The perfect storm

Chapter Two

"Don't move," he whispers into my ear as he backs me up against the wall.

"Please, no," I sob as I try to squirm free, but he punches me in the stomach, making me crumple to the ground like a piece of paper. Tears roll down my cheeks making me feel even more defenceless than I already do.

"Don't fight it, just give in to it," he mutters, his warm breath fanning over my face making my skin crawl. The stench of alcohol is undeniable.

He laughs under his breath, his intentions evident in his dark smirk which doesn't reach his clouded eyes.

I whimper and turn my head to the side as his breath pounds against my cheek, desperate to avoid his gaze. I screw my eyes shut, willing the tears to subside as suddenly it's happening. There's nothing I can do to stop it. I'm not strong enough to push him off and he knows it.

A searing pain burns through my body as my innocence is ripped from me. I open my mouth and scream for help but I cannot make a sound. What?! I try again. Nothing but dead silence though I am frantic and screaming desperately inside.

I'm paralysed by fear and pain. This can't be happening. No! I can barely breathe now. Every inch of air is being drawn from my lungs and my head is pounding.

Black starts to creep into the corners of my vision. Why cant I scream? I can't breathe. I can't fucking breathe.

Shit.

I jolt awake screaming, my heart pounding furiously, my breathing shallow and erratic. My face feels sticky with a mixture of sweat and tears as I hold my head in my hands.

I can't get it out of my head. It burns in my brain, etched into my memory. Every night it's the same dream, it never changes. And every time I relive it feels just as real as the last, like it's actually happening again.

I'm snapped out of my flashback as my bedroom door opens.

A woman pokes her head around the door and her gaze falls on me.

"Everything okay in here?" she asks knowingly as she gives me a sympathetic smile.

It's Ann, one of the nurses. I think she's in her late 50's, with mousy brown hair which is cut into a bob framing her happy face. I've grown to like her quite a lot since I've been here, unlike some of the other nurses.

"Yes, thankyou I'm fine now. Just a nightmare." I tell her reassuringly as I plaster a fake smile on my face hoping she'll buy it. I'm pretty sure she sees straight through me but she doesn't say anything.

"Okay honey, just let me know if there's anything you need." And she turns and closes my door again.

I'm glad she didn't push the matter any further, I'm really not in the mood for a therapy session right now.

I sit staring at the now bare walls of my room, knowing it would be pointless to try to get back to sleep. I did have some posters up of my favourite bands and a few pictures which made the place feel a bit more homely, but I had to take them down because I'm moving rooms today.

Apparently there's another patient coming in that needs this one so as of this afternoon, I'll be in a new room. A double room. Which means having to share with somebody.

I'm not particularly thrilled about that concept but what can you do? I'm not really a people person, well, not so much anymore.

Looking at the clock on my nightstand I'm pleasantly surprised to see that it's 8:30. God I never sleep this late! Well I guess that's not too early for me to start moving my stuff then.

I slide my legs out of the covers and I rise to my feet, padding across the wooden floor to the other side of the room where two cardboard boxes are situated. It's kind of depressing to look at. This is what I have to show for my life. Two average sized cardboard boxes worth of stuff. That's it.

I push the thought to the back of my mind and scoop up the first box. The loose sleeves of my hoodie rise up as I do so and I quickly pull them down over my wrists to form sweater paws. I can't let anyone notice. If any of the nurses see they'll put me on high supervision again and that is not happening.

I do not have the patience to have someone watching and checking on me every minute of the day. If they think I'm already crazy, see how fucking crazy I am after that.

I open my door and wander down the hallway to my newly allocated room. I knock softly on the door, conscious that whoever is in there may still be asleep. I wait. Who am I kidding? I don't give a shit if they're asleep or not, this box is heavy. I knock again, louder this time and I hear someone inside scurry over to the door.

A girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes stands in front of me. I can imagine they would have once been clear as crystal but they're clouded with her pain. I realise it's the girl I saw arrive the other day and I'm glad that at least it's someone my own age.

"Hey, I'm Sasha. You've probably been told that someone else is moving in here with you and well it's me, so..." I trail off, motioning with my head for her to move to the side so I can go in and set my stuff down. But she just stands there, looking at me impassively, as if she can't even see me.

"Um, I don't mean to be rude, but this box is kind of heavy," I continue hoping she'll get the message.

"Oh god! Yeah I'm sorry!" she apologises as she opens the door wider so I can go in. "Have you got more stuff to bring in?"

"Yeah, I have another box in my room, I'll go get it now," I reply as I set the box down on the empty bed which I assume will belong to me.

"No, you start unpacking, I'll go get it," she offers with a nervous smile as she walks out of the room. "Oh by the way, I'm Zoe," she reveals, quickly poking her head back into the room before she dashes off down the hallway.

I chuckle lightly to myself and sit down on the bed. Glancing around I notice there are already some posters on her side of the room. All time low, Green Day, Blink 182, The 1975. Huh, good taste, maybe this won't be as bad as I think.