Love & pain

Part 8

It's morning. Why is this dream keep replaying? Ugh my head hurts. Huh? Where's erwin? It's early in the morning. He couldn't be possibly gone? He always left at i don't know but when the sun rises he left but this time, it's still dark.

I stood up from the bed and open every single doors that have in that room. Even the closet.

"Erwin?" I called. Hey, why am I like this? Why am I so desperately looking for him like a lost child?

"Erwin?!" I opened the window near the bed and look outside. No one. I'm starting to sweat. I sat on my bed but my legs won't stop shaking and I keep biting my nails. Why am I like this? I'm not usually like this. Why am I so worry of losing him?

I stood up again and open the door. Ran outside looking for erwin in my white pajama dress and messy hair. I keep looking around for erwin. Everywhere. Why am I so scared?

"Erwin??!!" I screamed. No response. I  slowly squatting down to the ground. Covered my face with my palms. It was all dark. A dark field. I don't even know where I am.

"Y/n" Erwin's voice! I removed my hand from my face and look up to him. What...

"Erwin..what happened to you?" Erwin is covered with all blood. Suddenly the sound of hissing appeared. I covered my ears. I look at erwin, the visions are blurry. I heard the a screaming. The tighter i covered my ears the stronger the sound is. It hurts!

My eyes opened. I'm panting for breath. Sweating. It's the ceilings of my room. So, it was a dream. I look to my side, erwin. He's sleeping soundly.
I sighed relief. I moved closer to him and hugged him. This kind of dream, it hurts so much.

I stared at his pale skin and gently caressed his cheek. My hand is running through his hair. I love him so much. I couldn't imagine continuing my life without him.

.......

"Y/n" Erwin called. He took something from his pocket. He took my hand and put...that hair clip. That hair clip I threw at the market. I felt bad remembering that.

"Do you...like it?" What? Of course.

"Of course, I love everything that is from you," erwin smirk. Eh? That's hot.

"Even, my-" before he could finish that word i quickly covered his mouth. Ah, men. That's the only joke they know. As I, a woman with dignity and innocence, I felt embarassed with that low life joke.

"Don't you dare to continue that word, erwin" he removed and hold my hand from his mouth and put it on his cheek then he kissed it. He then pull me closer, putting my two arms around his neck while wrapped his arms around my waist.

He kissed my forehead then my eyes, my nose and lastly my lips. I felt warm in his arms. This is just, nice.

"I'll always love you, y/n. No matter what happens." Said erwin as he let go from the kiss. "Even if I die?" I asked.
"Yes. Because, you're my first and last. But.." Erwin let go from the hug and put his hands on my shoulders and look at me straight in the eyes.

"If I'm no longer exist in this world. I want you to find someone else. Someone better than me. Someone that could give his time more for you. Unlike me, I gave you less attention and I'm sorry about that."

I looked down to the floor. Why is he saying unnecessary things like this?

"Don't say that. There's no man better than you. You are perfect for me. If you know what's your mistake and felt sorry then stop repeating it."

Erwin kissed my forehead. " I promise."

....

"Oi, what happened up there?" Levi asked. I'm confused. I went up to the place where levi sit with pastor nick and sat beside him. "About what?" Levi rolled his eyes. "You really don't know anything do ya? I heard there's three titans among us and they kidnap eren."