Playing House

TWENTY EIGHT

Osaze's POV:

They met 8 months ago and he has been living with her for 7 months now, She accommodated him for 7 good months and he was about to ruin her life.

Seeing her having a meltdown made him realize how much damage he had done, he was like a tornado wrecking and destroying everything in his path.

That night as he lay awake in his bed waiting for dawn, Osaze played out all the possible scenarios in his head.

Truth is he would love to have a child with her, he IS in love with Toyin after all and her getting pregnant for him might tie her down to him forever but that's a short cut to her heart.

That is not how he wants her.

She is going to hate him; she made it very clear that she wanted to get married first. She wanted to get it right. She was has worked so hard all her life to achieve her goals and stay on the right track. Living with her he has learned how she puts herself under so much pressure, she never gives herself a break, plus she is her own biggest critic. She was even rubbing off him in a good way because he has started figuring things out for himself.

He knew the last thing she wanted in her life right now is a baby. And if he was being honest with himself they weren't ready for a child, HE wasn't ready to be a father. This will disrupt her life completely and even if she chooses to give it up or God forbid terminate it she would still resent him forever.

He berated himself for being so selfish, He should have used protection, or he should have just kept his hands off her completely. He should have moved out when he started earning small money but he just stayed here taking advantage of her because she let him.

He thought about her parents, her father, how was he going to face her father who likes and trusts him already. That night was the most stressful night of his life.

So when he picked up that test result and saw that it was negative he was super relieved. He almost passed out from the dizziness he experienced as the pressure, fear and anxiety vanished rapidly from him.

She was relieved too, but he was still worried about her. She had a mental breakdown last night and he didn't know what to do. They had not spoken since he tried to talk to her last night and he is not even sure if she has eaten.

He blamed himself, if she had never met him she would probably be with BMW guy by now instead of dealing with shit like this and a looser like him. He was in her way and he was trouble. It was all fun and games until this reality hit him. The reality that he has nothing to offer her at this point in his life. Love is not enough, his love means nothing if he cannot make her happy or take care of her when they're having a crisis.

That same day he started looking for a place, he had overstayed his welcome. She was way too nice to ask him to leave.

He wanted to use the house sale balance to hire a consultant for the new business idea he had come up with but right now moving out is top priority, After paying off the mortgage balance and part of his debts. He had about 16,000 CAD (4.8M) left that is more than enough for anyone to start a modest life in this Lagos.

One week later

"I'm moving out tonight, I got a place in Yaba" He said.

"Okay" She didn't look at him. Her eyes were glued to the TV but she didn't look like she was paying attention. She was staring blankly at the screen.

"Toyin, Thank you so much.... for everything" He said

She nodded flatly.

"I... i am sorry for.... I am so sorry" He really didn't know how to go about this. He did not want to bring back memories of that night.