Meet Me By The Altar

TESTIMONY

Mickay's POV...

2 moths and 4 days until...

Sunday morning I awoke early. I skipped two weeks of service because I was in pain. Felt something like a heartbreak even though my heart wasn't broken.

I went to the closet trying to find a dress to wear. Among this well organized closet were Devon's clothes. I might remove them but I have two months to wait before I do so. Finally I decided to wear a violet A-line see through short dress that stopped right above my knees. Pairing it with purple Oxford shoes and a black pantyhose. I looked like a child again.

As soon as I applied lip gloss, my cousin was knocking on my apartment door. Quickly I threw my hair into the sleekest ponytail I could make while it was in its condition. The pounding became louder as I grabbed my bag and made my way to the door.

"I haven't spoken to you in weeks! Why is that? " It really said when the door finally opened.

"almost killed myself with those damn migraine pills. I was just going through some stuff I'll tell you later though."

"How come I didn't see Devon this morning, isn't he usually enjoying a Sunday watching recap of women's volleyball when he doesn't come with you to church." She asked me to start the vehicle.

"He said he was going to his parents for a while. I don't know when he'll be back." I said buckling my seat belt.

"Why didn't you go meet your future in-laws?"

"They don't really like me that much, so I didn't go." What I said was true but I was still lying, because I don't know where Devon is or what he could be doing.

"Am sure you could have worked your charm on them. Also this has nothing to do with why you haven't been answering my calls."

"You'll find out eventually." I said to her. I haven't been to church because I was avoiding the gossipers who attended. Along with what I had done, but that's going to be my testimony today right.

●●●

Anybody with a testimony today?" Uncle Felix asked. The pastor of the church was my uncle.

I put my bag next to Israel and made an effort to stand up but someone beat me to the front. Two others went up. One was talking about a toxic relationship they had just got out of. Some talk about other problems. It really pushed me off the bench before another person could get up.

Shyly I walked up to the front of the congregation and took the mic.

"As those of you know I started coming here around a decade ago. Before I came here I was with my birth mother. An addict, and I hated her for it. I had an overdose at fifteen when I was told she had died; why? Maybe because the last thing I told her was I hate you. Since recently my fiancé and I had a little disagreement. That disagreement made us give each other a little space, which left a lot of space for negative thoughts of the past. I almost let the same demon that crawled up on my shoulder ten years ago come back about a week ago." I paused for a second and felt my uncle hugging my shoulders.

"Instead of ignoring it, I did what it said. I took three tablets a day instead of one. Inside I felt empty but when I took them it filled me up temporarily. Something knocked it out of my hands when I was about to take them the other day. Even though I came to church and called myself a Christian. I never forgave her. I never forgave her for dying, I never forgave her for not being the mother I deserved. I never forgave her on a hold. But that day when something hit the bottle away from my hand I said out things that I had bottled up since the age of fifteen. I forgave her and it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I forgave her because if the Lord could forgive me for not putting up a fight against temptation, why couldn't I forgive her for not being what a mother should be. Not only did I forgive her but I forgave her but I forgave myself. I'll hand out invitations for my wedding in two months." When I was finished I saw some looking at me with sorry eyes, some with disgust, some with confused glares and some that just didn't care.

"Why didn't you call us?" My uncle said after I was finished.

"I was confused with my thoughts and feelings."

"Where is Devon now?" He asked just before I walked away.

"I don't know. I haven't talked to him since." I said to him. When I went back to my seat I was bombarded with questions.

I also received pity looks from people. I didn't need their petty, I was just going through a dark season in my life at the time. Blaming myself for things that I most definitely can't control. Also I put back on my ring after the holy Ghost knocked the bottle out of my hands, and a forgiving feeling came over me. I stared at the ring before putting it back over my left ring finger.