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My body burned with anger for letting myself be so weak, for getting drunk and jeopardizing Dante even more than he already is.
Getting out of the apartment building I looked around me, seeing a familiar street. 'Okay, at least I know where I am.' I thought to myself as I started my way towards my apartment.
'It's not that far away.' I thought again as I speeded my pace into a rather quick jog.
The fresh morning air didn't calm my nerves the way I wanted instead it seemed only to add fuel to the fire. My nerves were restless because I myself didn't know or remember everything from last night, I don't remember how much I told Dante but however much I did it clearly was enough for him to go on a rampage.
Feeling the coldness poke its cold fingers through my body I wrapped my arms around myself trying to keep warmth in while pushing the tears that started to blurt my vision. Blinking a couple of times to clear my sight I bit my lip hard almost driving blood as my memory started to clear a bit.
I should have kept my mouth shut, I should have to get back home yesterday and let Leandro find me. Let him have me back under his feet. Stomp over me causing me to turn into dirt. That way... that way I would at least know that Dante and the rest are safe. I'm only creating danger and making his death bed by staying near him.
My heart ached with pain from the slap I gave him. I saw the betrayed, hurt, heartbroken, sad look that crossed his face, and everything that he wanted was to help. But how could I let him in when all he will get is hurt.
He can't help me.
I can't help myself.
Turning the jog into a run I tried to let the steam off but instead, all I got was weird stares from people on the morning streets of Rome. It's not the run that was on receiving end of the curious looks but instead my clothes. 'Who goes on a morning run in jeans?'
Clenching my jaw tightly enough to give me a feeling that my teeth will shatter if I did a pinch more of pressure I pushed my limits. My legs were flying, almost not touching the concentration of the floor as I turned into the street next to my building.
My breathing was fast and shallow, mental and physical exhaustion started to take its toll on me.
I'm tired.
Tired of everything.
Tired of myself.
Throwing open the door I jumped two stairs at the time. The need to be closed somewhere safe, somewhere where I can't cause hurt to others, somewhere where I can break, was burning within me.
My legs hurt till the point where they started to shake from exhaustion and pain from all this running. Slowing my pace on the last couple of stairs I grabbed the railings in the tight hold pulling myself up till I didn't reach the last floor of the building.
