Playing House

FOURTEEN

"Okay Osaze, house rules" She was reading them aloud, off her note app. It was Saturday morning and they were in the living room.

Last night when they got home after retrieving her laptop from the office and grabbing dinner at The place she was too tired to discuss the house rules with him so she just showed him his room and cleared out some of her stuff to create space for him before falling asleep like a log of wood.

When she woke up this morning, she panicked a little (as usual), when she remembered all the crazy stuff she did yesterday and how she ended up with a grown ass man in her house. A hot one at that. one that she has a hIsToRy with...she stopped herself from going on a trip to 'cursed Friday' in her head then quickly developed a strategy to maintain a strict platonic relationship with him.

He was a nice person, a HOT smart person, but she needed to keep things platonic. What they have going is good. She was not sure of the kind of person he is as a guy to a girl but she was certain he is a good friend. Moreover, he is at a point in his life where he needs to stay focused and free of any entanglements. Right?

At least that is what she sold to him to make him stay back. He doesn't need any distractions. She knew he rather liked her... small but she wasn't stupid enough to think those were real feelings. He needs to find himself and maybe heal and grow from all the stuff he has had to deal with in the last couple of years. Yes, he is hot and all but, she genuinely likes him as a person and not like 'that'.

Which is why she drafted the 'House Rules' earlier when she woke up and recovered from her mini panic attack.

He nodded as she belted off each one laughing occasionally at the funny ones.

"No. 5: No house parties, No. 6: No bringing girls over"

He raised his hand up. "Wait, why can't I bring girls over?"

"Because, I don't bring men to the house!" She snapped at him playfully then added mockingly "I know you take random girls home when you're drunk, I am a walking testimony to that"

"Ah! You are using that against me when you are an accomplice?" He protested

"Bring a stranger home is different from following a stranger home" She eyed him.

"Following a stranger home is much more dangerous and that is what you should ban on that list"

"Following a stranger home is only a risk to the follower while bringing a stranger home is a risk to all of us" She argued.

"You're scared some girl I pick up in a club will stab you in your sleep and steal all your stuff?"

"Give it a rest Canada boy! No girls and that's final. If you want to bring girls home go and live under the bridge."

He nodded. "Yes boss"

She continued "No. 7, no.... shit ooooo this useless phone" Her phone had auto locked, she typed in her passcode furiously.

"So..... Can I bring men?" he said with a sly grin.

"Yes you c..." she trailed off as she realized what he was implying as her jaw dropped.

He into a fit of laughter. She was speechless. She gave up and sprawled on the couch.

"You're a fool I swear" She stifled a laugh. "Look I am tired of your games already so I'm just going to print out the rules and paste on your wall then send a copy to your email".

At night, they were watching one of those BBnaija weekend party and he started again "I am hot, can I at least take off the top?" She forced him to buy pajamas earlier when he said he only sleeps in boxers or his birthday suit. His revelation inspired house rule No. 32, no hanging around naked or without full clothing in the shared areas of the house. He objected the rule as expected claiming that as a Canadian his body is yet to adjust to the Lagos heat. Now even with the air conditioner running on 17 degrees he was still complaining.