The Best Mistake

Chapter Forty-Two

The first thing that I registered was warmth. Not just any warmth, but the kind of warmth you can only get from a naked body. I opened my eyes slowly, slightly disoriented about my surroundings. I was laying on the floor facing the flat screen and the room was dark. The light snores in my ear and the firm grip around my waist from behind was like a dose of cold water. I was instantly alert as every memory from last night jumped to the forefront of my mind. I turned my body gently to see Mason's face. He was fast asleep, his mouth slightly ajar and his head was positioned on my shoulder. We were a tangled mess and I couldn't tell where I ended and where he began. He looked so perfect, so at peace and comfortable in our embrace. There were so many emotions coursing through me, shock, euphoria, confusion, but the strongest one of them all was fear. My fear hit me like a mac truck, stunning, crippling and it was the only thing I could focus on. My heart took off faster than a hummingbird’s wings as the reality of last night set in. How could I be so stupid? How could I allow my twist up emotions to guide me? Not only was I confused about Mason, I was still hurting over Royce. I couldn't bear to face Mason or Royce at this point. I quietly disentangled myself from Mason's hold. I held my breath as I ever so gently moved to my feet. I froze in place as he sighed softly and tossed his arm over his eyes. I released a breath in relief, grabbed my robe and made my way up the stairs. It didn't take me long to get dressed, grab my things and head out of the door. I knew I was wrong for sneaking out the way I did, but at this moment the only thing I cared about was my shame. Tears pooled in my eyes as I realized I had no one to blame but myself, I wasn't drunk last night, completely in my right mind and still slept with him. What is wrong with me?
It was nearly 10 am when I made it back to Vancouver. I've got several miscalls from the two people I was trying so desperately to avoid, Mason and Royce. I couldn't go to my mother's house because I knew that would be the first place they'd look. I pulled up in front of Caleb's house, relieved to see Cat's car. I was more than eager to see her as I knocked on the door quickly.
 
Like I expected, Caleb opened the front door wearing red pajama pants and a t-shirt. "Ava, what are you doing here?"
 
"What do you mean? I always come to see you." I mumbled.
 
"Yea but never early in the morning and especially not on Sunday."
 
I sighed, "I just really wanted to see Cat, if that's okay?" I was staring at the welcome mat, not wanting to meet his eyes. Although Mason and Caleb are different, they still have some resemblance so looking at him right now won't help my emotions.
 
I felt his gaze on me closely but still refused to look up. "Of course, come in."
 
"Thanks." I stepped inside.
 
'"Are you okay?"
 
"I'm okay."
 
I looked behind him and saw Cat coming out of the living room wearing an oversized t-shirt, Caleb's I assume. "Ava, what are you doing here?" I moved past Caleb quickly and went into her arms. I've never been more thankful for her taller frame then I did at this moment. I felt safe somehow, a kind of safety only your best friend can offer. "What's wrong hun? Are you okay?" Her voice was full of concern.
 
"I'm sorry for interrupting you guys, I just needed to get out of there."
 
"Out of where?" I hesitated as I pulled away from her embrace. She read my expression before looking at Caleb. "Babe, give us a minute?"
 
"Ok I'll make you guys some coffee." He said before leaving us.
 
Cat took my hand and led me to the sofa in the living room. "What's going on?"
 
"Where do I start?" I laugh humorlessly.
 
"The beginning?" She suggested.
 
"Royce....cheated on me."
 
Cat's eyes widened. "He did? Again?"
 
I nodded as a stray tear slid down my cheek. "I saw the messages in his phone last night."
 
Cat rubbed my shoulder instantly. "Oh my God. Oh honey."
 
'We had this huge argument and I basically told him it was over before leaving." I couldn't control the break in my voice.
 
"Oh no. Are you okay? Do you want me to kill him cause you know I would." I smiled a little at that because I knew she'd move mountains to help me.
 
"I'm so stupid."
 
"Don't say that." She chastised me.
 
"I am! I constantly make these stupid decisions and I don't know why I do that." I sobbed.
 
Cat took my hand between hers. "Ava, what do you mean? You can't hold yourself responsible for Royce's actions. He's a pig for doing that to you."
 
"I slept with Mason last night." I rushed out.
 
Cat's eyes widened and her mouth went slack. "Girl, you did not."
 
I nodded before wiping my tears away angrily. I hated having an audience to my bad decisions, but Cat is the one person I knew who would never judge me.
 
"Ava, why did you do that? That wasn't very wise."
 
"Don't you think I know that? I knew it, I still did it and I don't even know why. I thought you'd be thrilled to hear me say that."
 
"Normally I would but you obviously still feel conflicted about Royce. Sending Mason mixed signals will do a lot more harm than good."
 
"What do I do?"
 
"You have to know what you want Ava. You have to be honest with yourself and you have to talk to him."
 
"I don't even know what to say."
 
"I know but you can't avoid him Ava. Talking to him may help you clear things up but you have to stop running." She pleaded.
 
"I wouldn't even know what to say to him or where to begin Cat. I don't want to see him or talk to him right now" I cried.
 
"I dare say it's a tad bit late for that." His voice sent a thrill straight to my heart like it always does. I stood up and turned around quickly to see Mason and Caleb standing in the living room entrance. We stared at each other for a long moment, waiting. I could see by the set of his shoulders and the flare of his nostrils that he was upset, and he had every right to be. My shallow breaths were coming out fast and low as I waited for his next move.
 
"Um, why don't we leave these two to talk babe?" Caleb suggested gently.
 
Cat gave my hand a little squeeze, "Talk to him." She whispered before going to Caleb's side.
 
"We'll be upstairs." He said.
 
Throughout the entire exchange, Mason did not take his eyes off me. I don't even think he blinked in the last three minutes. His unwavering gaze charged the atmosphere even more and I fiddled with my fingers nervously. What should I say? This is exactly why I was avoiding him. "Well?" He said breaking the silence.
 
"Well what?" I asked timidly.
 
"Are you going to explain what happened back there?"
 
"Explain what?"
 
"Ava!" He shouted incredulously.
 
"What do you want me to explain?" I asked, desperately trying to come up with a good explanation.
 
"I want you to explain why you came to me last night, why you came into my arms only to leave at the break of dawn!" He moved closer until we were only a few feet apart.
 
"I'm sorry."
 
"You're sorry? The hell with your apologies, I want an explanation Ava. This isn't three years ago, I'm not some guy you screwed after a party."
 
"I know."
 
"You came to me, remember?"
 
"Yes of course." I mumbled.
 
"You didn't go to your mother, or came here or even went to Julia, you drove three hours last night to come to me. You knew what you were looking for, you knew what would've happened!"
 
"Ma....maybe." I stuttered out. I was completely lost for words.
 
"Not maybe, you knew, and I want to know why you left. Why would you come to me if you knew you'd leave again? Was last night a mistake?" He sounded hurt, crushed even.
 
"I don't know, okay! I don't know, I wasn't thinking clearly."
 
"What, what are you going to say now? Your hot chocolate intoxicated you?!"
 
"No!"
 
"Ava," He closed the distance between us quickly and grabbed my hand firmly. He placed my hand against his chest causing the thrill to shoot up my arm. "Do you feel that?" He asked.
 
"I…I" I was a sobbing mess. He took his free hand and wiped my tears away before caressing my cheek.
 
"Don't tell me that you don't feel that because I know that you do. Don't tell me you don't feel anything for me. I know that too. There is something between us Ava, something explosive and you can't fight that. Why are you running away from me?"
 
"I... I don't know. I'm so confused." I cried.
 
His eyes were filled with anguish. Anguish that I caused and couldn't bear to face. "Ava, do you want to be with me?"
 
"Please, I can't deal with this now Mason. I don't want to."
 
Mason dropped his hands instantly, crushed. I couldn't bear to look at the pain in his eyes as he stared at me. I was a complete and total mess. He turned away then, almost as if he was leaving but suddenly turned back to face me. The anguish was replaced with anger, defeat.
 
He snorted incredulously. "You know you always teased me about how I'm my father's prodigy, how I'm more his twin than I am to my own brother. Now look at you, exactly like your father."
 
His words sobered me up and I instantly felt nauseous. "What did you just say?" I asked, shocked.
 
"You heard me. You detest the man so much and you don't even realize that you're just like him."
 
"I am nothing like him!" I shouted.
 
"Really?! You may not have ran out on your own kids, but you definitely run out on everyone else!"
 
"I do not!"
 
"Oh, cut the crap Ava! You run every chance you get. You don't stick around for anything and act as if you're a coward! Anytime things get too tough you run and bury it hoping you never have to face it."
 
"That's not true."
 
"God, you even dated a man for seven years who's just like your father!"
 
"You don't know anything about Royce! He's a good man, he didn't want any of this!"
 
"I know that he runs out on you constantly, I know that he leaves you alone wondering where he's gone off to for hours, days even! You love to view him as a victim, but he chose to stay! No one forced him, no one held a gun to his head! He chose to stay with you and still leaves you!"
 
"Stop it!" Why is he doing this?
 
"You've been with him all of these years because he's your safety net. You know that he will always come back, just how he believes you would too. All he has to do is remind you of how he stayed, how he forgave you and helped raise our kids. Then, you know what he'll do? He'll cheat every chance he gets and for every time you catch him, all he has to do is remind you again."
 
A sob broke from lips, harsh and swift. "You don't know him like I do. You don't know what we have."
 
"Had!" He corrected me. "And from what I can see that was toxic."
 
"No, it wasn't" I shook my head.
 
"Really? Then why are you shaking? Why are you scared? Why do you constantly find yourself in my arms?"
 
I continued to sob and brought my hands up to cover my face. Why is he doing this to me? Was he right? Was I exactly like my father? Mason released a gust of air from his mouth.
 
"You need to decide what you're going to do Ava because as much as I love you, as much as I'd fight for you, I won't settle for being your second choice and I won't let you turn me into someone that says pick me and not him." He whispered.
 
I didn't look up until I heard the door slam. The sound vibrated through the floors. My eyes landed on Cat who stood a few feet away. Her eyes were filled with sorrow and worry as she whispered, "Ava..."
 
I sobbed and shook my head silently before quickly running out of the house. This time, I knew exactly where I needed to go. She was only the person that had the answers to all my silent questions, my mother.
 
I pulled up in front of Joey's home, I guess it's my mother's home now too. The house was pretty cliché if you asked me. A beautiful white house with a white picket fence. The front porch was massive, containing two mahogany benches on each end and a small table that looked like it was intended for board games. My mother was in front of the yard tending to her new garden that she planted in front of the house, adding more color to the plain house. She looked startled when I entered the yard.
 
"Sweetheart, I thought you weren't coming to get the girls until tomorrow."
 
I shook my head as I approached her. "I am, um...where are they?"
 
"They're in the house with Joey watching tv. What's the matter?"