hell or flying | Chaelisa

Chapter 9

I knew it was her who texted me; it couldn't have been anyone else. The only people ever to text me were Chanyeol or Michael. And seeing as Chanyeol was proudly standing next to me and Michael on his day off, I knew it couldn't be either of them. It was Jennie; I was sure of that.

On one side, I felt relieved that she didn't ghost me the way I assumed. That she hasn't given me a fake number just to get rid of me, as I thought after she hasn't returned any of my calls. But now, knowing she texted me back, I knew she just must've been busy. Naturally, though, me being me jumped to the worst conclusion possible.

Jennie said it herself. We were friends. She was genuine; it was obvious. There was no reason for her to give me false hope just to leave me hanging. I might have missed three years of her life and growth as a person, but I was sure that she would never stoop so low. No, that wasn't Jennie.

The worse part was, there were two sides to a coin. Although one of them was fairly pleasant, now that I was sure Jennie, and I were okay, the other was all but that. Because the other side of things was the knowledge that all I had to do was unlock my phone and check her reply to end my torture. And yet, I couldn't do so. Not when he was right here, watching me like a hawk.

So not only was I now utterly anxious about the prospect of bumping into the woman I definitely wasn't ready to see, but I also had the answer within my grasp and I could not do anything about it.

I was worried, terrified even, as the elevator ascended to the highest floor. Each second that passed felt like an hour and time became interminable. The only thing that assured me that the world hasn't come to a stop was the rapid beating of my heart as the numbers on the display kept increasing.

My breathing was becoming shallow as we neared the top floor, and I wasn't sure whether I would make it. I could hear the blood running in my veins, as my ears were ringing, and everything started to become blurry. My eyes refused to focus, as my reflection in the mirrors became indistinguishable. My hands became clammy as they began to sweat and shake. I desperately needed to hold on to something, but there was nothing that could possibly keep me together. My legs felt like jello and I was anticipating the moment they would just give up and let me fall to the floor.

I felt like a bird trapped in a cage and the walls closing in on me. I was becoming claustrophobic as the surrounding space appeared to be smaller by the second. And what was even worse, I was trapped with a predator who could attack any second. No, I didn't feel safe or relaxed at all. I was on edge, barely holding myself together, moments away from either a heart attack or a panic one. And I wasn't sure which was worse.

Not only were my hands shaking now, but my body began trembling as there were only five floors to go, and I felt my chest constricting, making it impossible for my heart to beat as forcefully as it wanted to. It felt as if my ribs were about to break and it was becoming painful. And each time I tried to calm myself and focus on my breathing, it only began thumping more vigorously than before.

Shallow breaths turned into ragged ones, as they were becoming irregular. However, I couldn't take deeper breaths in, this was as much as I could take. It was as if my lungs became the size of a dried plump, barely even there. And I couldn't help but wonder if this was how regular smokers felt. Thank god I've never put that thing past my lips because have I done so, I was sure that breathing would present an even bigger problem now.

It came to the point where each time I breathed in through my nose; I felt as if I was suffocating, so I inhaled with my mouth instead. However, instead of the lovely feeling of oxygen that I might have taken for granted until now, filling my lungs, I was met with tiny needles piercing through my dry throat.