Grow

Chapter 9: Secrets

Lily POV:

I walk back into the common room, hugging my waist. I sit next to the girls.

"So?" Marlene looks up.

"He told me he was sorry. And that he didn't mean it."

"And what did you say?" asks Alice.

"That he calls all muggleborns that name so why should I be any different? He didn't have an answer to that..."

"So...?"

"In the end, I just said we couldn't go on being friends. If I'm honest, I don't know how he expected me to forgive him... after saying that... after everything..." I sigh and lean back into the chair.

Someone comes over, and I look up at Remus standing next to me.

"Lily, I'm sorry. About what happened. I should have helped or done something-"

"Yes, you should." I say, but I smile, trying to remind myself that it wasn't his fault. "But... it was going to happen eventually. It... it might be for the best. With everything..." I gesture to an open Newspaper on the table, the headline screaming, More Muggles Dead!

Do I know any of them? What about Mum and- no I'm not doing this right now. I'm not going through those thoughts.

I look around for a distraction, and see Sirius comes down the stairs from the boy's dormitory, looking around the quiet common room, followed by Peter and James. Well, they're certainly one sort of distraction.

"Remus! There you are!" Sirius comes over.

"Hi girls." Peter says.

"Hi." Marlene replies, Alice smiles quickly, paying more attention to her book. Neither of them are particularly welcoming. They're not happy about what happened and know that it was those idiots that-

I stand up abruptly. I can't deal with them right now. " Sorry I need to go to bed... got some things to do..."

"Oh," says Marlene, looking slightly confused, "Ok then. We'll be up later."

Alice looks up and nods, I think she knows, what I'm really doing.

"Bye." I turn and walk away.

I manage to reach the foot of the stairs. Then I hear a voice behind me.

"Evans?"

I recognise James' voice, but not the tone... It's almost unsure, no where near the confident way he normally speaks.

Can't he just leave me alone?

Lily, just give him a chance. C'mon at least he isn't trying to whirl you around to get your attention.

I, somewhat reluctantly, turn around.

"What do you want, Potter?"

"I wanted to say..." James pauses. What is going on with him?

"What?"

"I wanted to say that I'm... that I'm sorry. For what Snape said to you."

"So, it's Snape now, not Snivellus?" It comes out even before I think about it, must be second nature by now. Look, I'm definitely not friends with Severus, but I'm still not particularly keen on James either.

"Let's just say... I've..." he runs his hand through his hair, awkwardly, "done some thinking."

"Well, that's progress."

There is an uncomfortable pause in the conversation.

"James, I need to go."

"Right, um... see you."