i hate that i love you...

chapter 15- look my way

Word Count: 909

*A/N, so I'm really dumb but for the sake of this story let's pretend like Kageyama is a second year just so him and Michelle are the same age, ok ty* 

Also I'm sorry this chapter is so much pain bye- 

*Michelle's POV* 

I didn't go to school the next day, then it was the weekend. 

Oikawa's team had a game against Karasuno. I was gonna go, but now I decided to back out. I texted Oikawa and he just left me on seen. 

Maybe I should just break up with him. I can't take his constant ignorance and ghosting. We were doing so well for a while, but now he was the same, if not worse than when I first met him. He wasn't the same. I miss how he was in the beginning. The boy I began to really love. 

I laid in my bed there, staring at the ceiling. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. It's like I wanted to cry and scream at him for being an asshole to me these past few weeks. I wanted to yell until my lungs gave out and my throat hurt. But, I still loved him. I don't know why, and I hated myself for it. He knew I had a soft spot for him, and he took advantage of that. He knew that I would run back into his arms the second he looked my way. 

I heard the front door creak open and footsteps coming up the stairs. The door opened and I peeked over. It was Kageyama. His royal blue eyes looked down and gave me a sympathetic look. 

"Look, I have a tournament this weekend..." he started, "if you don't want to it's okay, but I would really like it if you would come with me." 

I sat up and looked at him. I wanted to be there for him, but I don't know if I could even handle seeing Oikawa. Hell, even if I did he wouldn't even look my way. 

I just didn't get it. We were fine for a good few weeks, then out of nowhere he just stopped. I didn't know what to do. 

"Sure, I'll go." I said nonchalantly. 

*Kageyama's POV* 

I smiled at her agreement to go, Michelle seemed really out of it ever since that bullshit text from Oikawa. If Michelle ever told me she loved me I would be overwhelmed with happiness. I wanted her to tell me that, just once. God, I would kill for her to tell me that. But, we're just friends. Just like she told my whole team, and that little kid at the bus stop, and Ivy, and Oikawa. 

I've pretty much accepted that she'll never see me the same, because she's always loved excitement and chases. I wasn't interesting enough for her. That's why she stayed with Oikawa. She liked the rush the fighting and the toxicity gave her. I wish she realized her worth, and I wish she would let me give her the treatment she deserves. But no, it'll never be me. She'll always go back to the boy who treats her like shit and won't give her the time of day. 

That's why I was always so determined when it came to volleyball. Michelle and I started high school together and when I first started playing Oikawa would always beat us. He would always be better. Now since I was older and more skilled, I had become better than him. Finally. 

But, no matter how good I was in volleyball, Oikawa had everything else. He had the looks, he was charming, he was popular, and now he had the girl I was in love with. I always thought that even when Michelle transferred, she would never fall for him. She was the one other thing that I had that he didn't. I couldn't blame her though, I would always push my feelings for her down and try to like other girls, but none of them came anywhere close to her. I knew she would never even look at me romantically, and I was shocked she even gave me the time of day in the first place.  

"Tobio? You're spacing out again." Michelle's soft, angelic voice interrupted my thoughts. I shook my thoughts away and gave her a smile. As much as I hated my smile, I knew she couldn't stand to see me look angry or upset. 

"I'm just nervous for tomorrow I guess." I said, hoping she would buy it. 

*Michelle's POV* 

I didn't buy it. Like at all. Kageyama was always a terrible liar, but I was gonna let it be this time, I could tell he didn't wanna talk. He usually didn't, but this time I figured it was best to leave him alone. 

I sometimes wish he was open about how he felt and talked to me. I'm one of the only people he's opened up to, besides some of this close friends from volleyball. 

I reached my hand up slowly and gently held his face. I rubbed my thumb back and forth across his cheek as he turned to me. His face flushed a faint shade of pink and his expression softened. 

"It'll be okay, you'll be okay." I said softly. 

I know he'll be okay, no matter what he's upset about. I believed in him. He was my best friend, and I knew he was strong. I knew it.