As I Was

Twelve

Then

"So I said to Tiff that of course I didn't kiss Billy!"

"Ssshhhhh!" Harper mouthed, pressing her pointer finger against her lips and trying her best to hold in her own giggles as she nudged Helen in the side. Rebalancing the phone between them she played with the cord as they continued to listen in on Mary's conversation.

If they were caught Mary would go crazy and the last time she found out they were listening in on her conversations she'd taken the old Rubik's Cube she'd reluctantly handed down to them back.

"Harper?!"

Both girls gasped at the sound of their foster mother, Ruth, calling up the stairs. Pressing hands to their mouths they exchanged glances as Helen quickly and gently hung the phone up. She looked a picture of innocence dressed in her summer dress with her black hair in plaits, her large brown eyes flickering over to their bedroom door as they both waited for the next shout.

Harper, on the other hand, couldn't have looked more mischievous if she tried. The knees of her jeans were ripped where she'd been 'adventuring' in the backyard, there was a stain on the way too big Bon Jovi tshirt she had stolen from Robert and a smudge on her cheek. Her blonde hair had been dragged up into a ponytail in the few seconds Ruth had managed to get her to stay still that morning but had mostly escaped the tie holding it in place. She shuffled in place to bring her knees up to her chest, her big toe wriggling out of a hole in her sock as she listened for her name.

"Harper! Come down here please!"

They usually waited for the second shout to get a hint of what kind of tone they were being shouted in. Had Ruth found the box of pet worms Harper kept in the shed? Or was she going to be offering her something to drink?

Helen sent her a shrug as Harper hopped down off the bed. The tone behind Ruth's shout was one they hadn't heard before, there wasn't the growl behind a potential telling off or the lightness of a potential offer of something nice.

Instead Ruth sounded clipped, as though she was forcing the words to come out of her mouth in a tone more pleasant than she wanted. She didn't sound angry at Harper but also didn't sound as though the living room was going to be an overly welcoming place.

She was waiting at the bottom of the stairs with a smile Harper didn't recognise on her face, her hands clasped at her stomach and her blue eyes wide.

Ruth Rhodes was one of the best foster mothers Harper had during her time in care. She was strict but fair, she'd take them out on days to the zoo or the theme park if they were good and there was always yummy food on the table every single night no matter how many kids she had in the house. She gathered all the younger kids - Harper, Helen, Richard and little Anthony - together at night to read them stories before they went to bed and was always on hand to give a cuddle when needed.

Harper had been placed with her a year ago, aged nine, and she had been hoping her stay was going to last a lot longer. A few of the kids, Helen and Richard especially, were only with Ruth on a temporary basis until their parents were settled in a new place or their grandparents could take them on. Mary was eighteen next month and planning on leaving the home and getting a job and a place of her own, Robert had already gone off on his own path...

And Harper found herself dreaming that Ruth would want to adopt her officially. She didn't have any parents who would want her back, didn't have any grandparents putting things into place so they could take her in, she was alone in the world and Ruth had been the only foster carer she'd come across who she had really bonded with.

A sad looking smile was coming to Ruth's face as Harper reached the bottom of the stairs, her hand outstretching and grasping hold of hers. Crouching down in front of her she licked her thumb and attempted to rub the smudge decorating Harper's cheekbone away, tutting beneath her breath and rolling her eyes as the young girl tried to squirm away.