A Collection of One-Shots [Requests Open]

Boredom and Blow Jobs [Alan Ashby] for SleepingWithPizza

DON'T GET SCARED BY THE TITLE!  This isn't going to be smut.  Blow jobs are just kind of mentioned a lot in the story.  I just... I promise that it's nothing bad.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy!  Sorry I didn't have these done sooner, but this week has just been crazy.

~Grace

PS: There is mention of a website that ruins your life.  Read with caution.

PPS: If you do not know what 'shipping' is, there is a video to the right of the screen that explains it . . .  Well, more or less.

~*~*~*~

"Josie . . ." 

I hear Alan's whine as I try to finish my paperwork and he sits on the couch half-heartedly watching "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."  I know the only reason he's watching it is because Zooey Deschanel is in it.

Rolling my eyes, I look over at him.  "What the hell do you want, you man-child?" I ask with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm bored."  His voice is nasally and as annoying as he could possibly make it.

"Not my problem," I huff, trying to get my work done as fast as possible.  It's almost painful doing what I need to do.  I didn't realize there would be so much math involved in being the merch girl.  I thought I would just have to sell shit.  But apparently not.  And as math was never my best subject in school, this was evern more excruciatingly painful.

Alan got up from his spot on the couch and sat in the chair across from me at the table.  "Please, Josie.  Just take a break and entertain me.  I feel like I'm about to implode."

Groaning, I set down my pencil and calculator.  "Fine," I sigh, running my hands through my long hair.  "How can I entertain you?"

"Well, a blow job would be very much appreciated," he says slyly, putting his hand on my thigh.

"Yeah, how about no?" I grumble, flicking his forehead and going to settle where he was only moments before.  "But if you really want one, go ask Austin.  I'm sure he'd be more than willing."

Oh, Tumblr.  I thank you for all your Austlan shipping.

"But you give the best ones . . ."  He is back to whining, but that's not why I'm upset.

Frowning, I punch him as he comes to sit beside me.  "How the hell would you know?"

Alan scratches his head and gives me a sheepish grin.  "Well, before Jackson broke up with you, we were just hanging out.  Ya know, talking and shit.  Probably waiting for you to finish getting ready.  Whatever.  And . . . he might've said some things . . . and I might've punched him."

My eyes grow wide as I remember that night.  I was upstairs finishing up my makeup and stuff.  I remember being really happy because it was Jackson and mine's first anniversary.  I remember hearing shouts and grunts and at first I thought one of the guys had a lady friend over.  But then there was the slamming of the door and Alan was calling my name. I remember walking down the stairs to find Alan with a split lip and Jackson MIA.

"That's what happened?" I yell, putting my head in my hands and groaning.  God, Alan's despicable.  "No wonder he thought I was cheating on him with you!"

I feel Alan's head leave my shoulder, where it had just been resting.  "Is that why he broke up with you?"

I silently nod.

"Aw, I'm sorry, Josie," Alan moans, rubbing his face.  "I didn't mean to break you guys up.  I just . . .  I got so angry because he was talking about you like that and . . ."

Alan trails off awkwardly, leaving me to wonder what he wanted to say.  I am about to ask him about it, but before I could even open my mouth, Alan is talking again.

"Did you ever tell him about the time where we got so wasted an fucked in Austin's bunk?"  The question is asked suddenly and I'm sure that if I'd had a beverage in my mouth I would've done a spit-take.

"Wow, way to be blunt," I say dryly, still shocked.  But I nod all the same.  "It . . . might've come up once."

"Oh, my God, is there a story?" he asks.  When I don't answer, he yells excitedly.  "Yes, there is!  Now you have to tell me!  What'd he do?  What'd he say.  What'd you say?  Oh, God, this is gonna be good . . ."

Rolling my eyes--but giggling all the same--I cave in.  "We were fighting about something and . . . God, I don't even remember what it was.  But it basically turned into a screaming insult match.  And one of mine might've been something along the lines of 'At least Alan can get me there'."

"Jesus," is all he says.  There is a long, extremely uncomfortable bout of silence.  Finally, it is broken by Alan, who lets out a cheer.

"Fuck yeah!" he screams, raising his fists in the air in accomplishment.  "I'm the only one who can make you come!"

My face turns beet-red, I'm sure.  "Oh, my God, Alan!  Shut the fuck up!  There are still people on this bus!"

I try to hurriedly cover his mouth with my hand, but he knocks it out of the way and I lurch forward, my chest colliding with his.  He falls backward, his head hitting the armrest and I go sprawling on top of him, my face winding up only a few centimeters away from his.  His deep blue eyes meet my bright green ones, my dark hair creating a curtain that surrounds us and separates us from the rest of the world.

"Well this is a very compromising position," Alan jokes, trying to ease up the tension that is forming.

"What if I said that Jackson didn't break up with me, but I broke up with him?" I whisper suddenly.  I'm still on top of Alan, but I don't want to move.  "And what if I broke up with him because I maybe sorta have feeling for someone else?"

Alan gives me a huge smile, his finger--that were lying stationary on my back before--trail burning patterns wherever the touch my skin as he roams up and down my back.  "And would this person possibly be me?"

I give him a shocked look.  "H-how did you know?"

Alan rolls his eyes.  "This isn't some cheesy romance novel or something, Josie.  Why the hell else would you bring it up?"

I think about that for a moment before nodding in agreement.  "Well I guess that makes sense."

"Of course it does," Alan says while laughing.

Before I can react, Alan's lips are upon mine in a soft kiss.  His lips are warm and inviting and I almost whimper when he pulls away.

"Okay, okay, I get it.  You have a thing for me.  But that's no reason to attack my mouth."  I laugh at Alan's stupidity and sit up so he can get more comfortable.  When he finally does, I lay back, my back resting against his chest.

Austin appears in the small hallway by the bunks and looks at us lovingly.  "Aw, does this mean you guys are together?  You're so cute."

Alan kisses my head and I can feel him nod behind me.  "Yeah.  But sorry bro.  Looks like you can't give me blow jobs anymore."

Austin gasps and dramatically clutches at his chest.  "Oh, how will I go on?"

We all laugh and Austin joins us on the couch, my feet ending up resting on his lap.  We finish watching "Hitchhiker's Guide," but we all become thoroughly confused throughout the duration of the movie.

 "You're all mine, Josephine," Alan whispers in my ear as a whale falls down to Earth on the screen in front of us, confusing us all even more.

"And you're all mine, Mr. Ashby," I whisper back not bothering to hide the big smile on my face.