through the shared calendar and emails wondering if there is anything to do.

The sound of something being placed on my desk causes me to jump slightly, my eyes jumping up and noticing Zander standing at my desk, a coffee cup in his hand.

I look down at the desk to find an iced coffee sitting on my desk.

"White chocolate raspberry cold brew, extra splash of milk," Zander says. My coffee order but how did.. my brain freezes, of course they would do an extensive background check on me.

I feel small at the realization that he probably also knows about my medical history. He must know he hired a crazy person. While I realize logically he couldn't, HIPPA laws and all, I can't stop the feeling of my heart racing in my chest. Someone from my past could have told him, there were always ways around that..right?

"Thanks," I say. "Isn't it my job to get the coffee though?" I ask curiously, pushing down the embarrassment I am feeling.

"This isn't going to be my only coffee today, Freya."

I nod quickly, swallowing the saliva that has gathered in my mouth from my nerves before speaking, "of course si - Zander."

"So did you figure it out?" He asked pointing to the laptop.

"Oh, um, yes. Your first meeting isn't until 9."

"Excellent," he says before taking a sip of his coffee and walking away.

I want to follow him, find out what exactly he knows, if he knows about..my past but I don't.