My Clown

9

"I don't know Lillian, I just don't know..."

I sat slumped on the wobbly stool. My fingers tapped the lacquered surface of the bar, it was annoyingly sticky and stained too. Years of drinks being spilled and fingernails scraping into the wood had completely ruined a once smooth finish of oak. The only unharmed things were delicate glass shelves, that supported colourful and sparkling bottles of liquor. And that was only because they were in the safety of the space behind the bar; where obnoxious, loud costumers couldn't reach. And tonight there was no shortage of obnoxious and loud costumers. The bar was packed. Conversations merged together into a confusing, blurry mess that invaded my ears and made my head ache. The air was stale and hot- I longed for a breath of fresh air. Oddly, everyone in the bar seemed perfectly happy. A group of workmen laughed with unnecessary volume while undoubtedly discussing something offensive. A gaggle of women absently stirred their drinks just as honeyed as their voices, completely absorbed in their discussions. The colours of the bottles on the glass wall stabbed my eyes, and the voices stabbed my ears, and mine by now, I could barely breath. I wanted to leave.

These feelings for Arthur had taken over, he's all I could think about. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed but instead there's this strong, powerful feeling. Arthur's a kind gentleman and a sweetheart, he cares and respects me; he's more than just a man in my eyes. He was what I've always wanted, I just didn't realise it until now, how could I be so blind. But does he feel the same way about me?

***

Y/n felt safe in Arthur's warm presence, under their blankets sitting at the window, gazing out at the pure black sky covered with bright dazzling stars. She whirled the wine around in her glass then placed it down next to her.

She smiled, "There's something about the night sky that brings out the beauty in Gotham."

He whispered, barely audible, "Yeah, but I've seen prettier."

"What was that Arthur?"

"I-I got something for you," he got up and clumsily dashed off to his mother's bedroom then came back in the living room, presenting me with a wonderful wrapped gift.

She kindly received it and smiled with delight, "Arthur that's so nice of you, but what did I do?"

A faint blush appeared on his cheeks as he smiled excitedly, "You're special y/n and I wanted to thank you for everything, so I got you this while you were out getting the wine to celebrate."

She tore off the shiny gold paper and brought her hands to her mouth when she saw a stunning vintage red dress. Y/n lifted it up and her eyes began watering. She held it against her chest and sniffed, "Thank you Arthur, I'm absolutely speechless. You're too much."

He chuckled, "I saw you admiring it at the shop window when we were out after Pogo's. I managed to scrape up enough just to get it for you."

"I'll wear it to the Murray Franklin Show on Thursday, then you'll manage to point me out in the audience."

***

"I want something really bad but I'm afraid that it might not turn out the way I hope it would," I murmured.

I was on my break with my co-worker Lillian who was trying to comfort me. When I first started working here as a waitress she was the only staff member who tried to interact with me and we soon became friends, it just proves that there are still some decent people in Gotham. I looked up at her, hoping she could give me some advice or a light of hope.

She huffed and licked her lips, "Well, if you don't do it sooner or later then you won't accomplish anything at all, don't let fear get in the way of what you want in life. And even if it does turns out wrong, then at least you tried!"