A beeping sound fills my ears, I sit up.
"Stop! You'll be okay..." someone says. I don't know who it is because my eyes are shut but I'm afraid to open them. "How did I get here" I say trying to stop crying. "You're sick madeline. And I'm sick of it. You need help and you're getting it" I open my eyes and it's Cameron. "I don't want to" I say back, he grabs both of my shoulders which makes my eyes open larger "MADELINE YOU'RE FUCKING SICK. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN DIE. LAST THING I NEED IS 'MATTHEW' <he makes quotations with his fingers as he gets up and whips his chair back> ' tO APEAR TO YOU IN THE CAR AND YOU FLY OFF OF THE ROAD AND DIE OR EVEN WORSE HE JUST TELLS YOU TO KILL YOURSELF! AND YOU WOULD GOD DAMN LISTEN TO HIM BUT GUESS WHAT... HE. IS. DEAD MADELINE. DEAD. GIVE IT UP, YOU WONT EVER SEE HIM UNLESS YOU DIE TOO. AND YOU'RE NOT DYING ANYTIME SOON." He lets go. "Leave right now." I say in a low angry voice. "Maddy". "Then you ask me why I'm suicidal, get-the-fuck- OUT" I shout again.
...
~
...
This day is already shitty and I don't even know if it's possible for it to get worse
"Madeline time for your last test" some girl says.
"Take a seat". "Why can't I just go home?" I ask the nurse. "Because we need to test you to see if hallucinations are over and done with." Thank God I'm good at playing it cool and pretending. We did a couple of these things but this was the last one. "How about now?" she holds up a picture of Matt and soon flips it. No she didn't. "What do you see?" Matt. I see matt. I see an alley. I see kisses. I see my baby who took his own life.
Tears fill my eyes and explode out. "Shh" The nurse says walking over. "What was it?" She asks. I wipe my tears. "Just the picture..." I lied. "I miss him." The truth ."You're free to go!" The nurse informs me and I thank her and I text Cameron.
(cam" Madeline ')
'Hoping onto the bus to home now'
"K! but uh"
'What Cam...'
"They're over" He replies 15 min. later
...The bus stops as I walk off the steps and look at the apartment
'Who's over?'
"The jacks"
'Fuck you Cameron. Fuck you'
...I'm alone outside down town la! Fuck my life.
"Madeline..."
"Maddy?"
"Omg Maddy?!"
"Hello????"
Why would he do this to me.
