Comfortable Silence || H.S.

8. Good Game || Harry

It was the first time in my life I'd played a game without my dad there. Our win was the only thing the others were thinking about when it was over, so luckily, no noticed except Liam. I just shrugged it off and told him Dad wasn't feeling well.

I ran in two touchdowns, but my dad wasn't there to see them. He hadn't been in his spot cheering me on. He hadn't been at the fence with his big grin when I came running to the sidelines. He hadn't been there because he'd had a fever and was on so much pain medicine, he wasn't even lucid.

He hated taking the pain meds; he liked being there mentally with us; but he'd been in so much pain last night, Mom had to force him to take them. Then, when he finally went to sleep, she'd fallen into my arms and sobbed. I had never seen her like this before; had never seen her break down.

Facing today's game had been the last thing I wanted to do. Knowing I would get to go home and tell my dad about it had been the only way I'd been able to play. I wanted to tell him something that would make him smile. I wanted him to believe in me. He and I had shared my dreams for so long. I didn't want him to know I was losing those dreams. Because without him, I wouldn't care anymore.

Not to mention Mom would need me when he was gone.

I hadn't looked for Sage after the game. I'd gone straight to my truck, determined to get the hell away from all of them. All their joy over our win. I couldn't be happy. My dad hadn't been there. Winning didn't mean as much anymore.

Facing my dad while my emotions were so raw wasn't a good idea. But going to the field party where the team would be celebrating seemed fucking pointless. I couldn't celebrate. I just wanted to forget. I wanted my old life back.

I wanted my dad healthy. 

After driving around for almost an hour, lost in the pain that had become part of me, my truck drove down the familiar dirt road to the field party. It was here or home, and I couldn't go home just yet. I needed a few beers, and I needed to forget.

Everyone was already here. The loud shouts and laughter had once been sounds of excitement for me. Now I hated them. None of my friends had worries except winning a football game. They didn't know what fear was. None of them. These were the best fucking years of their lives. Once, they'd been mine, too.

I closed my truck door and stared at the bonfire through the trees. I would have to walk in there and put on a fake smile. I would have to talk about a game I played with everything I had but only because I wanted to be able to tell my dad about it. Not because my heart was in it.

I didn't fit in anymore. With any of them.

But where else could I go?

Drinking would ease the pain some. Nothing would take it all away. I needed to find an escape.

I could pretend. It was what I did best lately.

Heading to the open field, I found a beer and made my way over to my friends. Sage was here already. I could see her over with the soccer boys. I knew she was mad, and that was her way of getting back at me. 

I just didn't care.

"Where have you been? We've been replaying the awesomeness from Styles tonight, and you haven't even been here to glory in it!" Zayn yelled out to me as I walked toward them.

"I had some things to do first," I replied with a grin that hinted I'd been doing someone rather than somethings. I'd let them think what they wanted. Anything is better than the truth.

They all laughed at my remark.

"Guess that's why Sage moved over to soccer boy land," Louis replied. He'd been pissed at me for a day or two, but after practice on Thursday we'd both agreed I was right. He had to focus on football and not Liam's cousin.

I shrugged and took a seat down on the bench that Zayn was sitting on. "Whatever," I replied.

Next to me, Zayn started talking. "But seriously, Louis. You have to quit looking for her. She's okay. She's here and she's not your business. Liam will be back any minute with Cassandra's drink, and if he thinks you're looking for his cousin, he'll get pissy."

I turned my attention to Louis. I thought he had backed off that. 

Louis held up both his hands. "Easy, I was just seeing who was here. Not looking for anyone."

"Bullshit," Zayn muttered.

"She's here?" I asked, wondering why she came to these parties if she was just going to hide in the shadows of the field.

"Liam said his mom makes him bring her. She doesn't want to come. He feels bad for her," Cassandra said with a shrug, as if she couldn't care less.

"Pisses me off that he doesn't let her sit with us." Louis sounded aggravated.

"Not. Your. Fucking. Business," was Zayn's response. I wanted to agree with Zayn, but Louis was right too. Liam was wrong for just bringing her here and leaving her all alone. It was cruel.

"Uh-oh, here comes drama," Cassandra said with a smile, then looked at me.

"Well, shit," Zayn muttered as I turned to see Sage walking our way.

Her hair was messy from fooling around with the soccer guy. What was she headed over here for? I liked her better over there.

"Y'all confuse the hell out of me," Louis said. "Today at the pep rally I thought she was going to suck your face off. Now she's sucking someone else's face off." 

I grabbed my beer and stood up. I was leaving. I didn't want her shit tonight. I had bigger issues than Sage.

"I'm out," I said.

"You're leaving?"

"Already?"

"You did that last week!"

They all seemed surprised. I just nodded and held up my beer. "Good game. Let's own this season," I said, then headed to the woods and my truck.