Dark Sensations

Distractions

The little amount of sleep I got the previous night was wearing on me. Between the job and the sudden appearance of Ștefan, sleep was the last thing on my mind. I knew if I fell into a peaceful slumber, it would eventually be riddled with nightmares.

How he managed to find me was still in the forefront of my mind. Ștefan had never touched me in an intimate manner when I was with him as a child, but he did in a violent one. At the mere thought of it, the brand on my hip began to burn, as if it remembered the minute the hot metal pressed into my flesh scorching it.

I closed my eyes from the view outside of my bedroom window and willed myself to lock all that shit back up in the box I had originally trapped it in. Even thirteen years later, I still remembered that night.

Flashback

My feet pressed firmly against the marble floor in the dining room as I watched those around me at the table. This was my birthday dinner, yet none here were my friends. An entire year had passed since my eyes laid on my parents and part of me was glad for it.

Yet here I was wishing they would show up and whisk me away from this prison. I didn't want to be here, and the few times I managed to try and escape only urged me further to leave. Childish mistakes, Ștefan had called them. Mistakes he was quick to try and rectify.

It wasn't anything my parents hadn't already done to me. It still didn't make it any better.

When my parents would hit me, they tried to instill that it was for my own good, that I was at fault and they were merely trying to teach me. Even being thirteen now, I knew it was bullshit. However there was still a part of me that loved them. Maybe that was the only kind of attention they knew from their own parents.

With Ștefan it felt more like enjoyment. It wasn't that I didn't believe my own parents didn't enjoy it in some twisted, fucked up way, but there was something different about it with the man.

The laughter around me pulled me out of my thoughts and I idly picked up my fork and pushed at the food still on my plate. I didn't have an appetite, but I could at least pretend I did.

"So, stea mică (little star), are you enjoying your birthday?"

I looked up and Ștefan and mustered a smile. I had awoken to gifts littering the living room, all labeled for me. Birthdays were never really celebrated in my family, and so to get so many things felt foreign to me.

"Yes." Was my one word reply and I looked back down to my plate, but not before I saw the frown etch over his lips.

I wasn't going to pretend to be grateful for something that I didn't want or ask for, no matter the price tag.

"I have one more gift for you."

Looking up at him, I placed the fork down and started to stand up. "May I be excused?"

Ștefan just looked at me, reaching for his glass that held an amber color liquid and brought it to his lips.

We just stayed there looking at each other and he gave a slight nod of his head. It was then I realized that he felt embarrassed in front of his friends.

As soon as I pushed in my chair and began to leave, he called out to me.

"Go to the sitting room and wait for me. We're almost done here and then I will join you for your last gift."

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I was unsure of how much time had passed before Ștefan's tall intimidating figure appeared in the door, nursing on that same glass of rich amber liquid.