As I Was

Twenty

October 1975

The baby's cries bounced off the walls as she hurried to pack the bag sitting on the bed, grabbing items of clothing at random from the sets of draws lining the bedroom walls. She remained calm as she packed, her platinum blonde hair tied back into a tight ponytail and her own bags sitting near the door ready to be taken out to the car.

"Are you nearly ready?" he sounded irritable, a worried expression on his face as she turned her head just in time to see him check the watch strapped to his wrist "We need to be going Monica."

"Gideon isn't here yet," she answered sharply, taking a second to glance out of the window to make sure "And I want to say goodbye."

His face screwed up in annoyance as he turned and stormed from the room, off to get in touch with his late brother to check where he was no doubt.

Letting out a sigh Monica checked the contents of the bag in front of her before she zipped it up, it didn't matter which clothes Leonie was to leave with but she wanted to make sure she had stocked enough diapers and the soft rabbit the little baby was so accustomed to having around when she was awake had been included.

Throwing the bag onto her shoulder she left her bedroom and made her way to the one next door. Leonie had settled now, she'd fallen back to sleep while her parents had been rushing around making sure everything they needed was packed up ready for their departure.

Her heart was heavy in her chest as she gently placed the bag down beside the crib. Leonie hadn't slept in that room before, usually located in a moses basket in with her parents, and she looked so peaceful that Monica couldn't stop the guilt at what was about to happen from seeping into her veins.

"We didn't mean for you to be dragged into all of this," she began in a whispered tone, leaning with her forearms on the side of the crib as she watched her daughter sleep "That's why this has to happen," she continued, brushing the wisps of blonde hair from Leonie's face "Not because you aren't loved because you are, more than you will ever know, but because there are people out there who want to turn you into something you aren't."

They had wanted to get out of the life they'd found themselves leading for a while, getting married had changed them and when Leonie came along it was as though their view on everything had been altered to revolve around this singular tiny being. Monica Malick no longer wanted to be a husband and wife Hydra duo, she wanted out.

The whispers had begun almost as soon as she had announced her pregnancy. How talented the child would be with parents such as her and her husband, how loyal and how precious she would be to Hydra. Her training would have to start young, making sure she knew their beliefs in and out, that she was used to weapons from the off...

Hydra knew about the program the KGB had put into place, training young women and moulding them into the perfect assassin, and they were already discussing plans to get something similar set up on their own. Being the daughter of their two best agents Leonie was already being talked about, already being brought up when they thought of who would be the best first student.

"I don't want this life for you sweet girl," she said, her voice catching in her throat as tears sprang to her eyes "You're going to grow up to be wonderful. You're going to be kind and caring, you won't know violence. You'll be a doctor or a lawyer, looking out for people who need your help...or maybe you'll just be a neighbour who looks after their friends' children, watering their plants while they're away...and you'll be happy. As long as you're happy then I will be too."

The sound of footsteps behind her didn't distract her from gazing down to her baby daughter, she knew it was Gideon here to move her on.

"You'll ensure she's properly looked after won't you?" she asked, reaching down to trace her finger down the side of Leonie's face once more. She wanted to grab her and hug her tightly against her chest but she had only just settled and it would be unfair to wake her from such a peaceful slumber.