looking up to the stars/tsukkyama

2.

i woke up, and take a look at my alarm, 6:25, still 5 minutes till it rings, waking me up, im surprised, this night i could sleep without waking up at the middle of the night, it was good i guess, my sleeping schedule was having a hard time.

shower, change clothes, breakfast, wash my teeth, the same shitty routine, im tired, i should get going, maybe ill foumd tadashi on the bus stop, and then walk together to school, holding hands, or listening to some good music.

i opened the door, a cold brezee hitting my face, making the tip of my nose freeze, this is annoying, theres cold, and no tadashi, where is him? is he that mad? im tired to look for him, im tired of everything.

i continue walking, on my way to school, should i go to school? theres a chhance tadashi is there, right? yes. i guess it is a chance.

lunch time. no tadashi, i need him, i need him calling my name, holding my cold hand warming it up with his, i need to count his freckles, i already know that they are 47 freckles in his face, 18 on his right cheek, 17 on his left, and 12 on his nose area, that was the last time, i counted them, normally they will appear more on his face with the pass of the time, but hes not here, and i cant count his little star dots again.

i heard the bell, i was lost on my thoughts, i felt a tear scaping my left eyes and rolling down my cheek, why am i crying? im tired of crying.

i get up, goung to class again, i turn around to see his empty seat, beside the window, he will usualky pecking out the window or looking at me, smiling. where is he?

schools over, thank god. i do my way back home, or.. should i go tadashis house? no. his mom probably dont want me there. i must just go home.

i got home, my mom waved at me, but im to tired to wave back, or say hi, i got into my room again.

i decided to shower, maybe i could sleep better after that.

entering the shower, i turned on the hot water, and wait till it warmed up, i started undressing, all my clothes on the floor, i took a step in, its been a while since i showered, i am not a dirty person, i just was way to tired, i still am, but a shower could help.

i felt my hair getting wet, and warm water running through all my body, i started scrubing myself with my hands, and i suddendly stoped, this remeber me of him too.

the way his hands were moving around my body that time, his face flushed, and kissing me, it was so special, i loved that moment, i was kissing back, getting more and more heated by the moment, when we. broke up the kiss, our eyes connected, we didnt need to say anything, the look in our eyes said how much we love each other.

i turned off the water, i need to stop thinking of him, hes okay, just resting in his house, he should tell me, or texte at least, anyways im not gonna pressure him.

its 4pm i have tasks to do, but im not doing them, again.

6pm i had just lay on bed the whole afternoon.

8pm its dark now, and theres. no. noice in the house, i think everyone is sleeping.

9pm im still on my bed, not able to move, or sleep, im really tired.

10pm im getting out of my house, i cant take this anymore.