"What the fūck, why are you calling me?," I ask getting angry.
"I just want to talk to you,".
"For what?,".
"Uh I need to tell you something,".
"Then tell me now,".
"I can't,".
"No nigga you can just use your words and voice,".
"You're making this hard bro,".
"I'm not your bro and if I am then leave me alone, goodbye," I end the call. Humans are frustrating. Feeling angry I go to sleep. I really need a therapist.
...
I groan waking up then my heart does its shit again. What if I'm dying slowly?. Man I don't know. No school today so I get up and go shower for an hour. At this point all a nigga knows is pain. When I'm done I get out and get dressed casually. Baggy clothes. Comfy. I walk downstairs and see breakfast is already done. I sit and dig in.
"19 fresh as fūck I start buying designer," I sing to myself whilst eating. As toxic as my birth giver is she can really cook. Speaking of the devil...
"Good morning," she said looking sad.
"Sup mom," I say after swallowing.
"How are you feeling today?," she says looking at me but not in my eyes. I know that she's doing.
"Why do you care today? What about the other 19 years?," I say coldly.
"I...I got you a therapist, I think you need one, because of me," she sighed.
"Yeah I do and thanks, for the therapist," I said genuinely.
"You're welcome," she said and I gave a nod before I left.
I do not like her at all but my dad raised me in a way that I cannot disrespect her. I miss my dad so much man. I wish heaven had visiting hours, if that's where he went. If it's not I'll see him downstairs. Sigh. I'm thinking of taking a nap but I don't want to? But I do??. I'm conflicted as hell.
My phone vibrates.
Ace: Wassuh nigga
Tyla: The sky how about you?
Ace: Not much but uh...you're not mad or anything?
Tyla: Nah why would I be?
Ace: Okay I'll admit it. I gave Ken your number...forgive me ? 😔💙
Tyla: NIGGAAAA I didn't even think of that. Wow but Nah it's cool really.
Ace: Whew atleast I thought I was going to have to make you sit on my face to forgive me...
Tyla: I- bruh wow I have no words at all . When did you ev-. Nig-. Wow. And you said I'm nasty.
Ace: But you are bro. More than me.
Tyla: I never denied that. Okay I gotta go byeeee. Give or receive today 🗣️. *Gang signs
Ace: Now I-. Okay goodbye 😭🚶🏾♀️. *Weed
I never understood her obsession with weed. This nigga doesn't even smoke it but everytime *weed," want to smoke weed?, weed is healthy it's a plant". Like bruh. Or maybe she does I wouldn't know man. I stop thinking about her then decide to go for a walk. It might sound weird but I love nature and being outside. It connects me to my soul, I believe. I just take my phone and let my mom know I'll be back.
I go out and take a deep breath. It's been a whole year since my dad died but the pain is still there. I don't know if it got better or I just got used to the pain. My mom started living with us 2 years ago and she has been the most toxic ever. She says she loves me and I believe it a little bit but she was never loyal to me like my dad was. Like 21 Savage said, I'd rather have loyalty than love and that's what my dad gave me. I thank him everyday for that. He did love me too but love only does so much. Sigh again. I wonder when my first appointment is with the therapist. Shiiiiiddd what if she's fine as hell. I hope she's gay. Okay nah, but unless.... hmm.
I'm so lost in my thoughts I don't notice that I've stopped walking and someone has bumped into me and they're snapping their fingers in my face. Once I'm back in reality I register what has happened and I take a step back and exhale. Then I see who was snapping their fingers. What in the 2020...
"Yo you good?," Ken asks me.
"Yeah I'm okay,"
"You sure?," she asks looking genuinely concerned.
"Uh yes why do you care?," I asked with curiosity.
"I.. I just do. I still need to tell you something," she says taking one step forward and I take one back.
"Okay speak then," I say.
She holds both of my wrists to stop me from walking away. Which I was maybe going to do. Damn no lies she's a pretty mf. I just never understood why she would bully me, like wtf did I do??.
"I've known you for a while..well since 8th grade and I have to admit that I like you," she says looking in my eyes. What did she say?
"But how, you bullied me for the longest nigga, if that's how you show affection or whatever, it's very weird to me," I say taking my wrists out of her grip.
"I...it was never my intention," she said guiltily.
"So what was your intention, how was it never your intention if you literally and I mean you physically beat me??," I said looking at her.
"Uhm..," she said then looked away.
"If you like me like you say you do, why would you hurt me?," I ask looking in her eyes. She looked defeated.
"I don't know," she said
I sighed and walked back home. She's really got me fucked up. Everyone has honestly.
~ D🖤✨
YOU ARE READING
Leave me alone.
Fantasy"If you like me as you say you do, why would you hurt me?," I said looking in her eyes. She looked defeated. "I don't know," she said. I sighed and walked back home.
