Serendipity (KakaIru Yaoi Fanfic)

7.Grand Escape

Eyes fluttered open. I looked at the wall clock and found it's almost 5 am.

I remembered I've closed my eyes at 3 am after we did it. I felt a little regret after provoking him, I felt like my back and hips broke.

So I only get to sleep for more than an hour. I'm thirsty. I want to get up but Kakashi has locked me up in his arms. He truly loves cuddling and hugging, keeping someone in his arms tight. I felt more lucky from that thought, I reached his face and gave him a light kiss on his cheek and his brows somewhat moved. I smiled from his reaction.

But now... how am I able to tell him?

I've made up my mind already after agreeing to the confinement.

But can I really say it?

I can't waver now. I shouldn't be so weak. I should be strong enough to fend him off. I know Kakashi very well, he is one of the most calm person but as well as stubborn even than me, I'd say.

And I slowly but carefully slip off from his hold so I wouldn't wake him up but,

" Iruka..? "
He called out with closed eyes.

" Nothing. Sleep tight Kakashi. "
I coaxed and kissed his forehead then get up. I'm glad he get back to sleep.

I went to the kitchen and took an aspirin for chest pain. I sighed afterwards thinking no matter what and how many medicines I took it still doesn't gonna change my situation.

My mind wandered from the times where we have talked about our future, our dreams of growing old together. How I had wish to be always with him. To support and cherish each other no matter how high and low we get.

I wish for Kakashi to be fine and happy when I'm gone.

..........................

Meanwhile...

I had prepared some belongings I needed the most after I showered.

I slipped a little postcard on the vase in the table of our bedroom.

Kakashi is still asleep so I find it convenient to end everything through a simple and concise letter.
This is easier as I don't need to explain myself, I'm afraid if ever I get to say it straight to his face, my real emotions would betray me.

After thoroughly checking and preparing. I've decided and ready to go away from Kakashi--------forever.

But before that, I went first to our bedroom to cherish one glimpse of the man I love the most.

But as I was about to pull the doorknob, it suddenly was pulled into the opposite direction. It was opened before I could do it and the thing I'm afraid the most is to see Kakashi wide awake and myself in front of him gonna say the cruelest thing that I know will gonna hurt me more than this condition I've been enduring.

His eyes blinked for seconds until his eyes swept from my head to toe.

" Where are you going, Iruka? "

And I felt like I was choked, I don't know what to utter and before I knew it, my eyes tear up in front him leaving him in surprise and confusion.

" Iruka? What's wrong?"

" Kakashi, I'm breaking up with you. "
I said straight to his eyes and his jaw dropped. I didn't waste time in facing him and immediately turned to leave.

" Iruka? W-What are you saying??"

" You heard it clearly. "
I said with empty emotions, strengthening my will not to breakdown.