Dear Future Husband

39. Do You Have News of Him?

21 April 1894

Dear future husband,

I write to you on the eve of my official coming out into society! I am so excited that I can scarcely sleep; though my eyelids, to be sure, are slowly drooping, and my hands barely hold this quill with which I write, I find myself unable to go to bed and find rest. Thus, I decided I might quiet my mind of the traversing thoughts that filter through it, by speaking with you. Or rather, writing to you. Or really, simply putting my thoughts down on a sheet of paper.

Seeing as you are the only refuge I might find, and the only semblance of privacy with which I might have the freedom to express these notions that have ravaged my brain and left me incapable of diving into slumber, I come to you now. Though I wish to believe you shall not fail me, I realize also that only Christ can possibly be the one who never fails us. Thus, ignore my minor digression.

How are you faring? Surely, you are out in society already and doing all sorts of grand things such as watching the horses race at Tattersall (though hopefully not losing all your money and going into debt to bet on the horses, as many a young man has done in my social circle).

Oh, speaking of men who have the most terrible habits, I must mention to you! Sterling Bennett–do you recall him? He was a rather horrid rake and a mot incorrigible, unredeemable–no, no, I mustn't write such things, for he could very well be redeemed by God's love, yet certainly not by human hands–and now he has fled to join the Navy. Last I heard of him, he was on the Indian subcontinent, doing whatever it is that soldiers do. Anyways, hopefully, he will not disturb the women there overly much.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Tattersall, horses, and society. I am sure you are out and about drinking in coffeehouses, dining at Pall Mall or some other gentlemen's club, and all manner of activities that young gentlemen do. Hopefully, you are enjoying yourself far more than I, who have had to passively watch Lily and my other friends have their grand balls and wear white dresses for their debuts. Nonetheless, I shall aspire to remain cheerful during this time. Though of late, Papa has been extremely protective of me, even more so than usual.

Of course, I need a chaperone with me wherever I go, so he has brought back my governess, Anne Wilson, and I do enjoy her company now, even if she has recently married and is only spending time with me because her husband is often away on business. Soon enough, someone else shall need to be my chaperone, in order to protect my reputation, as Father puts it. When I asked him why young men had no such things, he could not respond to me.

But I digress once more! It has been quite fun, actually, to hear all the stories that Lily and Mary are telling me of all the gentleman callers who arrive at their houses the day after a ball. Stories of their grand dances with gentlemen, the irritating earls or dashing dukes, the landed gentry, and the lovely ballgowns that they are allowed to commission from the modiste and wear to dance the night away. Are you dancing with many young ladies this Season?

Of course, my jealousy ought to be tamped down, especially concerning a man I have still yet to meet. Thus, I shall conclude with a prayer. I pray to our Heavenly Father that you would be safe, that though you may be buffeted by trials and tribulations, His love would sustain you. May you remain on the path of righteousness, for no other path can truly deliver you to Heaven or to anywhere good. I pray this in His Name, Amen.

I remain,

Sincerely Yours,

Rosalie Winthrop

"Rosalie, I thought I had told you to get to bed," Papa scolded, but his chastisement fell on deaf ears. She was almost now soundly asleep, as she did her best to tuck away the writing implements, dripping ink onto her letter.