Diana (Urban Fiction)

V.

Now, what the fuck was I thinking?

A bitch ain't got on nothing but a t-shirt and panties, I'm half drunk off raspberry Arbor Mist, and I got my Apple Music on shuffle because I clean my apartment better when I got music playing. I set myself up for failure, now I'm frantically calling Semére, who might not answer because she fucks for a living.

"Babygirl, it's 1 in the morning- are you listening to The Clark sisters?"

"I got my music on shuffle I was cleaning up while I was drunk and I told Tyrell he could come over."

"AYEEEE. THAT'S MY DAWG!" She yelled before I heard a loud smack and her moan.

"Uh, did I call at a bad time?"

"Oh girl hold on," she sat the phone on the nightstand and I heard a lot of movement and shuffling. Finally she pans the camera to herself and she was vividly in the bathroom now.

"So, now did this all happen?"

"Well I posted how I couldn't sleep on Facebook-"

"See, you did that to yourself."

"Anyway, he called me and I told him I wanted it to be in school conversation only because Desirée called me a teacher bitch right?"

"TEACHER BITCH? Girl I will beat the brakes off that hoe!"

"anyyyway! He asked me if I was hungry and to drop my location and I was totally against it-"

"But he sure is on his way huh?" She laughed.

"Girl this is serious! I don't have on no pants, I'm tipsy, now Gladys Knight playing on my speaker and my floor is still drying. Can you stay on the phone with me?"

"Girl no! You are 24 years old! Keep them pants off, show off them thighs and get that dick like I showed you! Just make sure he has condoms because I know you don't. But real men always keep condoms in their jacket pocket. All mine did at least."

"Nobody can catch em all like you! And I'm
Not ready to just give this man pussy on a platter."

"Okay, fine. Go put on some pants, dry your floor, and pick a damn playlist please! I gotta go, I left Nathan waiting too long. " she blew a kiss before hanging up.

friends, how many of us have them?

I finish cleaning up and put on my grey Nike sweats and picked a steady r&b playlist. I heard a knock at door and I immediately dropped my phone. I'm a nervous wreck. I haven't had a man in my apartment since my dad and my brother helped me move in.

I picked up my phone and threw on the couch, then unlocked the door and let him in. He was still in his outfit from tonight, so I assumed he hasn't had time to relax since he got home. He also had a chipotle bag in one hand a a black plastic bag in another.

"Hey." He said lowly.

"Long night for you too huh? Come in." I opened the door and he walked in slowly.

I instructed him to sit at the kitchen island.

"You thirsty? I got bottled water, sprite, raspberry arbor mist, and some orange juice?"

"Pass me a sprite, please." He revealed a dusse bottle from the black bag.

I guess he saw the look on my face, because he said, "what? I'm not mixing them, it's just a chaser. Here, I got you a burrito bowl."

I looked at him with so much confusion. " I said I wasn't hungry."

"I know, but I got one and if you saw mr eating you'd be hungry and want some of mine and I don't share. I know how women work."