ONE SHOTS

HYPOCRISY

I KNEW IT FROM THE START
11.15.2020

"If laughing solely is a trend right now, I bet everybody now is insane. That makes them cool and unique right? If so, then everybody would be unique. Then if everybody would be the same, where is the unique part of that?"

As controversial as it may sound, I came to realize that WAS true. Yes. Past tense 'was' is the perfect tense to it. Why would I use 'was' by the way if I realized it from the very start? As ridiculous as it may sound, people only acknowledges something if the presence of that sole thing doesn't exist anymore.  Pure dishonesty is that what makes them pathetic as he stated. At first I did not believe him. Considering he is a genius weirdo, no one would believe him--even me as his lover.

Who would even believe someone who had no experience when it comes to human interaction? Who would believe an introvert such as him? Who would believe someone who has no experience with and then spout nonsense? I bet no one. But then what he stated was again the truth and was TRULY true. No one believes something not until they see it with their own eyes. Even if the truth was shoved right onto their faces, they wouldn't budge a thing to believe it unless they see it.

No one believes him and even I, myself, doesn't believe him as well. He says the most ridiculous things that will still have to exist in this universe--at least that's what my average intellectual ability says.

Let me tell you how he criticized my essay in a split of a second. It must've hurt that someone disses you right on the spot without even acknowledging how hard you worked onto that. But maybe I somehow did deserve such critic, after all, it was somehow  a shameful thing as well. I may had worked hard on replicating mine,  the process of replication can be considered as a work right?

"If everybody plagiarizes someone's work, I bet William Shakespeare, Plato and Dante Alighieri would be resurrected from the dead and slap you for such shameful act. Is it really right to plagiarize someone's work just because you were plagiarized as well? How does that make you any different from that person? How is that even a justifying reason? Then you call yourself unique?"

For the general that would be so painful to hear. But as I reminisce it again and again, instead of frustration and anger--I only felt guilty and resentful even more. Nobody acknowledges they were wrong, since pride always gets in the way and they will never admit they were wrong in the first place. Why would they? It would only humiliate them even more. And so they say 'It's better to step on than to be stepped on'.

The day has come that I will be confronting him and breaking up with him. But what shook me the most is that how calm and collected he could be when I told him that we're breaking up. At first, I thought he doesn't have any feelings towards me and that the way he courted me was not the way I wanted it to be but I accepted it afterwards. Then I realized, I was just being desperate.

"Of course I knew from the start that we don't match. Not because I don't like you and not because you don't like me neither, but because we just don't understand each other. I bet you didn't like the way I courted you even though I'm filthy rich. Let me ask you again, do you even know what courtship means? In my opinion, I think the value of courtship would be getting to know the other party. Not to buy expensive, luxurious and useless things. You may reason out the trust and loyalty against me when I don't give what you want but if I do that, aren't I losing my human dignity as well? I might as well lose you than lose my dignity. Because if ever you are gone, at least I have my dignity. A relationship like that doesn't work properly--it's too simulated. How will you even survive life that way? But if it's the other way around, I bet I might commit suicide if you are to break up with me. If that happens, you might be drowning in your own conscience your whole life. Whether you like it or not, you would always knew that you will be the sole reason why I committed suicide."

Same length with a presidential speech right? But that sole speech made me realize how awful I am...or no. How awful people like are nowadays.

"If you knew from the start that we won't work out, why bother to court me and do those things?"

This time I am furious. Of course I would be. How could someone play somebody else's feelings? How could he deceive me?

"I wanted to try if I could make any difference, if I could make something impossible to possible. Truth to be told, yes I do love you the same way like those shojo mangas you were reading and like that Romeo and Juliet story you've always dreamed. Because every relationship is unique, I wanted to make one."

"Why are you so obsessed with uniqueness anyway?"

"Because if ever I am to marry you and take my vow, that would be the identity of us. I am not trying hard to be unique but this is just the way it is."

I blushed so hard when he mentioned marriage. I knew that was so sweet of him but my delirious thoughts and idiocy took over me.

"How could you deceive me?"

"I'm not deceiving you. It's the truth. It's reality. If you don't want to accept it, then you'll suffer. Let's say I dated you out of pity. And then once again, I am breaking up with you out of pity."

I wanted to mock him. I wanted to cry but somehow I can't. My whole body felt like cramping and I feel dizzy. Is this what they call slap of reality? How lucky could I be? This guy is the human form of reality. How could I date someone when I am not even a millimeter close to his sense of reality?

That's how life goes on. The moment I lose him, was the moment my eyes were opened to grasp the reality in front of me. He knew that I will be able to realize. He knew... He always had knew it.

He had it coming.

"People who even can't be honest to theirselves have no right to accuse me of being deceiving. That is just pure hypocrisy. You're being a real-shit hypocrite. Truth hurts doesn't it? It stings a lot especially if you are a hypocrite. I don't want to consent you since people like you need a real slapping. I don't want to offend you since I truly admire you but I can't help the consequences of this. I just wanted you to be honest with yourself, because at the end of the day, it is only you who will gain and suffer from it."

"I sound boring, aren't I? Especially if you don't understand what I am talking about."

They say regret always occur at the end. No one believes the truth unless seen by yourself. And that once you knew the truth, you will never be happy again. Once you mature you will never be able to find happiness because you've always knew what will happen and what's for the best. But the whole thing is not a bad thing you know, what he only wanted to say was to live the life honestly. No matter how impulsive it may be, as long as it is honest and you're happy about it, that's life. If it goes the other way around, it is still life.

He's not mature, he's just practical. After all he knew it from the start. But what's the difference? Isn't it a waste of time? It's like tossing a one sided coin in which you've always knew what the outcome would be but still insist to at least 'try' to know and make a difference. What difference are you talking about if the judgement was already casted upon one side? What other coin are you talking about?

That's right. Pure hypocrisy.