The Best Mistake

Chapter Three

Numb.
That is the only word that can express how I felt over the last few weeks. I got up every morning, went to work, pushed throughout the day and went back home. I don't remember eating, taking any showers, watching the tv or answering the phone. I even forgot that I had a dog. For the first time in my life I wasn't living but only existing. No words can begin to describe what I have been going through in my head. I repeated the doctor's conversation continuously.

"What?" I squeaked out.

"Ms. Shawn, you're pregnant." she smiled. I breath hitched in my throat and my eyes began to water. Dr. Charlton frowned in concern. "I take it this isn't what you wanted?"

"But....but I took the plan B pill."

"Ms. Shawn the plan B pill is almost always effective if you take it the right time. After 48 hours the risks of getting pregnant increases."

My doctor went on and on about scheduling appointments for ultrasounds and prenatal care, but I just couldn't bring myself to pay attention. I walked out of that office even more numb than I was earlier. I was sick to my stomach. I was pregnant for a stranger. A human being is growing inside of me and I didn't know the face of the person who put it there. It wasn't for my amazing boyfriend, it was for some nameless man. The self loathing and pity was relentless. Some days I couldn't bring the tears to stop. My panic attacks were out of control and no one could bring me out of this flunk. It's been two weeks since I found out the dreadful news. I sat quietly behind my desk staring at the blank computer monitor with a blank expression. I played with my fingers roughly as I kept replaying the doctor's words.

"Ava!"

I jumped instantly and looked towards Caleb who stood in front of my desk.
"Yes boss?" I asked standing from my chair.

I smoothed my hands down my skirt nervously.
"I've been standing here calling your name for a while, are you okay?" He asked worried.

His hazel eyes were full of concern and it made me feel worse.
"Um, yes sir, I'm okay." I said reluctantly, not believing my own words.

"Come here, step into my office." He said.

I movee from my desk quickly and followed him inside his office, taking a seat on his couch slowly.

"Ava, I see you as a real asset to this company. You have helped me so much and got so much done in such a short period of time, I am beyond impressed. You are an obvious hard worker, but lately you have been out of it. You've been coming late, you always look restless, you're always blanked out like you're in a different world and you're not keeping up with deadlines. Ava this isn't like you." He said firmly.

I gulped. I felt horrible. I was so wrapped up in my own selfish world I neglected everything else. I worked my ass off to get this job and I am flushing my hard work down the drain because I can't leave my personal life at the door.

"I'm sorry Mr. Reynolds. I am so so sorry, I've been going through so much. You're right, this behaviour is not like me at all. I promise I won't let it happen again, it's so much going on and I know I could've handle things better." I rambled.

"Ava, calm down. I'm just worried about you. What has you so distracted if you don't mind me asking?" He asked.

I sat silently for a few moments contemplating. I'm not even sure what I want to do at this point. I have been avoiding the word for so long that just thinking about it made me nauseous. I took a deep breath slowly.

"I'm....I'm pregnant." I mumbled.

Caleb eyes widened. "Oh! Well congratulations." He said smiling.