Little Montgomery: A Station 19 Story

Chapter Eleven: Panic Attack

*time skip one month*

Hartley's POV:

After the date Nick and I had at the park he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes, so we've been dating for about a month now. He hangs out with me at the station sometimes after school, and Travis and Emmett love him. Today we're in my room preparing for the history presentations we have to give tomorrow. I'm getting really stressed out because I can't get my presentation right, I keep forgetting things or stumbling over my words.

Hartley: Okay, Battle of Yorktown happened...I don't know any of this. I swear I'm trying so hard, I just can't get it. I'm gonna fail tomorrow. In front of the whole class. Oh god, I really don't want to do this.

Nick: Hey, it's gonna be okay. You know this. I know you do. You're probably just tired, let's take a break.

Hartley: Okay.

We watch some TV for an hour before he has to go home. After he leaves I study until about 1 am. I really can't fail this.

*the next day*

Nick and I are in history class, and it's almost my turn to present. I honestly have no idea how this is going to go. When the teacher says my name I stand up and walk towards the front of the class. My hands are shaking so much I almost drop my notecards.

Hartley: 1781. The Battle of Yorktown. This battle was fought for...um.

I look down at my notecards but my vision gets blurry and I can barely read them.

Hartley: It was fought at...

I see everyone staring at me and suddenly I can't breathe. I run out of the classroom and into the hallway. I don't even notice I'm crying until I feel the tears on my face. I can't breathe, and I can't stop shaking.

Nick(running out of the classroom): Hey, Hartley. What's wrong?

Hartley(turning around to face him): I can't breathe. I think it's happening again. I c-can't breathe.

Nick(hugging Hartley tightly): Hey, shh, shh, it's okay. You're okay. You're safe. I've got you. I've got you. Hold onto me. I'm not letting go.

I slowly feel my breathing return to normal as he talks. The sound of his voice calms me down. When I can finally breathe again I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest, breathing in the smell of the detergent he uses. 

Nick: Are you okay?

Hartley: Yeah, I-I'm okay now.

Nick: Do you want to get out of here?

Hartley: Yeah.

He picks up both our backpacks. I didn't realize he had grabbed them. We get in his car and he drives us to my house. He drops our backpacks by the front door and throws his keys into the bowl on the foyer table.

Nick: Go sit on the couch, I'll make us some tea.

Hartley: Okay.

Nick's POV:

When Hartley goes into the living room I brew two cups of chamomile tea. While it's seeping I call Travis to tell him what happened.

(on the phone)

Travis: Hello?

Nick: Travis?

Travis: Nick? Is everything okay?

Nick: Um, kind of. Not entirely. Something happened during Hartley's presentation in history today. I think she had a panic attack.

Travis: Is she okay?

Nick: Yeah, she's alright now. I think I calmed her down.

Travis: What did you do when it happened?

Nick: I just hugged her, I didn't know what else to do.

Travis: You did the right thing. Look, just make sure she's okay. Don't leave her alone. I'll be home around 10.

Nick: Okay, thanks Travis.

I hang up and bring the cups of tea to the living room where Hartley is. I sit next to her on the couch and take her hand in mine.

Hartley: I'm sorry you had to see that.

Nick: Does that happen a lot? The panic attacks?

Hartley: Usually I can stop them before they get bad enough for someone to notice. They started when I was in a really bad foster home when I was four. They've gotten worse recently, though.

Nick: Why didn't you tell me?

Hartley: I didn't want you to think I was damaged. Or broken. I know it sounds stupid, and desperate, but I didn't want you to look at me the way everyone else does when they see me. The real me. For the first time. People always leave when they do. I haven't gotten very many fairy tales in my life. I wanted to keep this one for a little longer.

Nick: I see you. I've always seen you. And I don't see someone broken, or damaged. You are the bravest, most kind-hearted person I've ever met. You deserve a fairytale, and as long as you let me I will give you that.  Hartley, I really like you, and nothing is going to change that. I promise, I'm not going anywhere.

Hartley: Promise?

Nick: Promise.

Hartley: Pinky promise?

She holds out her pinky towards me, and all I can do is think about how much I love this girl.

Nick(laughing): Pinky promise.

Nick: You're a dork.

Hartley: But I'm your dork.

Nick: That's the way I like it.

Hartley: Me too...Nick?

Nick: Yeah?

Hartley: Can you hold me?

Nick: Of course.

I pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her. I feel her relax in my arms and within a few minutes we've both fallen asleep.