My Secret Marriage

chapter 35

Sadhvi's pov:

I just closed my eyes feeling frightened..... I don't want to lose them ever......

In my almost 20 years life these three people are the ones who are really close to my heart...... Sometimes I feel they are more than my family.

Because....... They were the reason why I am dealing with all the insecurities which doesn't seem to leave me alone now.
But these people were the one who embraced me even with all the insecurities. They never left me or snapped at me.

Because I know sometimes I am hard to deal with. For people close to me..... I will open up. I fear that they won't like the real me. So I just stop my self from growing closer to them.

They are the closest people for me but I cannot say that they know the real me......

I fail to voice out my opinions most of the times.

Sometimes it is like I am not close to them and I don't know how to bring out my voice to say I don't agree with or anything.

And if they are the closer ones I don't want to hurt them by voicing out my opinions. I feel like why not adjust a little.

I know even if it means a lot to me I will be living my life adjusting.

At those times I myself feel like a fool. But at any cost I don't want to distance my self from my close ones for any matter.

This is what I am. But I always wanted my husband to know the real me.....

Who like to pull legs of others, who is loud which is known by almost none.

Even with my friends I am a calm person..... Who is closed of.

I talk to them.... Take their suggestions, give them suggestions but it is only when I feel I am no where near hurting them.

Because I know sometimes we may not have any intentions of hurting people...... But unknowingly our words does that. Because I am one of the victims for that.

When I was in school I had another close friend other than Geetha. Her name is Swetha.....

I think you guys know that I was bullied in school. Not like physical one more like mentally .

It was body shaming to be specific......

She was closer to me after Geetha.... But after listening all other classmates mocking me for being plump and dark skinned, even she started that. I know she was good at heart and not meant to hurt me.... She did that while laughing. May be she thought I would take it as fun....

But it was not fun for me.... It was a torture. I stopped talking to her..

May be she realized her mistake, she even apologized. But I can't go back to time.

So we both break of.... But I said I forgive her than.

May be I lied to her then... But now I really forgive her.

So I know Swetha did not want our friendship to end.... But I cannot forget things she said, so I try my best not to hurt anyone close to me.

I don't know when tears started falling from my eyes...

I heard gasps and opened my eyes and rubbed of my tears using my palms.

I saw that they all are looking worriedly at me.

"I am sorry Sadhvi..... I am just upset that you choose not to say us about what was going on in your life.

But never in this world I meant to hurt you.... "Akki exclaimed and hugged me.

I hugged her back and separated from her saying
"No... I am the one who is sorry. You did not hurt me, I thought I hurt you.... "

She gave me a pretty smile and said
"OK now we are okay right?.... Now fill us with the information of your husband or should I start calling him jeeju. "She winked while saying last sentence.

I started blushing....

"I already started calling him jeeju. "said the one and only Geetha and she even showed her tongue to others as if she won something.

So childish.....

"OK we missed her marriage you don't have to rub that fact on our faces. "said Swapna.

Even I glared at Geetha..... Already they were upset, I don't want to make things worse.

"OK now stop guys and you Savi tell me about jeeju. "Akki literally ordered me.

I don't mind....she was always the demanding one.

"His name is Siddarth....Dad Neeraj, mom niyati, sister Priya..... He is from Hyderabad.

He is currently studying 4th year of MBBS...... In six months he will graduate. "I completed saying about him.

"You missed the part that he is our senior and Priya is our junior. "Geetha stated.

They seemed shocked at the fact that Siddarth is from our college.

"Yeah.... I forgot. "I said while place my hair behind my ears.... It was disturbing me from long time.

"The one who called her Bhabhi is Priya right? "Swapna questioned me as if she suddenly remembered something.

I nodded my head.

"I knew something was not right then itself..... "said our intelligent Akki.

I laughed at her childish tone....

She again said
"You know Siddarth sir is Ravi 's friend right? "

I gasped at the new piece of information....
I knew he was Ravi sir's classmate but I never thought they were friends.

"I don't know.... Only Aadarsh sir attended our wedding ceremony ."I said.

She nodded and said
"Yeah... He is more close to Aadarsh sir.... They are childhood friends. More like brothers. "

"Yeah... They seemed really close. He even seems close to mom and dad. "
I said.

"Why are you calling him Aadarsh sir.... Call him bro or just his name as you call jeeju as Siddarth. "Geetha teased me.

"Shut up.... I haven't had a proper conversation with Aadarsh sir yet... We just talked politely. He is our senior so I didn't want to disrespect him. "I glared and said them.

"It's okay... You will be comfortable enough to even keep nicknames after few months.... "now it was Akki.

"Even at starting I was calling him Ravi as sir, but now I calling him darling, honey.... "she said proudly......

I don't know why but Swapna and Akki are fans of PDA.

May be I will also behave like them when we both love each other....

I mentally slapped my self for thinking like that..... Even if Siddarth is fan of PDA, I will stop him. I am determined.

"Come out of jeeju 's dreams "all said together.....

I glared at them and left to washroom to wash my face.

Today was hectic.