I Found Love, In You- (Jemily) [M]

I Can't

A/N- hey guys updating because I can't sleep. Shout out to makennadladner for this idea, I really liked it and it was similar to what I had in mind already so hope you enjoy!!
TW- mentions of rape and self harm ⚠️

Also in this book, I forgot to mention that Emily is 26 and JJ is 24.

JJ's POV

I still haven't told Emily about Kevin. It's been two days and she keeps asking about him. I want to tell her because I feel like I'm lying to her but if I do, it will really hurt her and the state she's in, it could break her.

There's something I don't know about the dream. Nobody will tell me. I want Emily to tell me herself.

She's been home for about a day now and I'm sat in bed next to her. I've been up for about an hour but I don't want to wake her. She looks so peaceful sleeping there.

She starts to stir.

"Hey baby" she says groggily. "How long have you been awake?" She asks.

"Um not really sure to be honest." I lie.

"What's up?" She asks.

"Well um, you know the dream you had in the hospital, do you remember it?"

"Yeah, vividly" she replies getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom in our room.

"Well, nobody would tell me what happened and I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it? It obviously affected you and I want to help. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but the team were worried, so I figured I'd ask you myself" I say.

"Um, I mean I'll tell you but you can't get mad okay?"

"Why would I be mad baby? There's nothing you could do to make me mad at you." I say as she comes back into bed.

"Well it started with me and you in Stephen's house. He was hurting you, a lot, and I tried my best to stop him begging him to hurt me instead. Then um... he brought Zack into the room." She says with tears filling her eyes.

"Who's Zack?" I ask cuddling up next to her.

"Zack is um...my....god this is harder than I thought"

"It's okay baby, take your time"

"Zack is my son." She looked at me with tears eyes. Like she thought I was going to be mad. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was just scared"

"Hey baby, it's okay."

"I had him when I was 16 because Stephen raped me a lot and he was "conceived" on my 16th birthday. He's 10 now and lives here in Virginia. My mom gave him to my best friend's mother to look after him. She always let me have contact with him, I speak to him every week. I see him quite a bit too when we aren't away on a case."

"That's great Em"

"Yeah, I love him so much. Anyways...in the dream my dad brought him out along with Stephen and they torture and then murdered him right in front of me and did the same to you too. I had to watch you both die and there was nothing I could do. The two most important people in my life dead and it was my fault" She says in tears.

"Hey...it's okay I'm here and I'm not going anywhere and none of it is your fault okay? I need you to keep telling yourself that." I say stroking her hair.

"So you're not mad I didn't tell you?" She asks.

"No baby, I'd never be mad, and if it's alright with you I'd like to meet him, we could go somewhere just the three of us?"