Dear Future Husband

33. Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

10 May 1892

Dear future husband,

Today is the day that Sterling Bennett is to be wed. They really have postponed this wedding for quite some time now, due to some unsavoury business which I was not allowed to hear about but learned of anyway (it may be far too unsavoury for me to write here! I shall tell you later).

I am unsure of how to feel toward this young man. On one hand, I have done my utmost to forgive him of all the harm he has caused me that resulted in my being sent to Sherborne Girls' School. Which, to be quite frank with you, was not such a terrible experience as I have made many friends at school. It was actually quite a fortunate time for me. But I digress.

Tell me, future husband, how am I to behave toward this man? My mind and my etiquette are telling me to wish him and his wife well, yet I cannot help but believe that their union is doomed to failure. This girl, Emilia Livingston, seems like a lovely and noble young lady. Yet she is enrolling herself into a most unfortunate and cursed life by tying herself to him. It would be a most undeserved fate for any young lady indeed.

When I told Papa of my concerns, he became very sad and we spoke of it no more. I believe he shares my worries but he only told me that we cannot control the decisions of others and that their fates are in God's hands. While it is true that we are not God, are we not his hands and feet? Should it not be my duty to warn this girl against a dastardly rascal like Sterling Bennett himself?

Or am I to believe that this rake, this knave, has been reformed? If so, by whom? Has he been redeemed? Can he be redeemed? A few years have passed now, after all, since the most horrible incident which ended my and Anna's friendship. I ought to forgive him and forget how he offended me, but I am afraid I cannot. Is it bitterness and resentment that burns within me, or is it a righteous desire to see justice done?

Whatever happens, I am looking forward to attending the wedding regardless. I do quite enjoy such events and I have already picked out the perfect hat. It is green in colour, a departure from my usual pink and blue attire, and shall go perfectly with my new muslin. But I am sure you do not care for such details that men consider frivolous yet women consider to be endlessly fascinating.

Tell me, will you be attending any such social affairs soon? Are you in possession of any ruined friendships over the romantic overtures of a young lady, or is this ill-fortune mine alone to bear? Whatever the case may be, I do pray that you are of good standing in society but more importantly, among your friends and family.

I still have not attended my very first Season yet, though I do beg Papa to take me into town. I suppose he is forcing me to stay put until my education at Sherborne is completed, which does seem most unfair. However, it is a fate I shall have to resign myself to.

I remain,

Sincerely Yours,

Rosalie Winthrop

Tucking the letter away, she brushed her fingers against the velvet drawstring pouch that contained her mother's necklace. She had moved it around her room for safekeeping, which was perhaps not the best method because in some cases, she couldn't even remember where she herself had placed it. It was still a source of complete mystery to her.

A mystery that had only been complicated by the fact that she had many suspicions about Mary Stewart. Reservations that should have been laid to rest by speaking to her father, but she knew also that Mary Stewart had five younger siblings whom she assiduously worked to keep off of the streets. What if, in her hasty, unfounded allegations, Rosalie destroyed her life and sent all her family off to the poorhouse? No, she couldn't do that to her.