Silence

What's new? (02-07-22)

Garnering my thoughts again, I came back here to express. It's been a long time but it doesn't matter. Writing will always be a part of me and even if I've been dragged into something new, I will always go back to the thing that makes me feel better.

"What's new?" That's what I'm always curious about. It's been awhile and maybe I thought, life's better now. I wanted to think of that too, but it's still struggling. Huh! Months passed idly. No work, no gain. I'm definitely useless this time around. Well, I just got one but I really cannot consider it as a full-time job. Still, it was a blessing.

This time, I'm trying to think optimistically about the opportunity I just got from one of the institutions I've applied to. I still have no background about how a typical employee am I going to partake in because the orientation was lacking but I'm doing my best to do what I can do with the job they've assigned to me. I wanted to think that it is the beginning of my journey. I think we should normalised the idea of starting from the bottom because that's what I'm doing right now.

I'm already 23 and I think I still have a long way to go. I'm still young, I shouldn't pressure myself to chase the fast-paced society. It's an overstatement to say that life is a race so you need to hurry and chase your dreams so you wouldn't be left behind. Maybe in the past, I always thought of that. I always push myself to my limits because I was afraid of the people's judgements. I was comparing myself to the life of others and the standards that I've put into myself is very high. As a result, I ended up doing impulsive decisions that made me feel regretful. The opinions of others brought a sandstorm in the corner of my memory. It was still so blurry that my anxious mind cannot process what I really wanted in my life.

Yes, life is a race but it is a long, painful, and memorable race. We have our own paces to finish it. We will encounter different obstacles in the way and we have our own way to overcome it. It's a good thing to experience challenges because that is a part of growing up. Maturity strikes at the peak of hardships.  It's okay to feel vulnerable at times. Don't pretend to be strong when you feel weak. It's okay to fail and crash but always remember to stand up again and keep going.

Begin another day with a happy smile and everything will be okay again. I just hope everything will gonna be okay. I still feel so grateful and blessed for what I have now. I will work harder to achieve my goals. I know I can do it! There is a right time for everything. Fighting!