PuppyHoney // Jookyun ✔️

89🍀

-JOOHEON !!

I scream when I wake up and quickly look to the side and not seeing my boyfriend I start looking around frantically.  I feel my breathing quicken, my heart beating like crazy.  He left me, really left me?  He was here tonight.  I remember that.  Frightened, he gets up from the bed and at the same time the door opens and he falls through it. he quickly comes over and hugs me.

-I was just in the kitchen for some juice-he says, soothing me

-You are here, you are

-I am Wolf, they all are

-Everybody?

-Wonho and Hyungwon arrived about twenty minutes ago

- Because me? - I ask what is he smiling at me

-No honey, in fact, they are all in the living room, do you want to go down to them? -And I'm nodding my head-So let's go-grabs my hand and we leave the room

After this action, in the morning Minhyuk took me to his room and listened to everything.  I told him everything I had told Jooheon, making my brother cry.  He apologized for not noticing anything, and I immediately told him it was my fault.  I didn't say anything to anyone and didn't show anything.  I cried like a little baby all our conversation.  At one point, hugging his chest, I fell asleep tired of it all.  And now?  Now I stand still watching my hyungs laugh merrily and feel Jooheon squeeze my hand.

-O Kyuna you slept-asks Kihyun seeing me and I don't know what to do, what to say because the only thing I feel is one big sadness and regret.  I made them sad, worried, and they keep doing that-Changkyun?

-I'm sorry-I say and bow-I'm sorry for what I did to you-I get up and quickly feel like someone is taking me in his arms

-Stop-I  can hear my brother's voice and I try to smile at him-How are you feeling? Sleep helped?  Maybe you're hungry huh?

-I'm not hungry Hyuk

-Okay, but come sit down- he says and judges me next to Shownu

-You sleep on your hand, right?  Minhyuk give me the first aid kit-he says, taking my hand in his and pulls my patch-Oh Changkyuna-he looks up so that he looks straight into my eyes

-I'm sorry

-You're fine

-First aid kit,-replies Minhyuk, looking at my wrist, clenching his fist.  And come on, there's a smile on his face, I know it's just appearances

-Don't do that-I say to him

-What-he asks me

-This-points at him with hands-Don't pretend, not in front of me.  I remind you that I know you better than you know yourself and I know what you are feeling now.

-If you know, why do you pretend that everything is fine?

-Minhyuk-growls Jooheon

-Because I have worried you all enough already-I say and tear out my hand from Shownu feeling the burning sensation-Sorry hyung reflex

-Nothing happened-he says, applying the ointment-Don't stick it up, let breathing

-Since we're all here, maybe we'll talk like that from the heart, so? -Hoseok scoffed- I.M?

-Everything happened at once-he admits, sighing and feeling his hand on my shoulder-My treatment, lack of sleep, or rather nightmares that still exist., Plus people hate me. Shit, I would never have thought that something like this could work for me, but when I saw these news that I didn't deserve to be with Joo and to be part of the Team  with you, I started to think more about it

-You felt that they were right-asks me Kihyun

-I felt that there was something in it, I started watching old video with TeamMonsta how happy you were then without getting to know me, then I watched pictures of our Team-I say looking at Minhyuk-I saw these photos, movies when I was not there and I was like"They are happy. Happy without me. "I watched things like that every day when I was alone. I tortured myself several times every day. I tortured myself with pictures and videos of Jooheon before getting to know me. Especially one of them

- What? - they ask me

-Jooheon before and during a relationship with Changkyun.  They showed a happy moment before getting to know me and then a similar situation with me where it was obvious that he was not very happy with my person.  And how stupid I was started to believe it

-Wolf-began crouching in front of me, but I cut him off

-Yesterday in the morning it was bad with me, so as soon as I could I left my house to my apartment. Talking to the doctor didn't help me, probably because I didn't tell him anything. I lied to him. He prescribed medication for me and, seeing no possibility of talking to me, left.  After talking to Jooheon I went to Ajussi and seeing him there, I ordered my favorite dish and soju. I shouldn't drink and I drank two bottles there.  Later I went to the playground.  This playground.  I mentioned my dad and how he was swinging me high. I jumped off the swing and felt a pain in my knee which made it more manageable.  On my way back, I entered the store, bought more bottles and returned home. I noticed a prescription I shuffled and somehow my thoughts went back to two years ago and then it all went so fast.  Break the bottle and glass and do these wounds.  Only after taking them did I realize what happened.

-Then you called me like that?- he asks and I nod my head

-I got some kind of panic attack after that.  I started to think about all of you. I could see Minhyuk crying two years ago in the hospital when I wanted to jump. I saw Hyungwon and Shownu come up worried every day just to see if I wanted to do it again. I saw mine of  Wonho when i  telling him about it in the park, Kihyun during our night conversation and at the end I saw your red crying eyes - I say crying at Joo

-Changkyunie-says Shownu. -First, your healing is still going on, and it really won't be over in a month.  It takes time and on this more important matter, understand that our life does not exist without you

-I grew up with you Kyunie-Minhyuk began-you are my friend, brother and most importantly you are the most important person in my life. I love you no matter what you do. Are you afraid I would leave you alone with all this? Never in my life.

-Same for me and I know I can say yes to everyone in this room,-says Hoseok

-I already told you that no matter what I will be with you-says Jooheon-I love you and I don't even want to think about my life without you, so please don't do something like that, never do it right again?

- I promise that I will never hurt myself like this again and - I tell - I'm really sorry

-Do not apologize, just remember that in this world you have your hyungs who love you the most in the world and will not let anything happen to you-said Shownu-All six of us are proud of how you manage and how you opened up to us today .You are part of our life and neither of us want you to disappear remember that right?

-Okay hyung-I say, cuddling up to him and he hugs me-Thank you. Thank you for being there and for staying

-And we will stay forever-they say, and I just burst into tears, touched by, and I hear Shownu laugh

-Oy kid, you mine-says, hug me-Come on, cry as much as you want, spill everything

And with these words,I just continues to cry. Snuggled into the body of the eldest, feeling that everyone is hugging me and smiling at me. This is home, right?  This is family no?  This is where I belong with these six.  The six best hyungs in the world.  My hyung's.