i hate that i love you...

chapter 20- the final farewell

Word Count: 954

TW: mention of s3lf  harm and attempted $u!c!d3

*Kageyama's POV* 

A few months later was her funeral. It was weird. Quiet. Michelle didn't like the quiet. She actually hated that whole "comfortable silence" thing. She was almost always talking or laughing or doing something to break the silence or to have fun. God I missed her. I wish I could tell her how much I missed her.  

My mom was standing there next to me. She had her hand on my shoulder as she tried to comfort me. A sign to tell me that I wasn't alone. I wish I could get that from Michelle, one last time. One more time she forced me to smile just for her. One more time where she would fix my hair. One more time she would hug me. One more time I could hear her voice. One more time I could feel her hand in mine.

 My dad still wasn't there. He finally came home a couple days ago and said he had a "business trip", but I saw the hickeys on his neck and his messed up hair.

 Mom saw it too. 

I don't think he's coming home anymore. 

Michelle's mom was in the very back of everything, she didn't even say anything to anyone. I sincerely hope she rots in hell. My mom and I were standing at the front with Ivy. Ivy clung to my arm the whole way. I didn't mind it, she was basically like a little sister to me. 

When we walked up to Michelle's casket, that's when I broke. Not because of me, but because of Ivy. One look at her sister and she lost it. 

"No! No that isn't her! Michelle, wake up...please." she screamed as she shook her sister's lifeless body. I was thinking the same thing as Ivy. That girl in the casket wasn't Michelle. That thin, pale, lifeless...thing. That was not Michelle. 

I bent down beside Ivy and hugged her as we both cried. "It's gonna be okay..." I reassured her. I was also trying to convince myself at the time. 

Ivy stayed with me the whole time, she was either holding my hand or clinging to my leg. I was never really great with kids, but with Ivy it just kinda came naturally. I always liked Ivy, she was a good kid and she didn't deserve any of this at such a young age. I wish I could've protect her. Her and Michelle. I wish I never smoked that weed that day. Never again. 

*Oikawa's POV *

I watched as Michelle's casket got lowered into the ground. No one knew I was here. I snuck in and tried to stay cool as I watched from afar. 

But...watching her body slowly lower into the earth, I just couldn't take it anymore. I fell to the ground as I sobbed. I couldn't believe it, and I couldn't help but blame myself for some of this. I would never forgive myself for anything. I can't believe I lost her, and never got to properly apologize. Now I'd never get the chance. Maybe when I die, I'll see her again.  

I was shaking as everyone turned to me with wide eyes. I knew I shouldn't have come, but I would hate myself if I never got some type of final goodbye. Kageyama walked over to me once he saw me. I was expecting another punch to the ground. 

But that's not what I got, Kageyama put a hand on my shoulder as I looked up to him. He gave me a reassuring nod as he gave a tiny smile. He was crying to, I mean I'm not surprised. He really loved her. I saw how he protected her and stuck up for her when I was being a drunk bastard. 

"I'm sorry..." I said as my voice shook. 

He nodded and walked off. 

*Timeskip— 11 years later. Ivy's POV*

I waved to Kageyama and his mom as I grabbed my diploma. They had adopted me a few years after my sister's death. My mom moved back to America afterwards. My dad..still don't know who he even is.

 I walked off the stage as I sat by my best friend. Her name was Arabella Oikawa. She was Turoo's younger sister. Kageyama and her brother became friends soon after we did. She was there for me at Michelle's funeral, that's when we first met. She strayed away from her family as she came up to me and hugged me. 

"I'm sorry, I know how it feels. My dad died when I was 4, but it's okay. We'll see them again." she told me. 

Who would've thought that a little girl at six years old would've changed my life. She's been there for me ever since. I even kissed her once. We were only 10. Still, I never forgot about it.

After the ceremony ended I walked over to my mom and my brother. 

"I did it." I said with tears in my eyes. They smiled at me as my mom hugged me and kissed my forehead. My biological mom never did that. 

I never thought I would make it here. Once I reached the age of 11 I started to develop depression. At the age of 12 it got bad and I started to self harm. At the age of 14, it was really bad. That was my first attempt. I had 2 more after that. 14 and 16. But I'm still here. 

I wish Michelle was still here. She would've been proud of me. I hope she's proud of me. 

*Michelle*

I'm so proud of you sis. I'll see you again sometime. 

Ahhh I hope you guys liked the story :) That's it!