Requested by: Rugratsfan101
Petunia was able to sneak out of the house after finding what had happened to Dudley. She was heavily stressed and needed to find something to take her mind off of it. She went to the town bar and told the bartender to make her the strongest thing they had which happened to be hardcore whiskey.
Y/n also went to the bar after getting chewed out by some other Death eaters for being weak. She just wanted to get drunk and forget about it. She took the seat next to Petunia and ordered f/a/d (favorite alcoholic drink) and told them to make it strong.
"Rough day?" Petunia asked after she finished her whiskey.
"Yeah, just some asshats that were giving me a rough time for no damn reason." Y/n mumbled as she took a shot of whiskey.
"Wow, that's rough." Petunia mumbled as she got another drink.
"What about you? You seem to want to drink yourself to death." Y/n asked while she stirred her drink.
"My son got into some shit and scared the hell out of me." Petunia answered as she put a hand on her forehead.
"You've got kids?" Y/n almost wanted to laugh at the idea of having kids.
"Yeah, sometimes it's a blessing and sometimes it's hell." Petunia shrugged.
"I'm glad I don't have that problem, it's pretty much the only one I don't have." Y/n gave a dry laugh and downed another shot.
"Wanna get drunk together?" Petunia offered.
"Sure, why the hell not?" Y/n agreed.
~One hour later~
"You're like-*hic* the best-*hic* ya know that?" Y/n hiccuped, very obviously drunk.
"Yeah, you-*hic* too." Petunia had a drunken smile.
Y/n and Petunia had much more alcohol than either thought they could ever take before passing out.
Y/n then felt her stomach rumble as she laid her head down on the bar and let out a fart.
Some of the people in the bar looked at her weirdly for this.
"Oi, mind your-*hic* damn business-*hic*." Y/n mumbled, not loud enough for others to hear though.
Petunia only leaned over and let out a very loud fart that practically echoed in the room. (what am I doing with my life-)
There was a very brief silence between the two that was followed by a string of laughter being shared between hiccups.
After a few minutes they both went into the bathroom, or more or less stumbled to the bathroom.
"Hey-*hic*, could you check-*hic* my dress." Petunia slurred her words.
"Sure." Y/n checked and didn't really see anything. "You're-*hic* good."
"Alrighty." Petunia shrugged.
They both cleaned up a bit before returning to the bar and having one more round of drinks before they both passed out.
Someone had to call Vernon to get Petunia and he was not happy when he had to do this.
One of the Death eaters eventually picked up Y/n, cursing the whole way back.
Let's just say that both of them wound up with a massive headache in the morning and very bad hangover.
Authors note:
Here ya go, sorry it took so long! This past week was the last week of the semester in school and it was bad, I just was stressed and didn't have time to get down to writing this. But here it is! I hope you're not too upset that I'm late. Thanks for reading!
~Python
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Fandom Oneshots (Requests Open!)
RandomRequests are open and all of the Fandoms I write for are on the first page of this book. I will do character x character or character x reader. If it is an x reader then I will automatically write as a female reader, so if it is male or non-binary...
