jimin pov
___________The walk from my spot on the cold hard road was just a eerie as my mind. I hadn't realized that I didn't look up to watch where I was going and I ended up bumping into something. More likely someone.
My mind was racing with hurtful thoughts. Ways I could hurt myself for being so unobservant. Ways I could die for being so oblivious. While I waited for a hand or a foot to strike me I curled up with my head in my knees and my arms wrapped around.
"Hey sorry. I didn't mean to run into you." This sudden voice and the hand that came along with it made me flinch. It was nice and comforting and very dangerous. Dangerous in the sense that maybe I had already taken a liking to it. To the voice itself even though I knew very well it would never last.
I'm fine without you. Thanks. I didn't take the offered hand and stood on my own. My eyes still on the floor before the figure in front of me chuckled.
I knew it was too good to be true. I knew he'd make fun of me. My tears threatened to spill from the corners of my eyes before he spoke.
"You're cute. I'm Kim Taehyung by the way." My face blushed relentlessly. No one in my entire life has called me that. He's a liar. I didn't see his face. I hadn't had a motive to. All I know is that Kim Taehyung is a liar.
I did my best to contain the desire to cry as I pushed past him making sure to collide my shoulder with his. Maybe decent people don't exist and never did. Maybe I was meant to only suffer unaccompanied for the rest of my life.
"Hey!" He yelled after me but I couldn't stop running. Running from my thoughts. Running from Taehyung. I was now running from what seemed to be a heavy thunderstorm brewing. I felt the wetness of the tiny rain drops on my cheeks. Until I looked at the sky and to find it was a sunny day. A hot day.
My tears were falling. I can't take much more of this today. 6 minutes. I have 6 minutes until I'm home. Until I have some peace.
• time skip to next morning •
With tired eyes and a heavy body I dragged myself out of my dark room and to the living area. Where a family used to share laughs and holidays. Where they used to watch movies and cuddle on the couch. One big happy family.
Used to. The situation happens to be a little different now.
My father doesn't come home. Doesn't feel like he has to. Ever. He's been pretty occupied with cheating on my mother with women he notices at the bars.
I regrettably have abhorrent role models. No exception for the material half either.
My mother is no different. She employs her evenings pretending to be a twenty year old. Going out every night. Getting drunk every night. Having random men at the house every night.
I lock myself in my room all the time to avoid the horror that has become my household. It used to be my safe place. My safe haven. My place away from the awful world. Yet now the only place I can call that is the comfort of my room. I long all day to be between the four gray painted walls. I can't wait to leave this house. To finally be anywhere but this place.
The house was cold and dark. No indication of anyone home. I determined to take this as my opportunity to try to eat. I've been trying to consume any type of food for three days. Every time I try it comes right back up with a burning sensation in the back of my throat. I loathe eating.
The residence was filled with a dreary silence. As if a black cloud was only floating above my home. The only sounds lingering being the noise of my heavy breaths. My inhales were fast and sharp while my exhales were slow and deep.
The handle to the refrigerator was ice cold. Freezing almost. As if it wasn't allowed to touch. Didn't deserve to touch it. I debated with myself for a moment. Do I eat to throw up? Or do I not eat and not make myself go through this again?
I finally took one last breath before removing my hand and walking away. Ultimately deciding that I can wait another day. I'll eat another day.
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Rewriting bc I didn't like it. But better now. Now I can update this one more.✨
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Fanfiction𝗡𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗜 𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝗜'𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵..... #23 jikookangst