Lorraine's Saga (Part III to Wild Child)

Always

Roland

Years had passed. I had to do what was best for Lorraine. My cancer was spreading even though I was going through chemotherapy. When that didn't work, we tried radiation. The whole process and treatment took a lot out of me. I didn't have the heart to have the woman I love to have to go through it with me. I wanted her to remember me as the man that I was. I chose to leave. To leave my family and the woman I loved most. When Dr. Scott told me that one day, I might have a chance, a very slim chance to survive but with risk. I took it. He told me it was a 50/50 meaning I might not survive the treatment itself. I wanted to go through with it and if there was a chance that I could make it. I would take it. I decided not to tell Lorraine. I knew the person that she was and she would want to be by my side. But... I couldn't.

So many nights I almost broke down, picked up my phone. I just wanted to hear her voice. All I could do was buy all the magazines with her on the cover or being interviewed. I have missed her and I wanted so much to hold my children.

When Dr. Scott told me I was cancer free just 6 months ago, I couldn't be happier. I was about to jump on the plane and surprise Lorraine and I stopped myself. The reason? I have to know she wanted me back. It's been over four years now and Joshua is almost 5 by now.

I decided to wait here in our Paris home for my wife. Inside my heart I have always known this was where we had our best memories and loved hard.

I was right.

"Roland..."

I look at her with eyes still half closed next to me. She doesn't even look a day older than when we first met.

"Yes babygirl?" I stroked her temple softly.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

I chuckled.

"Are you hungry? You must have a hangover babygirl."

A huge smile forms on her beautiful face. This is the thing about Lorraine... with her delicate features, her lips are just out of place. Not in a bad way but just luscious.

"I'm starving Chef Roland."

She jumps up all of a sudden with eyes wide open.

"What the fuck. Who are you? What are you doing here?"

I must say I'm quite confused at the moment.

"What do you mean babygirl? I'm your husband and I'm here because you are here."

She looks confused for a second and she places her palms over her eyes.

"Stop this. Stop this dream. I don't like it. I don't want it. Wake up Lorraine. Wake up NOW.'

I am still watching her and I'm quite amused.

"My wild child.. are you still drunk?"

"You are a dream. You are not real. No.. you are real.. you are here with me. You are here."

Pain struck my heart. I cannot imagine what I have put her through.

I pull her into my arms and at this moment... I don't ever want to let her go.

"My wild child... I'm so sorry. So sorry for all the pain that I have caused you. Please forgive me. I love you. I love you so much."

I begin to kiss her. Her temple.. her cheeks... the tip of her nose... her lips. Those lips.

She pushes me away.

"Stop... NO. Stop.. NO..."

I can taste her tears... she is crying and it hurts. Her tears... is more painful than anything. Nothing can ever compare to the pain that I can feel knowing the pain she had to go through.