ONE SHOTS

PHILIA

LEAVING FOR GOOD
10-02-2020

When people leave, is it always for the best? Or it's because they are destined to leave? If people leave because they've been hurt all along, does that make them a coward or are they called 'strong'? If leaving solves problems, then why most people stay if the the situation they're in is not worth staying? Why do they leave when the situation needs them the most?

Do they stay because they're strong in that situation or leave because they're afraid of the current situation and they don't want to get stuck?

"Why are people mostly like that? What do you think, Zarina?" he asked me as if he doesn't know what the answer is. He asked me like I know the answer but I knew deep inside, he is just testing me. Why would he test me in the first place by the way? Ah yes. It's because that's the only thing I am good at---at testing and answering things. There's nothing new about that.

"Who knows? It always depends on them. That's their choice, and consequences always show you if you did the right choice or not." I answered firmly, my voice so hard that it almost sounded sarcastic. He knitted his eyebrows as he tried to analyze what I said. Or maybe not analyzing since there is no way he could still analyze what I said because I made sure that I said it in the most  direct way possible. Why would he still analyze something that even a monkey could understand? Is he that stupid?

"Why do you always say, 'it depends on them'?" he shot back and it was my turn now to knit my eyebrows. Why would he ask something he already knew what the answer was from the very beginning? Is it now the time for me to analyze what he wanted to ask all along? Is there some hidden meaning behind these questions? Or perhaps...

"Why? Do you think of leaving without giving a proper goodbye without any good reason?" I fired back and he was taken back with the words I spat. I am definitely certain that he was surprised---after all, I've never been blunt to him. His eyes darkened and if I am able to see a black aura to define how pissed he is, then can I? Of course he'll be pissed, because he knew that it is quite mortifying that I found out what he's planning before he could even realize it himself. Or was I wrong and I am just assuming things? Why are we talking about this topic by the way?

Ah yes. It's because of how he was left along without any reason and without proper goodbye at all that he began wondering why people leave. But how ironic that through his questions and actions, he wanted to do the same as well. It seemed that the quote 'To see is to believe' is a very sturdy one on its own way. If misused, it can be a powerful weapon that can be shot back to you. After all, we don't believe if we can't see it for ourselves. No matter how other people tells you what the outcome might be or what the outcome will be, we never believe because we didn't experience it for ourself. In short, ignorance always lead you to your own regrets.

"I'm right Jake, ain't I?" he remained silent and said nothing for a while. The deafening silence only made the tension rise higher that I presumed to raise further more.

"You don't know what I feel so don't talk to me that way. So what if I leave? Pray tell, you wouldn't even care." after he spat out those words he stormed out. Did I just said something hurtful to him? I was just being honest. I do care.

Care? A very dreadful word coming next to the word 'trust'. A mistaken word before it might screw everything up. Like literally, the word 'care' fucks everything up if misused. Words are easy to manipulate and if manipulated just the way you wanted it, you might even kill someone with it. You might even offend someone just by saying 'I don't care' or let someone if we raise the intensity of how we rudely say it to someone. But who cares? You could always lie when you say you 'care'.

Two days had passed and still no messages from him. Did he even considered me as a friend or at least an acquiantance? A colleague maybe? Now who doesn't care about someone now? Even with that silent treatment he gave me and the cold shoulder he'd always do everytime we are at this situation, it only lasts a day. But now I am in day two, I can't help myself from worrying. After all, I knew that he only said that because he was pissed. I understand those kind of people. I sent a message saying I'm sorry for being insensitive

When my phone buzzed with a new message displayed coming from him. My heart raced and my guts started to churn, and when I feel this way... I've always proved that this is a bad feeling that I can't ignore.

«People leave not because they are a coward and not because they are strong enough to handle the situation. They leave because they don't have any other choice but to leave.»

I heaved a sigh. I see...

People leave not because they don't have a choice, but their only choice is to leave. And leaving for good is sometimes the best way to keep things intact. They leave not because they are a coward and not because they are strong. They just leave because they are destined to and no matter how they wanted to stay, they just can't. They leave when the situation needs them the most because even if they stay, they can't do anything about it.

Leaving is a choice after all.