Dear Future Husband

30. A Long-Awaited Reunion

20 July 1891

When the gentlemen and ladies had separated after supper, the ladies went to drink tea while the men went to huff and puff on cigars in the smoking room. Mr. Redmond Flynn had gone away claiming some important business had called him, but in reality, he suspected he only wanted to leave Max alone with the man.

Maximilian felt a sense of foreboding rise in the pit of his stomach. He had run from his past so long, yet it had always been chasing him. Lee had told him once that no matter how far and how fast he tried to flee from God, God would always be there to welcome him back with open arms. Now he wondered if Lord Winthrop had been sent from God. To do what, he had no idea. To punish him for his sins? For leaving as he had, so abruptly, so rudely, hurting poor Rosalie and breaking her trust?

Lord Winthrop steepled his fingers beneath his chin. "So, Maximilian, it seems we meet at last. I must say, this is a long-awaited reunion,"

"I'm afraid I can't say the same, Lord Winthrop," he said, blowing out a deep sigh. He dared not touch the cigars. He feared becoming too much–or perhaps even more–like Edgar Wakefield than he already was. "I left for a reason."

The man's eyes were kind instead of rebuking. His voice was gentle instead of chastising. Yet Maximilian had spent his life waiting for the lash of the whip; the smack of the belt to tan his backside; the ruler to hit his hand. He had spent his life running from punishment and expecting to experience it anyway, so why should this man, this man whom he had betrayed and so ungratefully so, too, be anything different?

"I know, Maximilian. I know you have your reasons for leaving, just as I had mine for seeking you out," Lord Winthrop said. Despite the man's fatherly countenance and his benevolent appearance, Maximilian could not help but wonder. Did he mean to seek a debt to be paid?

"If you wish for payment for a debt, I am afraid I cannot find any money right now... perhaps..." His voice faltered. He felt desperate. Weak. Pathetic.

"No, Maximilian, I would never ask that of you. You brought me and my family great joy and friendship, even, during our time in Hong Kong. Of course, when you left, you truly hurt Rosalie as well," he said ruefully. "But your departure was so sudden, and so out of character... I did not what to make of it. I knew, of course, that you were a decent and honourable young man–"

"Please." His voice broke. "You do not know what I have done. Do not sally forth with these false beliefs about my character."

He had not kept the Sabbath nor been to church in nearly a year. He could scarcely remember when he had last prayed with a sincere heart and desire to speak to his Heavenly Father, only that this meal had been the first when he had said grace. Maximilian felt as though he had dug himself too deeply into a pit of sin for him to ever dig his way out. He had done too many horrible things under Edgar's twisted tutelage and had committed too many grievous crimes to ever be forgiven.

"I know that there are no sins Christ's blood cannot wash clean, Max." Samuel Winthrop's voice was tender. The voice of a father comforting his son. But there was a greater Father. Would He comfort him? "Maximilian, whatever you have done, whoever you have hurt, know that if you seek forgiveness and repent for your sins, He shall forgive you. He shall embrace you with open arms."

"I have done so many terrible things, Lord Winthrop. I have hurt you and Rosalie! You do not even know why I left you in Hong Kong. How can you even stand to speak to me, let alone seek me out in a city with hundreds of thousands of people?" He flung his hands in the air.

"Why did you leave, Maximilian?" Lord Winthrop probed. "Why did you not stay with us in Hong Kong? Was it your pride?"

He stared down at his hands, at the few flecks of dirt beneath his fingernails. "It was because I worried for you. I overheard a conversation you were having... I did not want you to be responsible for my supposed kidnapping... forgive me, but people were spreading rumours about your reputation and your wife's disappearance, were they not?"