The Best Mistake

Chapter Forty-One

"Thanks a lot for putting up with me today." Julia sighed as she pushed her shopping cart.
 
"No problem, I needed to get out for a bit. Besides, it's two weeks before Christmas and I haven't decided what to get the girls." Instinctively, I saw a flash from the corner of my eye and my head snapped to the right to see a woman staring at me in shock, she clearly thought her flash was off. She smiled guilty and ducked away quickly, I rolled my eyes.
 
Julia laughed, "You do realize you can shop online and have everything delivered at your door, right? Then you won't have to subject yourself to this."
 
"You're right but the best part about Christmas at this age is shopping for your kids. I love Christmas shopping in the store. Damn the media."
 
"Did you expect something different? The news about Mason and Chasity's break up spread like a forest fire."
 
"Well since the girls are with my mom, I assumed they wouldn't bother me as much or even notice me without them."
 
"It would've worked except everyone is speculating about you and him now. People believe that you're the reason he left her."
 
I focused on the clothing rack with the baby clothes and looked through them quickly. I pulled out a little sailor suit that looked adorable. "This is cute." I said holding it up. She's having a boy after all. Julia stared at me suspiciously, her eyes narrowed. "What?" I asked innocently.
 
"That theory isn't too far from the truth is it?" I sighed and placed the outfit back on the rack before walking away. I heard a small gasp as Julia pushed her cart to follow me. "You sneaky little liar."
 
"Liar? How did I lie? I never said anything."
 
"Omitting the truth is still a form of lying." I rolled my eyes."Oh my God, you slept with him, didn't you?" She gasped a little too loudly.
 
"Shh, shut up Julia." I looked around the store to make sure we didn't have an audience. "And of course, we slept together, we have two children."
 
"Quit it." She chastised me.
 
"If you're referring to lately the answer is no. There was no sex, no kiss and barely a hug so drop it."
 
"Something did happen between you two didn't it."
 
"Are you done with the third degree?"
 
"Ava come on, you've been acting all jumpy since your mom's wedding, especially when Mason is around." I didn't respond as I browsed through the baby aisle, although I wasn't interested in anything.
 
Julia sighed, "When are you going to stop doing that?"
 
"Doing what?"
 
"You can't hide your feelings forever Ava."
 
"I'm not." I said defensive.
 
"Bullshit. At some point you're going to have to face everything you worked so hard to bury. Stop running away from this."
 
I came to a stop and turned to face her silently. I wished that everyone would stop focusing so much on me. She's right of course but somethings I really don't want to face yet. "Mason told me he's in love with me."
 
Julia's mouth fell open with a soft pop. "What? When?" She whispered.
 
"The day before my mom's wedding."
 
"Are you sure he said those exact words? You didn't misinterpret anything?"
 
I rolled my eyes before turning to continue walking. "Please, I misinterpreted a few things but definitely not that. He was completely upfront with his feelings and basically told me he's waiting for me."
 
"That's great!" She grinned.
 
"Are you nuts? How is that great?"
 
"Well how many men are actually upfront with their feelings openly?"
 
"Well Mason definitely is. He doesn't hold back with anything. He keeps a respectable distance, but I can't escape his looks, his words and how he's so...attentive." I groaned.
 
"What are you going to do?"
 
"What can I do? I have Royce and I can't hurt him that way. We promised not to do that to each other again and I don't want to lose him."
 
"I bet you don't want to lose Mason either."
 
"What's your point?"
 
"My point is you have feelings for both. You just prefer to admit it about one."
 
"Can you just drop it?" I whined.
 
"Sure, you'll admit it soon enough."
 
"I'm tired of everyone thinking that they know me so well. Just leave this alone okay I don't want to deal with this anymore, especially since Royce and I are having a date night tonight."
 
"Ooo, where are you guys going?"
 
"I have no clue, he planned everything and now that my mom wanted to keep the girls for the weekend, we have the house to ourselves." I sighed happily.
 
"Aww, that's so sweet. A whole two days to get some good loving." She winked.
 
I laughed, "I definitely need it."
 
"I thought it was Mason's time to keep them."
 
"No, his time is next weekend. Besides, once I pick them up from my mom's on Monday, he's going to be with them until I'm done with work."
 
"You're one busy woman. I don't know how you do it."
 
"Years of practice." I smiled. "You'll get used to it when you have your little one."
 
"I hope so. You have twins, juggle two positions at work and manage to be caught in a love triangle. Meanwhile I can't remember the last time I was laid."
 
"Oh please, the closer you get to your due date the more you won't care about sex."
 
"Coming from a woman who has two dicks to choose from." She chuckled when I glared at her.
 
Later that evening, I was able to enjoy a beautiful evening planned by Royce. We went to a lovely Italian restaurant that also offered a painting session. So, not only did we eat delicious food, we were able to drink rich wine as we painted and danced to great music. It was so perfect. As our evening festivities came to an end, we slowly made our way back home.
 
"Did you have fun?" Royce asked as we entered the house.
 
"Of course! It was so beautiful and thoughtful. We have to do that again."
 
"Definitely, I'm glad you liked it." He smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck just as he locked the front door. He sighed and pulled me close to him gently. "Do you see how easy it is for us to get where we are now?"
 
"Hmm, I'm actually shocked by how easy it was." I chuckled. He leaned down gently and pressed his lips to mine. I hummed again enjoying the feeling and pulled him a little closer. He pulled away slowly leaving barely any space between our lips.
 
"You know what I was thinking about?" His words caressed my lips as he spoke.
 
"What?"
 
"A wedding."
 
I opened my eyes and pulled away slightly. "Really?"
 
He nodded with a wide smile on his face. "I don't ever want to lose what you and I have, ever. I know that we still have a lot to work through but, I rather work at it every day then lose you."
 
My eyes were swimming with tears from his words. I was a little prepared when he pulled out the ring from his pocket. I watched as he opened the box slowly revealing the most beautiful rose gold diamond ring. "I don't know what to say."
 
"Don't say anything, at least not yet." He chuckled lightly. "I want you to join me upstairs and I will draw us a nice bath to talk and relax in. When we're done, then you can give me your answer."
 
"Why do you want to wait for your answer?"
 
"Because while you're in that bath I want you to think about your answer first because if it's a yes, then you'll be mine forever."
 
I smiled and pulled him into a deep searing kiss. He groaned lightly before leaning down to lift me up, tossing me over his shoulder. "Royce!" I giggled in shock. He carried me up the stairs into our bedroom before depositing me onto the bed. I was still giggling slightly, loving the light happy air around us.
 
"I'll get the water ready." He winked.
 
He emptied his pockets of his wallet, keys and cell phone before loosing his belt and walking into the bathroom. I stood from the bed and moved over to the mirror taking in my attire. My black long-sleeved v neck dress hugged my curves nicely. I combed my fingers gently through my hair as I listened to the water filling the tub. I got distracted with my fingers and brought my left hand down to stare at my bare ring finger. I pictured that beautiful ring against my skin and swallowed around the uncomfortable feeling in my throat. I've been imagining this moment between Royce and I for years, I couldn't wait for the moment when he made me his wife, so why do I feel a sudden burst of unease and doubt? He was right when he said we have a lot to work through, because we do. Is that why I feel so off about saying yes? I knew I loved him, but do I want to spend the rest of my life with him? I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize the low buzzing coming from the bed. For a moment I thought it was mine, but it was Royce's phone that was buzzing. I grabbed the phone quickly in case it was an important call, but it hung up before I could answer. I noticed then that there were three miscalls from a person saved as 'B'. Confused, I glanced into the bathroom making sure he was occupied before unlocking his phone. The thing about snooping is that it's almost never premeditated. Sometimes an opportunity presents itself and you take it, not caring about what you may find or any other consequences. Most of the time you may end up finding something you weren't meant to and sadly, that was my current situation. I opened his messages to find that him and this person B were texting back and forth for months. It wasn't long until I put two and two together. It was Isabell.
'I can't wait to see you.' She wrote.
'I know babe, me too.'
'The other night was great. We have to do that again.'
'I'll come to see you before I leave for work. I miss you so much."
 
My heart hammered in my chest as I read every text, saw every photo and listened to every voice note. "What the hell?" I whispered in shock. Sweat pooled on my forehead and I instantly felt nauseous. It's one thing to be suspicious but a whole other thing to have your suspicions proven. Nothing and I do mean nothing can prepare you for that gut wrenching feeling. A feeling I wouldn't wish upon anyone. My hands were shaking by the time Royce stepped out of the bathroom.
 
"Alright babe, it's read...what's wrong?" He asked, noting the look on my face.
 
"What the hell is this?"
 
"What the hell is what?" He asked, confused.
 
"Cut the bullshit Royce! Who the hell is B?"
 
His eyes widened when he noticed his phone in my hand and the shock look went away quickly. "You went through my phone?" He accused me.
 
"Don't turn this around on me! Explain this shit!" I yelled. He stared back at me lost for words. "Well?!"
 
"Nothing happened between us." He mumbled.
 
"The other night was great, we have to do that again, I miss you, I can't wait to see you." I read out loud. "You're full of shit!" I threw his phone missing his head by inches as he dodged out of the way.
 
"Stop it Ava! I told you nothing happened between us."
 
"You're lying! You told me that you weren't even talking to her. You've been seeing her for months! Is that where you go when you claim you're at work?!"
 
"Of course not!"
 
I took in a sharp breath and bent to grab my bag that was under the bed.
 
"What are you doing?" He asked worriedly.
 
"I'm out of here." I mumbled as I moved to my draws and started grabbing clothes out.
 
"Ava don't be ridiculous, we were having such a good time." He waved his hand towards the bathroom. I didn't respond as I continued to pack my bag quickly. I can't even look at him right now, I was beyond disgusted. "You are blowing this out of proportion! Is this some excuse for you to leave and be with Mason?!"
 
"Excuse me?!"
 
"I mean he is single now. You're grabbing at nothing here, I told you nothing happened. You've been looking for reasons to leave me for months!"
 
"Are you kidding me?! I've been trying to work things out with you for months, years! Staying away from Mason, being the perfect woman for you and showing you that you're who I want! You've been cheating on me for months!"
 
"I did not cheat on you!"
 
"Then explain that huh! You're calling her babe, telling her you miss her and can't wait to see her, you're saying things like I want you and you don't think that's cheating?! Are you delusional?!"
 
"I didn't do anything with her! You have to believe me Ava."
 
"Screw you!" I grabbed my bag, shoved past him and headed out the door. I heard his footsteps heavy behind me as I descended the stairs.
 
"I told you nothing happened! It was harmless flirting!"
 
"Harmless?!" I screeched spinning to face him. I heard a soft whimper from Spot, and he skipped up the stairs.
 
"Yes! Ava you had two children by a stranger, and I forgave you! You cheated on me first remember?!"
 
"How could I forget?! You remind me every chance you get! Furthermore, it only happened once! One time I slept with Mason, One! You're actually dating this woman, seeing her, taking her out and sleeping with her!"
 
"I did not!"
 
"She came to this house! She came here telling me the truth and you had me believe that she was delusional Royce! You knew what you were doing, and you lied to me! You expect me to marry you after all of this?!"
 
"That's hypocritical Ava."
 
"At least I owned up to my mistakes, you're still lying to me." I cried.
 
"Ava, I didn't sleep with her! I was wrong for flirting with her but that's all it was I swear." He pleaded.
 
"Do you want to be with her?" The tears were streaming down my eyes as if I was in a shower.
 
"Of course I don't."
 
"You're lying!" I cried.
 
"She comforted me okay?! She was there for me during a tough time Ava. You cut me open and she stitched me up. I didn't know how to cope, and once Mason came back it was even harder for me because I was losing you again."
 
"I was right here!"
 
"You might've thought so but you weren't! Every time he came here, called, took you and the girls, I saw it. He was taking you away from me and I couldn't stop it. Isabell was just helping me through that."
 
"Is that why you proposed to me? To trap me?" I asked incredulously.
 
"No not necessarily." He mumbled. "If you accepted it, I planned to cut her off completely because I knew that you'd be mine, that you chose me."
 
"And if I didn't?" My throat felt dry. He opened his mouth, but no words came out as his shoulders dropped in defeat. "You won't ever let go of my past and now I understand why because I won't ever forgive you for this."
 
"That's not fair, I forgave you." He cried out.
 
"And so did I when you told me you dated her while you were away, but two wrongs don't make a right Royce. You've been sneaking off to be with her for months and I never did that to you!"
 
"Ava"
 
"I'm done." I whispered, turning to pull open the front door.
 
"I don't care how much you deny it. I'm not wrong about you and Mason, I saw the way you looked at him."
 
"And I saw the way you looked at her."
 
I headed out into the chilly night quickly and made my way to my jeep. My vision was blurred as I drove away from the place I called home all these years. I blinked away my tears frantically trying to regain my focus. I wanted to curl up and cry, to scream but even though now wasn't the time, I couldn't help it. I kept thinking about his face, his smile and his familiar touch. A dull ache pulsed in my chest and I rubbed it gently as I released a sob. How can I go back to normal after being with someone for seven years? How can I just walk away leaving him with a piece of my life and my daughter's lives? I was beyond disgusted and I finally understood why he was so distraught when he found out what I did. It was the reason I didn't hold what he did against him. He was away, our relationship was on the rocks and he was hurt. I forgave him and hoped that we could've moved on, but he never forgave me no matter what he said. Our relationship was ruined the minute I found out I was pregnant and if I'm honest, even before that. The girls only helped seal the deal. I was openly sobbing at this point as I drove. At first, I intended to go to my mom, but I didn't want the girls to see me upset. Then I considered Cat, but she was staying over at Caleb's. I drove aimlessly for hours and before I knew it, I was pulling up in front of Mason's house. It was nearly 2am and the house was in complete darkness. I grabbed some wipes out of my purse and quickly wiped away the essence of my breakdown. Although it wasn't much help, I pulled myself together enough to grab my things and come out of the jeep. I had not thought about using the key or even calling him first, I had not thought at all as I rang the doorbell several times. I continued to ring it until I heard light shuffling and the door began to unlock.
 
Mason pulled open the door wearing long pajama pants with a robe. The robe was loose exposing his chest and his eyes were half closed as he rubbed them. "What the hell, Ava?" He asked confused, blinking awake.
 
"I'm sorry." I mumbled. I should've thought this through.
 
"Ava, what time is it? What are you doing here? Are you okay, are the girls okay?" He was alert instantly.
 
"No no, I'm okay and the girls are fine. I'm sorry I should've thought this through."
 
"Thought what through, what's going on?"
 
"Royce and I…we..." My voice cracked and I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. Mason was watching me intently and his eyes focused on my bag attached to my hand. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come." I said stepping back.
 
"No wait." Mason's hand shot out to me instantly taking my hand and the thrill that I'm used to shot through me at his touch. "Come in." He urged, taking my bag from me.
 
I hesitated only for a moment before entering the house, allowing him to close and lock the door. "I'm sorry for waking you and your mom."
 
"My mom is still in San Francisco, don't worry. Tell me what happened." He whispered, coming to stand in front of me.
 
"Royce...he. I can't even" I was a blubbering mess and Mason's eyes softened in worry.
 
"Come here." He whispered, dropping my bag and pulling me into his embrace. That was all I needed for the dam to break. He held onto me tight as I cried against his chest. I couldn't care that I was soiling him with my tears and snot, and neither was he. I cried for Royce, our relationship, the good times and the bad times. I truly believed that we could've worked things out and be together, but I was a fool, a complete and utter fool. It took me a moment to regain my composure enough to pull away for Mason's embrace. His eyes were filled with sorrow as he stared back at me, although he didn't know exactly what happened I'm pretty sure he can guess.
 
"I'm sorry, I'm a complete mess." I croaked.
 
He shook his head slowly. "You're not. Are you okay?"
 
"I will be." I shrugged sadly.
 
"Do you want to take a bath?"
 
"Do I look that bad?" I asked, chagrined.
 
He smirked. "Well, you could use...a lot."
 
I let out a small laugh as I looked away. He always made things better somehow. He took my chin in his hand gently turning my head to look at him. "You're beautiful as always but I think you need it."
 
I nodded, "I do."
 
He retrieved my bag from the floor before taking my hand and leading me up the stairs. He took me into the bedroom that I consider to be mine and led me into the connecting bathroom. I stood near the door as he started the water, adding a scented body wash to the tub. He took out some electric candles that were in the cupboard and turned them on, before placing them around the bathroom. The fire looked convincing.
"Take all the time you need and relax. I'll make us some hot chocolate." He said quietly. I nodded slowly and he smiled before leaving me alone to my thoughts.
 
The bath was more than helpful. I was able to relax around the bubbles, hot water and lovely vanilla aroma. The tub was big enough to hold three people so getting comfortable was more than easy. I couldn't help my mind drifting towards Royce. The thought of him leaving still brought tears to my eyes but I was comforted with the thought of Mason. He truly has been like my best friend for months now and I appreciate his presence so much. After about thirty minutes, I was able to pull myself out of the bath after the water turned cold. I was too tired to bother with looking for clothes to wear and simply got a white fluffy robe to cover my body. I moved to the mirror to look at my reflection. Granted, I did look a lot better, but I don't exactly feel the way I looked. I ran my brush through my thick hair, deciding to leave it down for now and made my way down to the kitchen. Mason was watching the little tv in the kitchen as he poured the hot chocolate into two mugs. Hearing my entrance, he looked up with a small smile. "Right in time."
 
I shrugged slightly and approached him. "What are you watching?"
 
"Nothing important." He said as he switched the tv off. "You want to watch a movie in the mini theater?"
 
"Lead the way." I smiled. I took one of the mugs from him as we made our way to his basement.
 
"Any suggestions?"
 
"It doesn't really matter." He nodded and I watched as he browsed through movies. I moved to the front row of chairs and sat in front of the wide tv comfortably. Familiar music started and I sighed happily, I love pretty woman. "Nice choice."
 
He smiled and joined me in the front to sit down next to me. For a moment we watched the movie as we sipped our hot chocolate and it was easy to forget where I was and what had happened. "You want to talk about it?" He whispered. So much for forgetting.
 
"There isn't much to talk about. The man I loved for seven years cheated on me multiple times." I said dryly.
 
Mason's face went serious. "The same woman Isabell?"
 
I nodded sadly, "I forgave him, I gave him another chance and he still did it."
 
"Honestly, I'm surprised you gave him another chance in the first place."
 
"Really? After I got pregnant by a stranger." I pointed out. "Even you said most men wouldn't give me a second glance but he did."
 
"I know and I still agree with that, but you only slipped up once and while you were under the influence. He made a conscious decision to cheat continually."
 
"Yea, after I hurt him."
 
"You should stop justifying every wrong that he does. You forgave him after his indiscretions but he's relentless concerning yours."
 
I sighed, "You're right but I got pregnant with two babies and even though it hurt him, he welcomed them with open arms."
 
"Yea, after he purged out his anger and now, you're telling me he never stopped talking to her."
 
I nodded, "I feel so stupid, I feel like I ruined my entire relationship on one night, but our children are the best thing that ever happened to me."
 
"Then you should probably only focus on them. You're not perfect so stop punishing yourself for one mistake." His eyes never left mine as he spoke.
 
"What about you?"
 
"What about me?"
 
"Do you feel that your mistake ruined what you and Chasity had?"
 
"First of all, Chasity and I were nothing but a business arrangement on my end. We never had anything that was worth holding onto. Secondly, being with you that night was never a mistake." His voice was serious, unwavering and charged the atmosphere instantly. It's amazing that even now, sitting in a dark room, I could still see every detail of his striking green eyes. I gulped and leaned away gently causing him to smile.
 
"I guess that's......understandable." I said shakily.
 
"You're welcome to stay as long as you want you know."
 
I smiled, "I know, thank you so much."
 
He turned his attention back to the movie, but I was too distracted to focus on the screen. This time my distraction wasn't because of Royce but instead Mason. He has been patient, understanding and so generous from the moment he entered our lives. He stood by my side knowing how he felt about me and accepting to love me from afar, as long as I'm happy. He showed me more in the last six months than Royce showed me in the last seven years. Why is it so hard for me to let go of Royce? Why am I afraid? I didn't want to be, not anymore.
 
"You were right." I whispered.
 
Mason looked away from the screen and focused on me once again. "Right about what?"
 
"About me not being as intoxicated as I lead on." I admitted. This was harder than I thought to admit to myself because I pushed it away for so long, but now what do I have to lose?
 
"I was afraid."
 
"Afraid of what?" He asked gently.
 
"Afraid of me, afraid of you and how you made me feel." I whispered.
 
"How did I make you feel?"
 
My voice wavered as I whispered. "Alive."
 
He frowned. "Why would that frighten you?" It took me a moment to form a proper answer, after all I'm just now admitting it. I handed him my empty mug and he quickly turned to place them on the side table next to the chairs. I pulled myself closer allowing the leg that was curled under me to touch his thigh. He too turned slightly.
 
"I'm a comfortable girl. I hate coming out of my comfort zone and hate trying new things. You were widely out of the area I was most comfortable. I was already so accustomed to being with Royce and you came along and made me...curious. You woke me from a slumber that I hadn't realized I was in and that scared me."
 
"And now?" His voice was like a soft caress as his breath washed over my face, his gaze intense.
 
"Now..." I trailed off moving closer to his face. "Losing you scares me." I whispered. He released a shuddering breath as I brought my hands up his neck and into his thick hair. I don't remember ever feeling his hair, it was so soft much like the girls. He sighed gently as he closed his eyes, his warm breath saturated my entire being. I wet my lips gently at the thought of tasting him again.
 
"Ava" He whispered.
 
"Hm?" I wasn't quite coherent, and his close proximity was to blame. I couldn't think, nor did I want to. His hands lifted to grab onto my hands pulling them gently from his hair. "What are you doing?" I asked confused.
 
"You're vulnerable Ava and as much I'd like to continue, I don't want him to be the reason."
 
"He isn't." I insisted.
 
"Really?" He asked, not convinced. I decided to take a risk and moved my hands out of his grasp gently. I unfolded myself and tossed my right leg over his lap allowing me to straddle him. Mason froze for a moment before groaning gently. "Ava." He warned. The sound thrilled me more than I expected and it wasn't long before my lady parts started to thump rapidly.
 
"This is not about Royce." I promised. I took his face in my hands gently, forcing him to look at me and enjoying every spark that bounced between us. "This is about me and you. It's about letting go and allowing myself to feel everything I buried so deep." I leaned forward to press my forehead against his own as I whispered my next words. "I want to feel alive again."
 
As soon as the last word left my mouth his lips found mines in a deep heated kiss. I was knocked breathless by the force of his kiss. The feeling it emanated from my very core was fierce, addictive and absolutely arousing. I moaned gently. He took the invitation to deepen the kiss as I buried my fingers into his hair once again. His mouth was warm and delicious, a taste I remembered all too well. He tugged me closer pushing his prominent bulge to my needy center. I gasped lightly at the sensation and he groaned, roughly releasing my lips and attacking my neck. My heart was erratic as an unknowing feeling crept up my spine slowly. I was a panting mess and I couldn't stop, and if I'm being honest, I didn't want to.
 
"Mason." I gasped out as he continued his assault on my neck. My hands moved from his hair and glided over his chest as I tugged his robe over his shoulders. He pulled away to shrug off his robe and I instantly missed his heat. His eyes were filled with hunger and I wanted to climb inside of them, desperate to be closer to him. One of his arms wrapped around my waist while his other hand brought my face back to his. I moaned into his mouth as my hand roamed freely over his toned body. I wanted to memorize every strand of hair, every vein and beauty mark as I pulled myself closer to grind against his shaft. A strangled moan left his lips as I pulled away to start my own assault on his neck. I felt his hand move to the knot on my robe and he quickly tugged it loose with ease. The cool air washed over my naked flesh as he pulled away.
 
"Oh shit." His eyes widened taking in my naked body and I couldn't help but blush under his intense gaze. I sighed as his slightly rough hands caressed the skin above my breasts where my blush spread to. "So beautiful." He murmured. He brought his hands inside my robe and squeezed me close, pushing my nipples against his chest. As he buried his face in my neck and shoulder, my body was lit with flames by his touch. He took my nipples between his lips one at a time and I moaned loudly, tossing my head back. I felt myself being lifted as Mason turned to lower me onto the chair. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he placed his forehead against mine. "Are you sure?" He whispered.
 
I didn't want to think, I didn't want to worry, all I wanted was him and now. "Yes." I nodded before pulling his lips back to my own. Our bodies pushed and pulled as we chased towards the finishing line, towards ecstasy. I couldn't bear for this moment to end, to lose his warm embrace and as we reached our peak, I couldn't imagine life getting any better than this.
It was at that moment I was able to point out the obvious difference between these two men. With Royce I swam but with Mason, I drowned.