The ride home was thick with tension between the older man and the younger woman. Not only were there thoughts swirling with lust and longing, but they were wondering what they were and what they meant to each other.
Jean broke the silence abruptly, turning to Hotch and clutching his hand that was already ensnared in hers harder. "Hotch, is this more than sex to you?" she questioned quietly.
"You didn't have to tell that guy that was bothering me that you were my boyfriend, there were a million other ways to stick up for me. Is that your way of telling me something?".
His hand on the wheel tightened as the silence between made them feel like they were thousands of miles apart. "
Jeanette, of course it's more than just sex" he said solemnly, taking his eyes off the road for a solid second to make eye contact with her.
With her heart in her chest, she asks the question that has been eating her up. "Aaron, do you want me to be your girlfriend?".
Hotch froze.
He knew that with every fiber in his being that he would easily wake up tomorrow morning and marry Jeanette Sanders.
However, his doubts overpowered these feelings. He wondered whether he could do right by her.
He wondered about the age gap. He wondered about how this would affect their work relationship and their other team members in the field. He wondered about her and Spencer Reid.
To him it felt like seconds, but in reality, Jean's question hung in the air between them for minutes.
"Well, it appears I have my answer" Jean said as her voice trembled. "Please let me out of the car, Hotch" she asked as tears began to run down her face.
"Jeanette, please, we're almost to the hotel, just-" he said until he was interrupted by her screaming through tears. "Agent Hotchner, let me OUT!" she shouted. "I need to get out of this car with you, I can't breathe, I can't breathe" she said as she fiddled with the handle, hoping that it would magically click open.
He looked at her with sad eyes and clicked the button to unlock the doors after he had pulled over. "Jeannette, please let me explain-" he said.
"I open up my heart so willingly for love. I never learn my lesson though, do I?" she said with a sad smile, looking at him from the side of the street through glossy eyes. Out of nowhere, rainfall begins to come pouring down on the duo.
"There has not been one time where I haven't been royally fucked over. Not once. I crave the love I read about yet the men in real life never measure up. I had high hopes once upon a time. I met you and Spencer, and I felt like I was in a dream. Never would I have thought that in a million years, two amazing men would be into me. It felt like I was getting pranked. And lo and behold, I was. Men like you two would never settle for a woman like me. I'm unworthy of your love and attention, aren't I, Aaron?" Jean screamed as her clothes continued to get soaked.
"For you, I'm nothing but a plaything. I would never be worthy of being the partner of Aaron Hotchner, would I? And of course, I can't forget about the brilliant Dr.Reid, can I? I wasn't enough for him either, he's got another girl anyways!" she said.
"Jeanette, get back in the car" Hotch said through gritted teeth, finally exiting the car and walking over to her.
She began to walk away from him but he reached out and gripped her arm. "Jeanette, don't leave me please" he said.
"Tell me then, Aaron. Tell me the words I want to hear and I'm all yours. We can go right back in the car and act like none of this ever happened" she pleaded, begging him to say the only words that could fix this situation.
He looked down at the floor, unable to choke out the words he so desperately wanted to say.
"Please let me go, Aaron" she said softly, stroking his hand. "I wanted this to work so badly, I should have seen this coming in the long run" she said with a chuckle as she detached her hand from his.
"I should have known better, you would never have committed to a plain old girl like me" she said soberly as she turned around and walked away from the man she once held in such high regard, wondering what her future held in store for her.
YOU ARE READING
ENTANGLED | CRIMINAL MINDS
FanfictionJean Sanders is one of the world's best profilers working for the Behavioral Analysis Unit when she suddenly finds herself caught in a love triangle with her co-worker Spencer Reid and her boss Aaron Hotchner. Through it all, friendships are lost, f...