(The book is going to make cam and any other characters look and act the same age as they do now, but they're age is going to be a bit older)
I walked the hallways in disgust. I took each breath for granted, I hate my life.
It's hard to just loose someone like that, that easily. Every corner I'd turn, I'd have visions of matthew standing there opening his arms waiting for me to prance into them. I miss feeling his gentle lips on mine, the way they connected, the way I felt free when my lips were hovering over his.
I walk into my room and kneel down with a rosary in my hand.
"Hey mom.. and matt." I let a tear slide down my cheek, remembering a few years ago when I was not alone, and had him to come over and cuddle, wipe my tears and make me, waffles..."I'm 19 today" I smile and wipe my eyes. "I remember sitting down a couple years back.. and reminding you im no longer bullied!" I sob and hiccup under my breath. "I lost the love of my life. I miss you. I'm bullied again now, people hurt me in actions and words. The words hurt more. people tell me that it's all my fault for Matthews death. That I made him miserable and that I should just kill myself." I have contemplated it.
Many times, but I'd rather meet matthew in heaven when my time comes, not when I make it come myself. "Well I'll see you both when the time comes, remember, I love you both" I wipe my tears again and get up.
"LETS GO BABY" Cam screams.
I grab my luggage and walk out looking back slowly at the empty room and empty house Cam and I are leaving behind. It's summer and cam said he was taking me to Cali so we can stay with his buds, to ya know, he said to get my mind off of a few things but i've been pretty iffy. Cam does not seem like my brother, he hasn't, i don't know, acted brotherly.... Maybe this is his way of escaping my Hell of a world. I just followed.
I also deactivated my instagram because I had many pictures on there of Matt and I. I'd rather have them in my phone then in public where all his fans became hating me some more. I mean Twitter is bad but not as bad as every other picture being of him, or us.
I follow behind Cam as the lady asks for our passports and ect. We board the plane and I take a seat and lean my head on Cam's shoulder as the flight takes off. I face him as a tear streams down my cheek, he looks down at me and whispers "you'll be alright I promise" I lean my head back the ledge and fall into the darkness I will not be able to escape. I wake up to a sudden loud voice, I awake in L.A. "Your flight has come to an end! Do not leave anything on this plane! Thanks for flying with us" blah blah blah. I grab my cary on and follow behind Cam once again, he stares at me, back at the window and starts to walk, I follow him, just like his puppy. It is so warm here and gorgeous, I am in a black crop top with a low v neck and blue high wasted jeans with a sliver of my slim tummy exposed.
Cam grabs my wrist and pulls me to a sign and a man that holds a sign that says 'N,G'. Cam greats the man, we sit in the car silently, "Hi, excuse me" I say from the back to the driver, "Do you mind turning on the radio?" I ask in a shallow voice. He says nothing but looks straight outside, I looked at Cam and furred my eyebrows, uh okay... I try again louder and he does so. I stare out the window for the rest of the drive and I watch the beautiful city zoom by me. Thoughts flow in, I'm pretty mad Cam took me back to Cali but I even predicted everything got better.
We reach an apartment. A huge one, wow its like a huge 3 floored suit. I walked in following behind Cam, ONCE AGAIN. Cam runs into the room and drops his cary-on in my arms, I put it on the floor, "NASH BUDDY!" Cam shouts, I gaze around the huge place to see a boy run down a flight of stairs and hop over another metal pole, "CAM" he shouts back and hugs him. "Holy shit long time no see bud," This, Nash boy says. He has messy hair, like long gross messy hair, tryin to pull off the freakin harry styles look. His eyes shine bright blue and has full lips, like Matt did but Matts were more pinkish red. Nash's are dull. He grins at me, "Nash this is my little sister Madeline" I smile faintly due to it being awkward. "Maddy, is fine.." I say. Nash stares at me bluntly scanning me from head to toe, he stands in ripped blue jeans, red and black checkered flannel with a white smooth tank under. I like his style but he is not, mine. Cameron runs to the second floor to check the place out, its full of boxes because its new. "Hey babe, I'm Nash, you're beautiful" he says charmingly. "Thanks, I know." I say and walk into the living room, check my phone, my eyes meet a picture of my angel on my lockscreen. I grab my luggage and reach into the front small pocket to find another phone.
What's this? Did Cameron pack this??
It's the phone I found in Cameron's room when he was away in Toronto for that one photoshoot a while ago. I never found out who's phone this belonged to...
I try unlocking it again, nothing works.. Can this be the reason Cameron brought me here? I overthink myself to sleep.
