A Week in Italy (itapan)

9

Once we were outside the city he slowed down a little. I guess he could tell that I was going to have a heart attack if he continued to go that fast. "We will stop in Padua before we go on to Venice, so just relax" he smiled. I nodded at what he said and looked outside the window at the scenery. It was really beautiful and I wanted to stay longer. I turned to look at Feli who drove peacefully. He had to have been the worst driver ever, but it made me happy that he slowed down for me.

I continued to stare at him and his face was so soft and sweet. "What is it?" He asked. I jumped in my seat and quickly turned away from him. "Nothing really..... I was just uh..... thinking about how you get your hair to do that" I tried to say. Feli began to laugh and he shrugged his shoulders. "Not sure" he spoke. Why am I being this way? I've established he is a good looking man but why do I keep thinking about that? He likes men , but why does that concern me? I'm not..... not.....

My face turned hot and I began to fan myself "are you okay?" He asked. "Yeah!! Just a little hit I guess" I laughed. Feli began to roll down the window and I stared at how his hair began to get blown back. Even with the wind making his hair crazy, he kept that beautiful image. Throughout this trip, I've been thinking a lot about him. I hardly know him!! But we became friends. He helps me find my way around and even speaks English to me so we can communicate better. He likes men, he is extremely good looking, he is sweet and kind and.... and .... so interesting.

It was like everything was slow motion. The music began to fade as he turned to flash me a smile. Up until very recently, he had been the only one to make me scream at the top of my lungs. He likes men, so what! It is doesn't effect me at all! I should mind my business. It isn't that it disgusts me , I just..... OH GOD I DO NOT KNOW!!!

"Kiku, Is it peaceful in Japan?" He asked. I turned to look at him and shrugged a little "depends where you are in Japan. The country side tends to be more peaceful" I explained.

"I think I would like to visit.... to see the cities and countryside" he spoke. My eyes widened and I looked at him shocked "really? That would be cool! If you come in the summertime there is always a lot of things going on" I spoke. "I think there would be something way more interesting that I'd want to see" he smiled. I lifted an eyebrow and looked at him confused. "Really?.... like what?" I asked confused. Feli began to laugh again and he looked to me "to see you"

He turned back to look at the road and his words made me feel hot. I didn't answer what he said and I just sat back in my seat. He would want to see me? Out of everything else in Japan? Feli was into men..... so why was I so concerned about it? This feeling he gave me from a couple of words. I.....I liked it a lot, no! I didn't just like it.... I- " I'm sure we can meet up and I can return the favor. If you'd like, you can even stay with me in my apartment"

His smile brightened and he began to nod eagerly "that sounds perfect! Now that we have each other's numbers, we can even plan it. I'll save some money and see you" he spoke. His childlike excitement was darling.... he was so happy all the time. Tomorrow was my last full day in Italy... I think I was going to miss him a lot. I hardly knew him , but I think I was starting to care about him a lot. Feli was into men.... and that concerned me. Because I was also into men. It concerned me because I wanted to be the man he liked.

Feli and I hardly know each other, this silly little crush wouldn't move past anything more and I think I needed to be accepting of that. I wonder what his ex lover looked like? I bet he was amazing I'm sure. "Ahh! Can you get me a handkerchief from the glove compartment. I think something got in my eye. Feli began to rub one of his eyes and I quickly opened the compartment to get him what he asked for. When I did, a picture fell out and I quickly reached to grab it.

I didn't mean to look, but once I did I was shocked. I handed the handkerchief to Feli and quickly put the picture back in the compartment. "Thank you" Feli smiled. The picture was of him and another man. The man was blonde and was very tall and muscular. He was kissing Feli and I felt a certain way. Feli definitely wouldn't like anyone skinny and short as me. I was opposite from the other man in the picture... it really did not make me feel good about myself.

Feli put the handkerchief in his pocket and smiled at me "what's wrong?" He asked. "Nothing! I was just thinking I guess" I spoke. He tilted his head and shrugged it off. That guy was like a model. I could never look like that if I tried. I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes to feel the breeze on my face. I won't let this get to me , or let it ruin my time with Feli. I will be happy and enjoy all the attention he is giving me. Hopefully I won't think about it the whole time we are in Venice but who can say? I know I couldn't.