Thirty and Single.

Chapter 4.

I drove home with a lump in my throat and a dull ache in my chest. The lights of Hillwood blurred past my windshield, but all I could think was: Maybe I'll never find someone who wants me the way I want to be wanted. The kind of love I crave isn't casual. It's not fleeting. It's not "I just want to have fun."

I want someone who chooses me with his whole heart and right now, that feels like too much to ask.

As I turned onto my street, the soft amber glow of my porchlight welcomed me, but it didn't warm me. Not tonight. I parked the car, killed the engine, and stepped out into the quiet night.

That's when I saw him.

Colton, my new neighbour, was lounging on his porch, nursing a bottle of beer. He looked comfortable, relaxed. A golden retriever of a man with a lion's quiet strength. As soon as he saw me, he lifted his beer and called out with a crooked smile.

"Hey, neighbour. Had a great day?"

I paused, the weight of the night still heavy on my shoulders. I wanted to scream, to cry, to rage against the universe for giving me another dead-end date with a man who didn't know what he wanted. I wanted to tell Colton to mind his own business.

But instead, I swallowed my frustration.

"Yup," I lied flatly, "it was great."

I rummaged through my bag for my keys. Just as I inserted them into the lock, his voice floated over again.

"Hey... if you're not too tired, want to join me for a cold one?"

I turned slightly. He wasn't being pushy, just hopeful. But tonight, I wasn't in the mood for conversation especially not with a man who probably didn't know my name.

"Sorry. I need to get some rest. Got work early in the morning," I said, trying to sound polite.

He nodded, still smiling. "Alright. If you change your mind, I'll be right here."

I slipped inside and shut the door. The silence hit me like a wave. I kicked off my heels and made my way to the bedroom, peeling out of my clothes and slipping into my favourite oversized T-shirt. I laid down, willing myself to sleep, but my mind refused to shut down.

I stared at the ceiling.

Why did Wyatt even go on that date if he wasn't serious? Why do I keep attracting people who only want temporary things?

And then, unexpectedly, my thoughts drifted to Colton, his voice, his smile, the way he didn't press me when I said no. He had been gentle. Calm. And something about that stuck with me.

Ten minutes later, I found myself putting on a hoodie and slipping out the door.

Porchlight

Colton was still there, sitting with one leg resting on the edge of the chair, bottle in hand. The night air was crisp but pleasant, carrying the scent of early summer and cut grass.

Without a word, I walked over and sat in the empty chair next to him.

He didn't look surprised.

"I knew you'd come back," he said with a smirk, handing me a beer.

I took it silently, popped it open, and took a sip. The bitterness cut through the heaviness in my chest like a lifeline.

"It seems your day wasn't actually that great," he said gently.

I exhaled. "Yeah. Not great."

"Work?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No. A date."