Out of the Darkness

90 Anna's POV

I watched as he started shifting, throwing his leg out from under the blanket, moving his head back and forth a little. "Anna, no," he muttered. My heart twisted and I covered my mouth with my hand to keep the sob in. This was going to be so much harder than I anticipated, and I already knew that it was going to be unbearable. I thought back to when he kissed me, and let my fingertips brush over my lips, remembering the feeling of his lips on mine. I couldn't let that happen again. If I did, then I might never see him again. I don't think that I could bear that. I sighed, and turned my back on his restless sleeping form. I guess there was nothing to do but wait until he woke up. I settled down on the couch, noticing that my form was, once again, transparent. Since there wasn't anything for me to do, and I didn't want to wake Colby, I just sat there and stared out the window into the night sky. The moon was so bright that it was sending silvery waves of light down into the bedroom. It would be beautiful and calming, if not for Colby's fitful whimpers. I was satisfied. With this, with being able to simply see and talk to Colby. I would have to be. I wondered vaguely for how long I would be satisfied with only having a taste of this world. "As long as you need to be," I answered myself quietly. "Anna?" I turned my head automatically to the sound of my name from his lips. He was still asleep, his voice full of anguish. "Don't go," he whimpered. I floated over to him, and hovered above his sleeping form. I wished that I could let him feel my presence in some way, let him know that I was here, that I hadn't left him. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I had to stop this, gain control of my emotions, if I had any hope of being allowed to stay. I couldn't allow myself to feel anything for Colby, past that of an acquaintance. This was going to be the hardest thing that I had ever had to do in my life...my afterlife, I mean. I sighed, and lowered myself to his bed. I lay down and rolled to my side, facing him. I know it sounds creepy, but I couldn't help myself. I watched him sleep. I don't know for how long, an hour, maybe several. It was so fascinating to me. I watched the way the shadows on his face shifted when he turned his head, the way his lashes would quiver a little when he was dreaming. It hurt me when I would see him frown, or be in distress. He said my name a couple more times, before he finally fell silent. I thought that he would rest now, but I was wrong. I wasn't prepared for the way he shot up in the bed. "OH," I gasped out, sitting up with him. He turned his head in my direction but I don't think he saw me, at first. His eyes were wild, looking left and right, his hands shaking as they went to his head. He pressed the heels of his hands on his eyes, and groaned. I was positive that he didn't see me, when he threw his twisted blanket back and slid his feet to the floor. I watched as he shuffled drunkenly across his room to the gallon water bottle that he had by his couch. He stood there and turned the large jug up, gulping from it a few times. I still hadn't moved or said a word. He carried the bottle with him, back to the bed, then turned and shoved his feet back under his blanket, pulling it to his chest. My eyes got stuck there for a moment, admiring the way his shoulders moved, and the way the muscles in his arms bulged with his movements. I remembered those arms being around me, holding me tightly against his body. I felt nonexistent blood rush to my cheeks, and moved my hand to fan my face, without thinking. The movement must have caught Colby's eye because he turned his head my way, confusion on his face. He didn't say anything at first. Just held eye contact with me, his blue eyes holding me in a trance. "Um, hi," I said awkwardly. He blinked a few times, then rubbed his eyes, and met my gaze again. "Anna?" he asked. I nodded, and smiled at him a little. He shook his head. "I'm still dreaming, aren't I?" He acted like he truly wanted an answer from me, so I shook my head. "No, you're awake. I'm here." "No, you're not. This is some game that my brain is playing with me, trying to make me even more miserable than I am. You're gone. I was thinking about giving up yesterday. That's why this is happening. Because I feel guilty. But I tried Anna. I tried so hard. I did the meditation, I tried to talk to you in the dreams, I asked a witch for help, and even tried a dream walker. My last hope was going to be investigating the house more. The Witch House. I'm going there tomorrow. Alone. I don't want Sam to get hurt, if anything...should happen." He was quiet for a minute while I tried to process what all he was saying. It felt like he just exploded quietly, releasing all of these intense emotions, these feelings, and it was hard for me to keep up. "Colby," I said, reaching out my hand to him. "I'm here. I promise. It's really me." I tried to touch his face, but my hand went through him. He sucked in his breath, and met my gaze again. "I felt that," he said, his eyes wide. "It was cold. But you've never been a ghost in my nightmares. You've only been human." I let that sink in and gave him another small smile. "I guess my human time is over," I replied, shrugging a little. "Anna?" He asked again, confusion and denial still on his face. I nodded, and saw a glimmer of hope re-enter his eyes. He shot towards me so fast, I know he would've probably knocked me off of the bed, had I been solid. Instead, he went through me.