𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀..... | 𝗷𝗶𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸 |

park jimin

jimin pov
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The walk from my spot on the cold hard road is just an eerie as the battlefield of my mind. I didn't look up to watch where I was going and end up bumping into something.

More likely someone.

My mind is racing with aching thoughts. Ways I should hurt myself for being so unobservant. Ways I could die for being so oblivious to my surroundings. While I wait for a hand or a foot to strike me I curl up with my head in my knees and my arms wrapped around them.

"Hey I'm sorry. I didn't mean to run into you I was looking down at my phone." The soft voice and the hand that came along with it made me flinch. It is nice and comforting and very dangerous. Dangerous in the sense that maybe I already took a liking to it. To the voice itself even though I know well it won't last.

I'm fine without you. I don't take the offered hand and stand up on my own. My eyes still on the floor before the figure in front of me chuckles.

I figured it was too good to be true. I knew he'd make fun of me eventually. My tears threaten to spill from the corners of my eyes before he speaks again.

"You're a cutie. I'm Kim Taehyung by the way." My face blushes relentlessly. No one in my entire life has called me that. He has to be a liar. I don't look at his face. I didn't have a motive to.

All I know is that Kim Taehyung is a liar.

I do my best to contain the desire to cry as I push past him maybe I was meant to only suffer unaccompanied for the rest of my life.

"Hey!" He yells after me but I can't stop running.

Running from my thoughts.

Running from Taehyung.

Running from what seems to be a heavy thunderstorm brewing. I feel the wetness of the tiny rain drops on my cheeks.

Until I look at the sky and find it's a sunny day.

A dry, hot, sunny day.

My tears are streaming like a waterfall. I can't take much more of this today. 4 minutes. I have 4 minutes until I'm home. Until I can have some peace.

• time skip to next morning •

With tired eyes and a heavy body I drag myself out of my dark room and into the living area. The area where a family used to share laughs and holidays. Where they used to watch movies and cuddle on the couch.

One big happy family.

Keywords: used to.

My father doesn't come home. Ever. Doesn't feel like he has to. He's been pretty occupied with cheating on my mother with women he notices at the bars.

I regrettably have horrible role models. No exception for my material half either.

My mother is no different than him. She employs her evenings pretending to be a twenty year old. Going out every night. Getting drunk and doing drugs every night. Having random men at the house every night.

I lock myself in my room all the time to avoid the horror that has become my household. It used to be my safe place. My safe haven. My place away from the awful world. Yet now the only place I can call that is the comfort of my own room. I long all day to be between the four gray painted walls. I can't wait to leave this house. To finally be free from this town.

The house is cold and gloomy. No indication of anyone home. I determine to take this as my opportunity to try to eat. I've been trying to consume any type of food for three days. Every time I try it comes right back up with a burning sensation in the back of my throat.

I loathe eating.

My residence is filled with a dreary silence. As if a black cloud was only floating above my home. The only sounds lingering being the noise of my heavy breaths. My inhales are fast and sharp while my exhales are slow and deep.

The handle to the refrigerator is ice cold. Freezing almost. As if I'm not allowed to touch. Don't deserve to touch it. I debate with myself for a moment.

Do I eat just to throw it up?

Or do I not make myself go through that again?

I finally take one last breath before removing my hand and walking away. Ultimately deciding that I can wait another day. I'll eat another day.

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Rewriting bc I didn't like it. But better now. Now I can update this one more.✨