ENTANGLED | CRIMINAL MINDS

Forever's Not Our Thing

The smell of antiseptic and stainless steel filled Jean's nose as she awakened. The constant beeping of her heart monitor, the hospital gown she had on, and the extreme pain she suddenly felt overcome her body quickly overwhelmed her.

She began to furtively look around the room and try to detach herself of the many machines she had been hooked up to while unconscious.

Hotch rose out of the seat by her bedside instantly, rushing to her and trying to calm her down as he held her hands down so she would be unable to take out the morphine drip or the IV she needed desperately after her surgery.

Her eyes finally met his and she instantly calmed at his touch, almost relishing the fact that he was there.

"This isn't a dream, is it?"she whispered to him softly, gingerly grabbing his hand and enclasping it in hers.

"Jeanette, you're safe here. After you were rescued, you were driven here to the hospital and rushed into surgery. It didn't look good. You were so dehydrated and on top of that, the attending nurse told me that you had several broken ribs, a damaged cornea, and a plethora of bruises, cuts, and scrapes that Cat had inflicted on you" Hotch said, soaking in the sight of Jean.

Sitting with her in the back of the gurney, hanging on to life by a thread was one of the most heartbreaking things he had ever seen.

The girl who had brought so much life and light to his life, to his team, had laid deathly still and practically lifeless after the torture she had suffered in the warehouse.

In those moments in the small and cramped back of the ambulance, Hotch wondered if she would open her eyes again.

It was a cruel injustice of the universe he felt, letting someone like Jeanette hurt while the criminals and serial killers were out there still, causing havoc on society.

There would always be another case, another killer, but there would never be another Jeanette Sanders.

He snapped back to reality when he felt a small tug on his jacket.

"Hotch, come here" she said hoarsely, and from the look on her face, he could tell it took a lot of effort to get those few words out.

"Jeanette, the doctor said you're very fragile right now and I don't want to hurt you. The bed isn't big enough-" he rambled on before he was interrupted by another small tug on his jacket.

Unable to say no to her, he softly lifted himself into the miniscule hospital bed, trying to take up as little space as he could.

However, that wasn't a problem, as he soon felt Jeanette crawl on top of him and still there as she laid her head on his chest, her battered legs falling between his own. Instinctively, his arms circled around her waist and his chin met the top of her head.

Hotch desperately wished things could be desperate. He wished that he could be a selfish man and live out a long and beautiful life with Jean, the one Spencer had painted out for him when he thought he was about to die.

Maybe in another life they'll find their way back to each other.

But in this one, he had to let her go.

"Aaron, why's your heart beating so fast?" she quietly giggled, unaware of what he was about to say. It made him happy knowing that despite everything she had been through, her light had not been burned out.

"Jeanette, I have to tell you something," Hotch said seriously, his head still resting on top of hers, unable to look her in the eyes because he knew the second he did, he would fall into her arms like putty and never be able to leave them.

Jean nodded quietly, cuddling up as close to him as humanly possible, anxious to hear his message.

"I love you. There's no doubt in my mind about it. You came into my life with this vibrance, this youth and an amazing personality and showed me life doesn't have to be so serious and dreary all the time. If I could go back in time to the first time you stepped into the BAU, I would have asked you on a date then and there. That's not what happened though" he said softly.

"In that warehouse, Cat told Spencer and I that the only way we could save your life was to die in your place and Spencer immediately told Cat he would do it within seconds, no hesitation. Jeanette, minutes before Spencer thought he was about to die, he was telling me to take care of you when he passed and telling me all these great facts about you, big and small, he had committed to memory. He told me if he couldn't make it, he wanted me to be able to give you the life and family you deserved to have" Hotch said, a tear rolling down his face and falling onto the crown of Jean's head.

"That man was a martyr for you, Jeanette, and I would be the most selfish man on the planet to take the love he has for you, the love you both have for each other, away" he murmured.

"I love you so much that I have to let you go" he cried, his arms tightening around her, unable to accept the fact that this was the last time they'd ever hold her so close.

Jean knew better than to argue with him. She had known Aaron for years and if she knew one thing about the man, it was that he was as stubborn as a mule.

This truly meant the end.

Instead of trying to find the right words to say back, she instead slowly moved out of his tight grip, just enough to look into his eyes. Those eyes held so much pain and darkness, but she knew that within time, they would shine bright for someone else.

The silence between the two ex-lovers was painfully beautiful, there were no words needed to fill up the space.

Jean looked at Hotch once more, tilting her chin up to close the gap between them for one last kiss.

They took their time, trying to memorize the grooves of each other's lips and the way their faces felt when pressed so close together. What felt like hours was only mere minutes though, and Hotch wished that they could stay like this for eternity, his lips pressed against hers in the tiny bed.

However, they broke apart and laid together instead. For the last time, the older man enveloped the younger agent in a tight embrace as they fell asleep in each other's arms, unsure of what the future held for the two of them now.

By the time she woke in the morning, he was gone.

Author's Note: I almost cried writing this chapter :( Only one more left! 

Make sure to add my new story, Caught in the Crossfire, which is also an HotchxSpencerxOC story!