Tommy angst cause I'm sad

Back Pain 2

TW: selfharm

"Tommy." I heard from the crowd not being able to fit a face with it. 

I just sat there. How would I explain this?

"Care to explain?" The same voice said through the silence.

I opened my mouth waiting for something to come out, wanting something to come out. "I- I- I-um." I finally stammered out. wishing for anything else, but what was I supposed to say? 'Oh yeah I just have wings now. Nobody knew but yeah that happened.'

Everyone just sat there looking angry. I looked to Tubbo hoping he would know what to say, but he just shook his head and said "Get out of my lands." That was all I needed. I expanded my wings and took off to the sky flying away from the land I once called home.

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Later that night

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I sat on the edge of my bed, which I quickly crafted, and thought about how fucked I was. What was I supposed to do? Just start a new? I suppose?

I laid in bed and closed my eyes hoping for at least a speck of sleep, but no dreamless sleep ever came. Just tossing and turning in the bed. 

I finally got up and walked over to the forest that was where I had landed. I chopped down as many trees as my axe could handle before breaking. "FUCK!" I yelled as the axe broke. I finally just broke down and laid against a tree stump, just crying.

I assume at some point I fell asleep seeming as now I'm opening my eyes to bright skys.

I decided I would be here for quite sometime and made a house. It was quite a big and beautiful house, but didn't do anything for my mood.

I decide when in doubt, go mining. So I set off to the mines and dug for hours, finally deciding it was about time to go back seeming as I had a stack of diamonds, 4 stacks of iron, and 10 of coal. 

It was night when I finally returned. The sky was filled with stars and was beautiful. I looked up taking in the atmosphere of stars. I sat like that until the sun was rising.

I finally went back to my house and layed down feeling a small improvement on my mood. I closed my eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up feeling horrible. I just wanted to be gone. Disappear. I took my sword and slit my wrist a couple times. I felt something at least. 

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Many years later. Tommy is now 23.

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I had made a big improvement on the land but still feeling horrible.

I heard the noise of the nether portal quickly getting up horrified of what it might be, but glad it might end my suffering.

I quickly ran to the portal seeing a group of people. Tubbo, Philza, and Ghostbur.

I tiredly looked at them, raising and eyebrow in question. "Tommy." I heard Tubbo speak faintly. 

I was trampled with a hug from Tubbo, not giving much of a reaction at first but quickly hugging back tightly. I was sobbing, and so was Tubbo. 

Phil quickly joined us waving Ghostbur over. I thought they forgot about me.

Are hug came to an end after about 10 minutes. We all sat down at a table, they all were looking at me like they had seen a wither. I finally got sick of their stares and said "What?" They all looked at me their gazes softening. 

"You look tired." Ghostbur finally said. "I am." I said back. "How long has it been since you've slept?" phil asked. "Lost track after 5." I said still very tired. "5 days?!" They all said in unison. "Years." I said slightly disappointed in myself. "Tommy. Go to bed. We'll be here when you wake." Phil said. I walked over to my bed and laid, down quickly falling right to sleep.

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The next morning

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I woke up to a crash from the kitchen. Quickly running towards the noise to find the source. Seeing Tubbo making me breakfast. Phil and Ghostbur sitting at the table. I smiled and chuckled at that. I don't think they saw me though cause they started talking about me.

"We need to take him back. Have you seen him?!" Phil said to Tubbo. "Yes. We do. I don't know how much longer he can survive alone and how much longer I can survive without him." That made me smile lightly. "Good morning." I said walking over to the table taking a seat pretending like I hadn't heard anything. "Good morning" They all said back. "We're taking you back to L'manberg." Tubbo said while pushing me a giant plate of pancakes. I smiled at him as a thank you as he handed the others a smaller plate. "Alright." I said with no protest. I scarfed down my pancakes in what seeming like minutes. I hadn't eaten in quite sometime.

They all looked at me in disbelief. "What?" I said. "You just ate 13 pancakes in 2 minutes!?" Tubbo said, his jaw on the floor. I just sat there looking at my plate. "You got more?" I said simply. They're faces of disbelief turned into pure shock as I said it. "Just take mine." Phil said dumping his on my plate. Ghostbur and Tubbo quickly doing the same. I ate them just as quick as before. 

I stretched my arms above my head, I looked back at them seeing sad faces. I looked at them questioningly. "Tommy..." Phil said tears edging his eyes. "What?" It didn't take me long to realize what they meant. Before I could say anything Ghostbur grabbed my wrist roughly making me flinch. 

They looked at my wrists. Phil had walked into the living room in tears. Tubbo was crying just as much as Phil but couldn't bring himself to walk away. Ghostbur had a sad look on his face, I knew that if he could cry he would be. Tubbo grabbed me and hugged my torso. I held him close. I didn't want to cry, I didn't feel like crying, but silent tears were streaming down my face as Tubbo soaked my t-shirt with his own. 

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The next day

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The night before we had set off for L'manberg after a long talk. We were in the Nether walking across a long bridge, when a Nether portal came into view. 

They walked into the Nether portal. I sat there and watched as they disappeared, I was hesitant, but I finally walked into the Nether portal. I saw them waiting patiently for me. I took in the builds, new and old.

I could feel the tears testing my eyes. I finally broke down, feeling my legs weaken clasping on the ground, feeling 3 pairs of arms wrap around me.

I was home.

Started: January 10th 2021

Finished: January 10th 2021

1127 words.