I Found Love, In You- (Jemily) [M]

I Can't Do It Without You

A/N- hey guys Ik the plot line is a bit weird right now with evil twin, eviler twin but it's just all building up to the wedding and there will be more on Emily's mom too. Xo
This chapter is kinda long!

TW ⚠️ alcoholism, self-harm

Smut😈😏

Emily's POV

"Bill Lamontagne FBI open up!" Hotch shouts. I'm right behind him with JJ, I was cleared from the hospital about 3 days ago.

We storm in and it's a trap. The door is about to close and Bill has a bomb attached to him. I push JJ out of the room along with the rest of the team and trap myself with him. Ive had experience dealing with bombs so I might be able to disarm it.

"EMILY NO!" I hear JJ scream from the other side of the door. I go to the window and mouth "I love you."

JJ's POV

I can't believe she did that. She saved all of us and went to sacrifice herself. I can't stop crying knowing that this could be the last time I see her.

I'm screaming for her but it won't do anything. She comes to the window and mouths "I love you". Hotch moves me away from the window. I know the timer on the bomb had at least two minutes so she has time. She's smart she can do this.

Emily's POV

I go to Bill and the timer has 2 minutes left on it. There are 3 wires red, yellow and blue. The red one looks a lot longer and thinner than the other two so I grab some scissors and snip it. The timer stops and the bomb is disarmed. I take a breath of relief and I kick the door open and they take Bill into custody.

I'm met by an angry JJ. Who runs up to me and hugs me.

"What the fuck were you thinking? You could've died? Why did you do that Emily I could've lost you?"

"Hey, hey I'm here okay shhh. I'd rather lose one of us than all of us okay"

"I could've lost you" she says with tears streaming down her face.

"Hey you're not going to lose me okay. At least not to someone related to fucking Will"

She lets out a slight chuckle.

JJ hugs me so tight she put pressure on my arms and I wince a little. Forgetting what's on my arms. She pulls away and asks if I was hurt. I reply "I'm just aching".

"Emily?"

"JJ... it's nothing okay" I say avoiding eye contact.

"Emily? You need to tell me the truth, I can read you like a book. You are not aching are you?"

"Can we talk about this when we get home?"

"Fine"

JJ's POV

We are in the car on the way back and she's been holding her sleeves down the entire time. I think she's been self-harming again but I need her to tell me. I need her to know that it's ok.

We reach the parking lot of Emily's apartment and she puts the keys in the door. We walk in and I immediately throw my bag down and grab her hand leading her to the couch. I sit in front of her.

"Emily... I'm not going to let this go okay. So you need to tell me...have you been cutting again?"

"I-I-uh" is all I can get out. Tears are forming in my eyes and I can't hold it in any longer, I stand up and get a glass of water. "Yes okay I don't know what is wrong with me... as soon as something good happens in my life it gets ruined. All I can think about right now is that I should've pulled the fucking trigger. There is no point in me being here, I haven't felt like this for a few weeks but right now it's all I can think about. I ruin every single thing I touch and I don't want to ruin you too. I chose to drink all the time. I chose to cut myself. I chose to try kill myself. But you didn't ask for this. This isn't what you signed up for and I don't get why you haven't left me. Everyone else fucking does. I was just starting to build a bridge with my mom baring in mind she was the one who let my dad physically abuse me for years. She stood by and let it happen. I cried myself to sleep every night because of it and I wanted to tell her how I felt and now I can't even do that. That's why I put myself in a room with a bomb because I'd rather die than lose anyone else. I'd happily die right now but the only person keeping me here is you. I don't know how to feel JJ, I'm worthless, I love you so much and I hope you know that. But I don't want to drag you down with me." I take a breath after saying all that and sit back down with my head in my hands.