𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 ||𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚||

3. blossoms

those who had their heart broken once, their flower petals ripped away from them can bloom once again, they just need some warmth and light from the sun.

atsumu bloomed too early. way too early for his own liking, and so did his brother. while the two laughed and joked around discussing their likes and crushes, they never expected to fall into a turmoil of drama and heartbreak so early. atsumu was just a young flower and yet...

if atsumu was a flower, he would be a sunflower - or at least he thinks so himself. he may seem glorious and strong, standing above everyone while providing joy - but in reality he was fragile and he relied on things to make himself thrive, whether it is certain people around him or his favorite things - he relied on them and that became his biggest obstacle.

at first, he was fine with his brother, a person who has to stay next to him no matter what - as twins they felt a connection to protect each other, but as he bloomed early, he found himself in need of a different kind of connection. not a brotherly one, but rather a romantic one. and so what if he was young, he felt mature enough to look for a partner. and... as he explored more of himself he realized his attractions were not what they traditionally were supposed to be. 

it didn't take him a while to accept that, so what if he is different from others, what matters is that he is true to himself. plus, perhaps being like this would bring him some sort of a deeper relationship. his brother, osamu, was not far behind and before they knew it, the two were discussing their sexualities together with cups of tea in their hands. late night talks took a turn they didn't expect but appreciated. it felt good to be open.

and that's exactly how atsumu was. open. he never hid it, not from his friends or parents, he was confident in himself, he was blooming and growing even taller as the sun kept shining, and just as he thought the sun was diminishing - he set his eyes on someone. that someone was a boy from another class, someone who knew about atsumu's pansexuality and osamu's asexuality. he was one of the few to talk to them without any underlying tone. 

atsumu could feel it, he had what he needed. like a sunflower, he leaned closer and closer to him, and for a moment there it seemed like the other was leaning towards atsumu too. he was there all the time atsumu needed him, he was at their house after school, he was there on their trips... he was the sun atsumu needed, even though he could feel a strange coldness emanating from him -  he chose to ignore it.

he chose to ignore it.

and that was his mistake.

atsumu was open. atsumu was loving. atsumu was kind. atsumu was... pure. untainted. without any knowledge of hardships - so what happened that one fateful evening brought upon clouds and storms in his world, it ripped away his petals.

it was a normal evening. atsumu and the boy he loved oh so dearly were walking home in the same direction. it had already been a year how atsumu found him and he wanted to move closer, he wanted them to be exclusive. he wanted to be loved in a different way. so he said it all, he spilled his feelings out without stopping, he told the other everything about how he felt and what he wanted, how he saw him and why he needed him - but again he was an early bloomer - not everyone was ready for ting that he was ready for.

the boy was. he had already bloomed.

but it wasn't atsumu he wanted. it was his twin brother. he started saying some words, some strings of sentences that atsumu couldn't quite catch because all that he could hear was "i don't want you, i don't like you, your brother is better, i don't love you...". 

it felt as if the boy had ripped all his petals and stomped on them, as if the sun suddenly hid behind the clouds depriving atsumu of the warmth that he needed and wanted - his seemingly perfect inner world started crumbling. his openness turned into fear. his ability to love everyone turned into commitment issues. his kindness turned into misunderstood actions. 

he didn't know what to do or say.

the boy had long left him standing alone, yet he couldn't move. 

osamu tried to fix him, but his brotherly love simply wasn't enough. the boy was turned away by osamu too and so the only sun atsumu had was gone. his smile slowly faded. the once bright atsumu was nothing but a vacant body missing its soul, boarded up and closed away from everyone.

atsumu was an early bloomer. he was a flower that showed it's beauty too early.

but a flower that had it's petals ripped away can still bloom. 

so when atsumu first laid his eyes on that boy on the court. when he saw that fluffy orange hair bounce every time he took a step... and when he saw his bright smile - it's like the rain inside him stopped. 

and as he watched him play on the other side of the court it was like the sun was peeking from behind the clouds. the flower inside of him that had seemingly wilted slowly rose up to the sky again - it longed for that sun. he was the one. he was truly the one. and yet, he had the same coldness to him at first just like the boy who had once broken his heart.

his warm gaze was not meant for atsumu, it was meant for his setter. his eyes sparkled with all their might every time he looked at him and atsumu wished he would look at him the same way someday. he learned from his past mistakes. this time - he wasn't letting his sun go.

even if it took him years, he would still chase his sun.

he wasn't giving up on hinata either.

so when they stepped off the court and atsumu found himself almost naturally approaching hinata he was blown away by the warmness he emitted right off the bat. he wasn't the athletic monster that atsumu saw on the court, he was a different human being - his smile was brighter than all the stars in the sky and he had this aura around him that just makes you... fuzzy inside.

he wasn't giving up.

no, never.

he chose to pursue.

and his choices eventually paid off.

and it was so fulfilling

and so sweet.