The Thought Of Her

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Marcey's POV

It's been 6 weeks since 40 passed . The funeral was nice . That's all I could say about it . But the party after celebrating him was beautiful. You know funerals never portray the soul that was lost. It just reminds you that they are gone . It gives you a scary memory . The whole crew payed for the expenses . I also put my part . Now that gathering brought happy tears to everyone's eyes . We didn't just lose someone we lost a big part of the crew . I don't think the boys are gonna be the same.

"Hey 40 ...."

"I know it's stupid to talk to someone on their grave . I'm not the type to do this . But today I felt like I needed too ."

"You know it's been a long couple weeks since the whole thing happened. I miss you so much I'm pretty sure you already know . It's been difficult . Aubrey Hasn't talked to me since that day we found out you passed . I wanted to comfort him that day of the funeral. He looked so beaten but I knew he didn't want me to be there. So I stood back ."

"I couldn't sit in front of your casket . I was all the way in the back by myself .  Oh when I passed by your casket to look at you one last time . My heart tore to shreds . I cried in my glasses . I could feel the sadness overcome me as I realized that you weren't gonna be here with your family anymore. That broke me even more ."

"But I had to remind myself that you're not gone . You're just in a different place where everything seems to be much better . Well enough is enough let me wipe my eyes and get to work . I just wanted to come and pass by ." I got up off the grass and walked to my car where Chris waited for me ready to drive me to my office .

"How are you feeling?" He asked .

"There's better days I guess ." I replied.

He placed his hand on top of mine .

"It's all going to be fine . There's nothing in this world you can't get over . Now wipe the tears sweetheart you got a business to run ." He leaned in and wrapped his arms around me taking me into his embrace .

I felt comfortable. I felt safe .

"When are you ever going to stop being the most gentle husband material ever ." I said then chuckled .

He looked at me and laughed .

"Now why would I stop doing the thing that brings in all the ladies ." We both bursted into laughter .

It's been a long day in the office . I got many dress ideas getting made right now .  It's wedding season. The store was more packed than ever . Chris hung around today . He said he wanted to "live a Day in the life of Marcey".
Whatever that fucking means . I was surprised by his artistic and creative skills when it comes to making something. He actually helped with a couple of the designs .

It was a pretty easy day to say the least . I just hope the days to come are exactly like this .

"Marcey I was wondering if you would like to hang out with me and Dodger today . I'm feeling a little anxious." He laughed nervously.

Chris usually has mini panic attacks so this is nothing out of the ordinary.

"That's fine Chris now get in before you have no ride back home ." I chuckled .

He quickly got in .

I saw him fidget a lot . He was looking all around the place . His mind couldn't seem to focus on anything.

I turned up the oldies music playing on the radio and reached over and placed my hand on his thigh bringing him down to earth .

He looked over at me and softly smiled .

"My funny valentine." I began singing .

His breathing got easy .

"Sweet comic Valentine . You make me smile with my heart ." I kept on singing.

That was his favorite song . No matter how many times you played it he still wouldn't get sick of it .

"Can you stop the car in this parking lot ." He said .

I nodded before quickly stopping in a random empty parking lot .

He turned the music up a little more . Just enough not too loud not to quiet and then got off . I followed behind .

He began dancing by himself with his eyes closed. I walked over to him and took his hand before he pulled me close and danced along to the song with me .

"Thank you ." He whispered into my ear .

"I just want you to be as comfortable as possible. I just want you to live in the moment." I said .

We slowly danced . I haven't felt this safe or comfortable in a while , and I think he did too .

Memories of Aubrey dancing with me to songs like these flooded my mind . Standing in the house living room just in each other's arms . For a moment in my life I felt like a lady in the 50's , dancing with her man after he just came back after being away in the war for such a long , long time .

Tears filled my eyes but I didn't let them fall . I might not have the man who I fell in love with anymore , but at least I have the memories to last a lifetime .

Oh how I miss him so much ...