Silence

Random Thoughts 3 (07-19-20)

I've been working for almost four months now and I so love my job as an online teacher. At first, it was really hard for me to cope up but in the long run. I found myself loving my job because of the love and praises of my students. I was wondering how I got this opportunity in the midst of the pandemic. Yes, this year is tough. Most of the people nowadays were suffering from poverty, hunger, and the increasing unemployment rate but here I am counting the little blessings that I've got from my hard-earned effort job.

I can say that I'm lucky enough to experience this. God was indeed amazing! He's done many great things in my life. Though I suffered from anxiety and fear in the past few months, he still made my journey interesting. He has given me courage to take risk that's why I am where I am now.

The first few months were so hard because I hardly got any bookings and all my days were spent for just 3-5 students which means my salary was not enough to provide my needs. I almost gave up. I felt embarrassed and I almost belittled my teaching ability. I kept asking myself why? What's lacking? Am I not a good teacher? Everytime I got home from work, I always found myself crying. However, I never gave up. I was patient. I always do my best in teaching and now I finally got what I wanted. My days were becoming busier as it goes by. My regular students kept motivating me to do my best. I have earned enough money for my family's needs. I'm happy that I've got to help my father in the everyday expenses. I've also helped my brother got to college. Isn't it satisfying?

But the thing is, I'm still bored. Even though I'm busy, I'm still bored and lonely. I have money but I don't know how to spend it for myself. Decision-making is really my weakness.